Only Bride Reserves

Evades

Kezia Afshen

I'm in Paris right now, on the Pont Alexandre bridge. The bridge is considered as the most beautiful and luxurious bridge here. A lot of people passed by me. As if they were living in their own world. Wouldn't care about anyone else around him like me.

On this bridge I was free to scream. To vanish my passing emotions from his battery. I squeezed my chest which hurt but did not look like there was any wound. It feels sore and bloody, but it has no shape.

I will no longer force a heart that is not for me. From the beginning of the marriage this was a mistake. I was stupid to love her too much. In the end, I was still the one who was hurt. I can accept when my husband loves another woman. I can accept when my husband is indifferent to me. Why is it so painful I feel. When we made love, she thought of me as Vania's sister. When he took my crown, all he thought about was Vania's sister.

Destroyed as broken as my heart at this moment.If others could see the shape of my heart. My heart is exactly like a broken mirror scattered and formless. I don't know if the shattered mirror can be back in one piece.

On this bridge, I want to end my life. I'm no longer strong enough to pretend to be a strong Kezia. The water under the bridge is very clear. Maybe if I died here, my life would look really pretty. My mind is dead-end just because of love. Even my eyes were puffy, as it was incessantly crying. Who cares about my crying in this place. Even people just glanced at it without sympathy.

Right now my position is standing on the bridge fence. All eyes that look are focused on me. But when my body was about to plunge down. My phone rang and saw a call from Adrian's brother. I immediately expressed my intention to commit suicide. I'm coming downstairs to open my phone. I answered the phone and it was Ram's voice that I found. Immediately without thinking long I turn off the ongoing chat. I'm not ready to talk to my husband. Don't talk on the phone, look face to face even if I can't. Not only turned off the chat, even my phone turned off afterwards. Because right now it's just the calm I want.

While peeking at my head that suddenly dizzy. I thought it was Rama's voice. Means Rama is currently with brother Adrian. Means Rama already knew my whereabouts in paris. I immediately went back to the hotel to pack my things. I'll make an impromptu flight to another country. I'm really not ready to meet my husband.

It took ten hours and forty seven minutes. Now I am in Japan sakura. As much as possible right now I just want to avoid Rama. Maybe here I'll feel a lot calmer. Maybe my husband is on his way to Paris. Or maybe he didn't want to look for me at all. It would be really sad if that really happened.

I am currently in a hotel in Tokyo. My body was so tired after such a long journey. I'm like a stupid woman who makes things difficult for myself. Just to get away from Rama.

So tired, I lay my body on my back on the bed. As my eyes began to shut, suddenly the shadow of the night reappeared. My eyes opened again, disturbed. Why when it is far away from him, still the shadow is always there. Unable to close my eyes, I finally turned my phone off. So many calls and dozens of incoming messages from Rama and brother Adrian.

"Where are you?" that is the message from Rama and Brother Adrian. All the messages from them I just opened without me retaliating. I was tired and my eyes were very sleepy. I lay my body on the bed. Unconsciously my eyes long closed.

When I woke up, I realized it was morning. That means, it's been three days since I left my husband. I want to enjoy my own time. The plan is, the day after tomorrow I will return to Indonesia. I've been thinking very well about my home. I better retreat despite the pain. Instead of going ahead get his heart but always get hurt.

God created people in pairs. Maybe Rama is not a soul mate of God for me. Love cannot be forced to love someone who does not choose it. Like me forcing Rama to love me. Rama's heart was only owned by my brother Vania.

I'll let you go, baby, come back to the owner of your heart. Let me just have memories of you. I would be selfish if I hurt the one I love. Love should not have. Enough I know, I loved you from the beginning to the present. Lord, strengthen myself for the next step. Before I could without him, I could without him.

I heard a message coming in on my phone from an unknown number. I opened the pean, instantly making me smile bitterly. It was Vania who sent me a message.

"How does it feel to be hurt by your beloved husband, my dear sister."

I just opened the message without even wanting to reply. So happy my brother saw me destroyed. His hatred for me never had an end. The beginning of Kak Vania hating me was when I was born in this world. It was me who killed my mother. For him I was the one who took the attention of Adrian and also my Papa. Without Vania knowing, I wouldn't want to be born if our mother had to die. If I can choose, I want to replace my late mother.

Without him knowing, he's more devoted than I am. At least he's felt a hug from mom. At least he's seen my mom's face. I was born with my mother's death. Never feel the hurt, look at his face I never did.

As for the attention of Adrian and Papa. It was all because of Vania herself. He who always hurts me, does what he wants. Since my mother's departure, sister Vania has become difficult to manage. That's what makes Adrian and Papa always angry with him. But not that he was aware of the mistake, he even vented it on me. He who always hurt me, he who always yells me is the one who hurt him. Because of the blood ties to us, I never avenged Vania's sister.

I wanted to hug Vania as a brother even once. Even though she hates me so much, I still love her. I hope one day that Vania will come to her senses.