Only Bride Reserves

Leave him

Kezia Afsen

I'm sorry, but I still want a divorce with Rama.I don't want to be a backup for the rest of my life. Since my meeting with him at the hospital the other day. I realized that my heart refused to forget. So I decided to stay away from him. I thought about it before I left the country again. As for my pregnancy, I kept it a secret from Rama. I don't want to, my son is preventing him from reuniting with my brother. Let this be my secret and my family's.

Today is our second trial, I was intentionally absent. There are actually many other trials that I have to attend. I also refused when Rama proposed mediation. Intentionally, I only relied on my attorney to hasten our divorce. I won't be able to hear the judge's decision on our divorce. I won't be able to when the judge confirms our divorce.

Right now, this is where I'm going to get my life back. Without saying goodbye to Rama, I have gone far away. Leaving behind some memories of our marriage that are still corn-time. I hope he will be happy with the woman he loves. I will take care of our son, until he is born into the world.

Bali is my place of choice, even though I wanted to go back to England. Because of my pregnancy, my father and brother Adrian kept me away from them. As long as it's for your son's sake, I'll obey their will. At least I won't see Rama again.

I rubbed my stomach in which my heart has grown. Suddenly my tears just dripped without me being able to prevent it. How strong is my heart to classify all the sad things I continue to experience.

"Cry Zia, there's no need for you to take it anymore! Brother will always be by your side, deck," Adrian said.

"I'm tired, brother."Answer Kezia

Adrian immediately grabbed my body. Take him into his arms, as if in his chest I would feel comfortable.

"Don't hold it! Cry before you ask me not to cry again. Brother doesn't like to see you cry, this time brother will allow you to cry as much."

My cry broke and my embrace became more tightly wrapped around Adrian's body. The sound of my crying was so heartbreaking, it was heard directly in the ears of Adrian's brother. Which brother would be able to see his beloved sister crying. Except for sister Vania, the cruelest sister in the world.

"What's my fault, brother? Do I not deserve to feel the peace of my life? why should I be born, brother? why is fate so cruel."

"Hussst, don't blame fate, kezia.You're just tested, you're a strong woman who can go through even the toughest tests. Listen to brother's words, there will be a rainbow after it rains."

I nodded, after listening to Adrian's words. I am so grateful to have an older brother like Adrian. I immediately scattered my body back in the arms of Adrian.

"Thank you brother, you're always there for me, you're the best brother I have. You're like the guardian angel who always protects me."

I was so excited to hear all my brother say. He is a good man, whoever becomes his wife will be the happiest woman. I hope, brother Adrian will soon meet with his soul mate. At least I always pray for the good of the people I care about. I have never felt eternal happiness.

"Sleep zia, you have to take a lot of rest for your womb. Forgive brother if brother will rarely see you. But brother will send a personal assistant to accompany you."

I just nodded, because I understood, my brother is a busy man. He is a hard worker, he will not leave the office of our family relics from generations.

"Go back to Jakarta, brother! I'm fine here."

Brother Adrian nodded, he will leave after making sure my assistant comes to this house. A small house that is so beautiful and natural. I really like this place. A place far from the crowd, so it can make me think calmly.

"Sleep Zia, staying up late is not good for pregnant women" said Adrian once again, justifying my blanket and turning off my room lights. He went out, occupied the empty room next door. Tomorrow morning, he will return to Jakarta. Tomorrow morning, the housekeeper I promised my feet would come.

I guess, getting away from Rama can make me move on a little bit from him. It turns out I was wrong and I was too stupid to think so naively. Twice I stayed away from him just because I wanted to forget him. It turned out that God gave me a heart, enough for him to live in. Not allowing any other space for others to stop by. I admit my love for her is still intact and not diminished at all.

My love is sincere to him even though he can't repay her. In fact he was too loyal to sister Vania. It would be sinful if I forced him to love me. I don't want to force myself to love another man.

"The strong darling, mother will always take care of you until you can see the beautiful world. I'm sorry you separated you from your father. Later, if you have been born into the world, mother will introduce you to your father. Let me be happy with her choice. We can live alone, right?"

I caress my stomach is still flat, it turns out like this is like being a mother. At least there is peace in my heart. I can't wait to be born into the world. Imagine his face looks like me or Rama. Guessing the type of darkness of women or men. I just hope she's always healthy, and I'm always strong in my pregnancy.

I think my eyes are hard to close tonight. Not because my bed is less soft or less broad. Not because I'm not used to this place. But because, every time I try to close my eyes. Rama's shadow always flashed through my mind. The shadow as she hugged my body. The shadow that she kissed my lips and my forehead. The shadow when we fought even laughed together. The shadow when he bribed me and took care of me, when I was sick.

I thought those memories would make me a little happy when I parted ways with her. I was wrong and I was too stupid. The memories seemed to eat me alive for enduring the pain of longing. Rama, please disappear from my heart and mind. Can't you give me a chance to forget you. I also want to live without your shadow that always goes around my mind.

I just let my mind keep on staring at his face. I don't know when I can close my eyes. I don't know when his face keeps crossing my mind. I leave it until I fall asleep. Until I finally gave up. At the drowsiness that makes my eyelids more and more closed. Wading through the beautiful dreamland and make me happy.That dream will become real one day.