reversiat

#13

11 Years ago

I slammed the bag onto the sofa in frustration. Today the thesis I gave to the supervisor was full of scribbles again, whether it had been revised how I did it. My count stopped at the 4th time when he wrote a sentence lacking reference in Chapter I of my script.

I closed my eyes trying to adjust my breath to feel a little relaxed until I fell asleep. Some of this time the sleeping hours began to fall because it makes the most thesis sleep in the early hours. The phone call brought my consciousness back. My hand felt – fingered backpacks looking for that thing that felt so noisy. Nayra's name on the screen made me even more excited to continue my sleep.

We haven't spoken to each other in nearly two weeks, the first reason is because we had a fight about Nayra who often walks with her boyfriend which I think is unnatural because there is no normal friendship between a man and a woman, everything will end up being a feeling. Whether the woman who fell in love or her man used to make Nayra became angry because her friendship with a boyfriend named Brian was longstanding and they are good – is fine because Nayra is not feel what – what while I still respond to it pessimistically so that makes us argue on the phone even chat with the word – words are quite rude.

Second, ich, Nayra tried to help find referrals for my script because we chose the same department that is Bussines management but I refused because the literature in English in my opinion was a waste of time because it had to be translated first while my English nor was he so adept at sparking debates between us Nayra felt I didn't appreciate his efforts to help while I said that he didn't need to do that because I could still work on my own because I didn't want to he was more tired with the lecture as well as part time and must be added to help me find references to make me selfish in his eyes. In the end we chose silent treatment as a middle ground so as not to continue – continuous quarrel.

Shocks to my shoulder woke up, Bani who was not wearing the top smiled at me who was rubbing my eyes.

“don't get dizzy !!.. come on.. there's good stuff!” Bani pulled my arm trying to help me wake up, I still don't understand what she's saying. He opened the door to his room and made me momentarily shocked. There were two women, one named Mayra, the woman Bani was dating and the other ex-ku Nadia was holding a bottle of empty mineral water that had been modified. I looked at the man who was also looking at me with a smile. Where did he find this bastard.

“apro Rey.. “ Nadia who turned out to be standing next to me trying to seduce while pulling me into the room. Bani also pushed me into the room.

“Bani.. this.. what's – what's this?” I'm still quite astonished by what I'm witnessing.

“already.. try first a little.. forget first your problem” Bani encouraged me to sit, followed by Maya and Nadia who also corner me to be unable to move. “from you are dizzy with thesis and quarrel with your girlfriend it.. What is her name?... Naya?.. Nara's? Ah.. come on. let's just enjoy the first” Bani thrust Bong sabu to me which makes it difficult to think because this is so I feel very need calm.

Unable to resist the temptation of Bani, I also tried the illegal goods without remembering that the first fateful thing happened to us at school. Ah.. It's been a long time ago.I want to forget for a moment the problem that the damn thesis, also the problem with Nayra.

I don't remember how long the four of us took sabu, either, I do not consume much because as a beginner with this type of illegal goods I am still very stiff in contrast to Bani and the two women who appear to continue – continue to breathe it. However, the effect has already begun to be felt for me. Feeling happy and excited, I pulled Nadia into my arms and started making out with her making Bani and Maya also join – follow-up. Ah. I think I really need this.

I was in a position to embrace Nadia with one hand holding the bong when the door to Bani's room opened.

“RAYHAN!”the sound of the call sounded so loud that it left the four of us shocked. I looked at the voice while trying to recognize the figure that looks faint – faint because of the smoke in the room. A familiar female voice in my ear. such as. oh ****!!! I immediately released Nadia who was still in my arms to stand up and chase after the woman who had walked out.

“Nay.. nayra..” I tried to stop her steps. Shouldn't he be in Sydney right now. “nay.. wait.. ahh” I stopped when I realized my foot was stepping on something.

“i'm stupid.. already believe in you” said Nayra who turned her body to see me. But he stepped back to his car parked in front of the alley. I don't care about my feet anymore and go back to chasing them.

“Nay.. Nay..” I tried to catch Nayra who had managed to get into the car. “Nay.. open the door” I knocked the window trying to make it out. While he was just silent, his tears had flowed. “nay.. I can clearin” I am still trying to persuade him “nayra... nayra.... open the door” my voice began not to call him.

Nayra was still crying in the car as if she didn't care about my call. While I still keep knocking on the window occasionally trying to pull the doorknob hoping he doesn't lock it but I'm wrong. He turned on the car engine makes me panic immediately ran forward trying to block it. I stretched out my hand followed by a long, ear-shrinking horn from Nayra who seemed to have gotten angry. It kept – keeps pressing the horn which made some of our neighbors out of the house to check the situation. Feeling bad for the neighbors, I finally marginalized myself making Nayra immediately step on the gas pedal and go away from the view and my life.

He knows the story about me once consumed marijuana that almost made me quit school, also know that I was still often drunk so he has warned – my daughter to stay away from illegal goods, especially narcotics. And now he finds me with his own eyes taking drugs with a woman he doesn't know.

Walking back to the house with the neighbor still looking at me in astonishment, I saw my body. I came out without a top, wearing only boxer pants. I stopped for a moment to see my feet that felt so sore, there was a bell that stuck deep enough because I was forced to run earlier. Ah. The wound that just felt sore now began to bleed a lot because it began to enlarge. I looked at Bani who was standing with two women who were also whispered materials – whispered neighbors on this dark day.

Finally Bani drove me to the clinic after telling Maya and Nadia to go home. I stared blankly at the nurse who was pulling the shard with a blank look, either because of the lidocaine injection or I was still high because of the influence of meth, I could not feel anything. While my thoughts are not here with me, he is busy working out a scenario about what will happen to my relationship with Nayra, did we break up? Ah. that's for sure. What are the neighbors going to do that seem to be getting suspicious of me and Bani? What about my college fate? Ah... What should I tell my parents if they know of my behavior this time?

***

The clapping that echoed broke my daydream. Nayra had finished singing beautifully, Mila's eyes still did not stop looking at me occasionally looking towards Nayra who had come down from the stage walking past several pairs of eyes that looked at her with admiration, and passed me with a smile. Actually I want to step out to greet him but feel bad with the look of Mila who feels like she wants to kill me. I can only smile back from a distance. He seemed to enjoy this night with – people around him, making me think why not me who was there.

Mila immediately stood up as soon as I paid our food bill with a grim looking face, I stood up to her. We didn't say a word after we left the restaurant.  The sound of the car door that he slammed shocked me, what happened to him.

“dia that makes your mood change?” he started his attack. I just kept my seat belt trying to lift myself up.  “Rey..answer?”his tone began to get impatient. I don't feel the need to explain what he knows for sure.

“you want me to answer what?” I just stared at his fierce face

“oh.. so right? Because you saw him? Do I mean me to you?” I want to answer his question in accordance with what I feel now, but I know that the answer will hurt him later. “don't be silent Rey.” ah.

“I was just surprised because I didn't expect him to come, that's all” I tried to answer as calmly as possible.

“then why did your mood change seeing him? You still like him?”

“my mood hasn't changed since, do I always have to smile? You've known me for a long time and feel like I'm changing my mood?” time to turn things around. Mila knew how cold I was when I was in the crowd because I wasn't a talkative person and it was hard to turn my cold expression into a cheerful person.

“kamu.. You seem to change when you see him? Don't lie to Rey.. You still like her?”

“but. you..” ah.. I hate his behavior not wanting to give up this.

“Mila.. I'm still here with you, do you think I still want to be with him?” the real question I asked myself. While there watching Nayra come with another man made me ask – ask if I can accept this situation? That in fact I'm still with Mila instead of her, am I really just getting carried away in the past?

“you should move on from your past with him Rey. Because he has also been proven to forget you” I was silent with the words Mila. Have I not moved on? An event that has long since passed but only feels like yesterday to me. I started the engine and left the restaurant immediately.

***

The sky that looked cloudy blew the air that felt cold on my skin today. I sat on the rooftop sipping my cigarette slowly, looking around me that would soon turn into a cafe. I finally followed Nayra's advice to turn this rooftop into a cafe as proof of a project I had talked about with Mila and her family. Is that my main reason? I keep thinking about what I really want in my life? Somehow the memories of Nayra keep coming back into my memory this late –. Isn't it all over between us?

I pecked my cigarette then stood up as if staring at this atmosphere one last time. The place where I finally kissed Nayra after all these – years, and somehow it feels right, right, everything I felt for Nayra was a real feeling but I was afraid that I would hurt her more than I had ever done for her.

The clock in my hand pointed to the number 2 over 15 minutes when I got out of the rooftop and headed for the restaurant as my stomach started to growl of hunger. I was looking for an empty table when I saw Nayra talking to a woman who turned out to be my sister Rena, they must be discussing a wedding plan that the reception will be held at this hotel.

My steps slowly approached those who did not seem to mind the arrival of me who had sat between the two of them who were still busy discussing it. Rena expressed her wish recorded by Nayra occasionally suggesting some details agreed upon by Rena and they silenced me as if I wasn't here. the two of them arrived – suddenly stopped talking and looked at me in astonishment as the waiter put the food set in the form of rib soup, black pepper meat, and several other dishes that almost filled their table. Rena looked at me as if she could not believe my behavior, while Nayra just shook her head and laughed at Rena who was upset with me.

“you've eaten?” ask me while scooping food into my plate. Nayra nodded her omen already while Rena was still putting on her look of regret. Nayra raised her hand to call the waiter, she and Rena ordered a drink and put the bill on me, instantly make me who was eating was laughing almost choked because of the behavior of Nayra who pura – pura do not know what she did just now, he said, even Rena added her order with desert and cake – cake while looking at me annoyed at the interrupting conversation the two of them had.

They continued the conversation without caring about me stealing – and stole a glance at Nayra who was busy writing some details called by Rena. I eat my food while enjoying their exciting conversation without wanting to interrupt it, Nayra laughs occasionally out when telling her about her experience handling a wedding event not long ago. I don't know why I feel so happy when he's around me like he is now.

“sayang.. Why not take me for a meal?” mila's voice rang out behind me interrupting Rena's conversation with Nayra.

“don't you have a meeting earlier?” I said trying to remember that Mila was allowed to eat while meeting outside with people from the employment service. Mila looked at me as if she was misbehaving her behavior.

“hai..it seems like we have not been acquaintances before” said Mila raised her hand to shake hands with Nayra.

“Nayra.. “ replied Nayra briefly replied to Mila's handshake

“Mila.. Rayhan” girlfriend I want to laugh seeing Nayra's expression that is like holding back a laugh that she immediately covered with a nod of omens understanding Mila's intentions that look like animals that mark her territory. She must be amused because she feels Mila is too excessive. “oh well.. You guys are discussing what?” asked Mila who also began to sit opposite me prophesy Rena again put on a look of annoyance.

“discussing my marriage kak” replied Rena slowly trying to respect Mila who is less liked it.

“oh.. You wear WO what? You know there is a new WO that is again a hit, if it is not wrongly named Part Two” Mila trying to get into a conversation that makes Rena become very illfeel, Nayra awkward, while I want to laugh enjoy this situation.

“Mila.. Nayra is the owner of Part Two that you mean” I said trying to calm the enthusiasm of Mila who turned awkward towards Nayra and also Rena.

“hah..is not the owner the son of a famous architect in this city? Mr Sheh, Shah?” Mila did not believe what I just said then turned her eyes to Nayra who nodded her head as if understanding with Mila's intentions.

“Shah Sudirman? yes he is my father” said Nayra while smiling to clarify Mila's intentions which made her even more awkward.

“Mila.. we should go back to work” said I who had stood trying to save Mila from embarrassment already emanated in his face. “maaf already bothers you. Have nice day” I said saying goodbye to making Nayra shake her head as if in disbelief with the mess just now. Then they heard the sound of their voices talking again continuing the conversation that had stopped.

***

“you why not tell me what – is about him?” Mila opened the conversation as we got into the elevator.

“not last night you told me to move on?” I looked at the elevator button I had pressed.

“at least I know about her background” I sighed trying to muffle my annoyance

“if you want to compete, he is not your rival” I said trying to stop Mila's desire to bring up Nayra who will make me remember the past with him again. “if you want to know my past with him, you'll be heartbroken” said I walked out of the elevator leaving Mila towards my room.

“rey wait.. “ Mila is trying to catch up with my steps that are starting to move away from “but I just want to know what kind of person she is?” I stopped turning around to look at Mila in annoyance

“for what brings up the person you want me to forget?” Mila stops stepping looking guilty. “he was once the best for me, if that's the answer you're looking for. but it's all long gone, so be calm.. I'm not going back with him” I entered the room while slamming the door so upset.he had ruined lunch also a little time that I could enjoy looking at Nayra

which is no longer mine.

***