
Mas Haris got up from his seat and pulled me out of this room, maybe he was upset because I was crying. So in order not to disturb Alena's sleep she took me to the living room. Mas Haris blocked my hand so hard, it hurt a little.
"Stop crying, what are you crying about right now?" ask me Haris. Always asking questions that are hard for me to answer. How can I explain why I cry. If he keeps acting cold like this.
I cried because I felt guilty for Alena.
I cried because I felt guilty for Namira.
I cry because of my own stupidity, why is it always helpless to face this reality?
Wh why? Wh why? Whyyy?!
"Tell me if we're getting married, so I can end it all with Namira."
"No Mas! No!" I quickly replied, even my voice sounded higher. Fortunately, we were not in Alena's room.
"Why?" ask Haris in a slow tone, with his loyal hand blocking my wrist. We were both still standing in this central room, staring at each other with raging thoughts.
"Because I don't want to hurt Namira, Alena's no reason for us to marry Mas. We can still make Alena happy in other ways," I replied between a few loud sounds.
"I'm sorry for putting Mas Haris in such a difficult position like this, I understand why Mas Haris always wanted to obey Alena's wishes, because suddenly Mas only knew if he had children, Alena with her apprehensive condition. But ... But I can't ignore Namira Mas, she has a heart too."
I saw Mas Haris speechless, I felt his hands slacken a little. But when I wanted to pull it back he held it back.
"It's all just from your point of view, Anindya" Mas Haris replied later.
It made me go back to speaking a thousand languages.
"Now all you have to do is be quiet, just think about Alena's happiness. Don't think about Namira, about our relationship, your thoughts are too far away" said Mas Haris again.
One hand moved to wipe away my tears. But because of surprise so reflex I turned my face to the right side.
But Haris seemed angry because I refused his touch, so he pushed me to hit the sofa, so I sat on the edge of the sofa.
If I were to make an original move, if he pushed me more than this it would be certain that I would fall and fall asleep on the couch. In this position, Haris finally managed to wipe my tears.
"If Alena wants me to go back to your house, then I'll go home. If Alena wants us to be together, then we'll get married. About Namira that's gonna be my business, okay?" ask me Haris.
It felt like I wanted to cry again hearing that question, in the end I would hurt the woman I had considered a sister.
"Why is Mas Haris like this, why is Mas not fighting for Namira," I asked.
"Because now I am fighting for my son, my flesh. God has given us a second chance to be with Alena, so let's be full parents for her."
My tears fell again and now Mas Haris immediately removed them. Even as I was about to duck down and lower my gaze, he held my chin, positioning my face to keep staring at him.
"I want Alena to see her dad hold her mom tight, I want Alena to see her dad kiss her dearly. I want the three of us to sleep in the same bed until morning. I want Alena to feel it all, Anindya" said Mas Haris.
All the things that can only be done if we get married.