Teahmore
Episode 14 - Misconceived
Spending time working endlessly became a new routine for me right now, even I intentionally
changing the meeting schedule with clients to be a Saturday or week to make me not bored.
Unfortunately today my work is really little, even I have free time to go to lunch which I usually do in my office.
“Desta?” Greet someone make sure.
I turned around, staring in disbelief at the woman in front of me. It feels so good and relieved to see it again. But I realized that this feeling of pleasure would lead me to a feeling of pain.
“Hei Desta.” Call me again, for I am silent. “Forgotten with me?”
I'm shaking. How can I forget someone who never absent a day in my mind? “How are you?”
“Good. How are you?” Ask me back.
“Good too.” Answer lies.
Silent.
“Where does it work smoothly?”
“Currently. Your lecture?”
“That's.”
Silent.
“After all?”
“Iya, you too?”
“No, it's the same Brian.” Show it to the man who is sitting and looking seriously at his laptop screen.
I smiled fakely covering up the disappointment. Every time in a situation like this it feels like my heart is pierced by something to the point that it feels as tight as torture.
“Good day. Please order sir.” Greet the servant greeting me who has advanced on the front row. “Oriental Fried Rice's. Take away yes.” My love.
“You don't eat here?” Ask Anggie.
I'm shaking. “Many works.” Answer lies.
“This is the order sir. Thanks though. Welcome back.”
I nodded and took my order. “Sorry. I first.” My pampit left a reality I didn't want to see.
♥♥♥♥
After the last meeting at the restaurant near my office, accidentally me and Anggie meet again near his apartment, so I was reluctant to stop by
just sec. I am shameless, indeed,
take advantage of the opportunity when Brian is not on his side, but what are the forces of longing
has mastered. However, our meeting was filled with
silence without sound or laughter.
“I want to talk.” We said it together, so it made me and Anggie look at each other and go back into silence.
To be honest, I'm still not sure I want to talk to her about anything, because there are so many things that bother my heart. But this time I really wanted to make it clear how our relationship was, at least to know if he ever loved me.
“You first.” We said it simultaneously and made us fall silent again.
What exactly does Anggie want to say? What about his relationship with Brian?
“What do you want to talk to?” Ask her.
Anggie remained silent and bowed his face. As if hiding his eyes from me, so that I could not read his feelings.
“Gie.”
“Ehm. You first.” Anggie finally answered.
I shakes disapprovingly. “Ladies first.”
Anggie sighed. “He who.” Ask. “Women in your home.” He continued, because I looked confused.
“Nyokap and Erika.”
Anggie shakes. “Not! The woman who hugged you.”
Anggie put his index finger on my lips, as if asking me to shut up. “Erine? Nice name.” The compliment. “You guys look compatible, she is also beautiful.”
“But..”.
“But why Dest?”
I shook my head, and cursed at myself, who always wanted to give an explanation.
“You also look compatible with Brian. She is nice and looks affectionate with you.” I said fake smile.
“Can we not discuss Brian?” Pintanya.
“Why?”
“Because I want to know about your relationship with Erine.”
“Sama, I also want to know your relationship with Brian.”
“That's it if you don't want to tell. I can see what your relationship is.” He answered without caring about my words. “I just want to make sure straight away, but I don't think I need to.”
“What do you mean?” I was confused and didn't understand what Anggie said.
“I mean may we be happy with each other's way.”
I nodded and agreed to Anggie's request. I should have realized, that the direction of the conversation was to end our relationship head-on. But that's his right, he who started our play should have ended it.
Although I had hoped, that this meeting of ours returned my hope to be with him, but reality did not always fit the dream.
If my dream can only be a dream, let time erase my hurt. How big am I
want to be with him, but if he does not love me it will only be my wish.
Let the joy of having time with him, remain an unforgettable memory.
If I could repeat time, I would like to say the word love once for her.
♥♥♥♥
I fell silent and looked at the shadow of Desta, who had just been here. It feels different, very different! We are like two people who are so far away. It looks ludicrous, our twitching for two years, ended like this.
Unknowingly my tears came back, I really wanted to touch her face, clasping her hands, even hugging her. Really, I look pathetic!
“Hhh.” If this pain could go with him, maybe I'd be much better off.
“You day!” I yelled annoyed, throwing pillows at the door. “Why can't you look into my eyes, that I'm so hurt!”
“Why did you give me hope, that you loved me all this time! Why why. Why Dest?! Why?!”
My tears can't stop. It hurts so much to know he's with Erine. I was so envious to see her hug Desta, I really wanted to do that!
If only it was a drama, it could tell the story. I'll set it up, that we can finally be together and live happily until old age. Unfortunately my life in reality is not a fairy tale world.
“Hhh.” My grunt looked around. Only the lights in the living room I turned on, while in the other room I kept them out. I really wanted to calm myself down, but it felt like fate wanted to make me even more aware of who the woman with Desta was.
I immediately picked up the magazine that was located under the table. Tania magazine, left behind yesterday the day after he came here. I just realized that the woman on the cover looks a lot like Erine, “Laurensia Erine.” I said when I read his name.
I wiped away the remaining tears that had soaked my face and started flipping through the magazine articles I was currently holding. Quickly, my eyes searched for an article that contained news of Laurensia Erine.
“Me.” I said when I found the article and some pictures of him.
“Laurensia Erine, a graduate model from Canada who is currently twenty-six years old.”
Twenty-six years? Hm, he's the same age as Desta. Have they known each other for a long time?
“Starting career as a model, since high school and up. Since following her parents moved to Canada, her career as a model has shone even more. But a few months this beautiful girl born in Bogor chose to return to Indonesia.”
I nodded in understanding. She is beautiful, has a good body, graduates abroad, and has a career as a famous model. It is not worth comparing to me who is just like this.
“With incredible busyness. Laurensia Erine, always took back to Bogor her hometown. Exclusively he says, that he wants to always be close to his first girlfriend at High School.”
First Girlfriend in High School? Is that Desta. I remember Desta telling me that he had a girlfriend back in High School, even if it was just for betting. But when Erine becomes prettier, and has things other women want. Which man will refuse to be her lover?
“Hhh.”
From this I understand two things. First, jealousy of the past exists and hurts! Because I can't go back to changing the past of the people I love.
Second, it might sound selfish. But when loving someone is too deep, it feels like I don't want to, the person I love loves loves another woman besides me.
♥♥♥♥
