Only Bride Reserves

First Trial

Rama Asher

Night has come, now I've been on the living room sofa welcoming Kezia's home.Open door featuring my wife with puffy eyes. Why are his eyes puffy, did he just cry. I approached and wanted to hold her body in my arms. But he held me back, instead he gave me a piece of paper that I myself had not read its contents. After giving the paper away, Kezia passed entering his room.

My eyes immediately widened wide when reading the contents on the paper. The divorce papers are in my hands right now. Don't ask me about my heart right now. It was like being stabbed with a thousand knives so I couldn't live anymore. Why does this all have to happen so fast. Why is it that when my heart begins to be engraved with his name, he wants to escape from me instead. Why is it so heavy and unwilling.

I haven't signed the letter, even though Kezia signed it. Don't sign it, my hand seems to weaken instantly. Is there no longer a struggle, am I really too late.

Our days went by without saying hello. Even Kezia was silent even though her hand was still preparing my needs. Actually I couldn't meet him. Because only regret I felt when I saw his face.

"Have you signed our divorce papers, sir?"

I only shook my head when Kezia asked. I have no more energy to sign it. Let the paper stay that way. I don't want to divorce her, I don't want to part with her.

"Some time sign it, from today I'll go home to my father's house."

"Why? why did you have to move, Kezia?"

"Because soon our status will change. Be happy, you will be better off without me. You will no longer pretend to love me."

No Kezia, I'm not pretending to love you. I really love you, but why is my mouth so hard to say. If you knew I loved you, maybe you wouldn't believe me. Remembering all my treatment of you all this time.

I saw that Kezia had packed his clothes and had the rabbi in his suitcase. I can only grieve and curse myself who can't do anything. What's with me? Why don't I prevent it. Kezia dragged her suitcase out of her room. I stay in the same place. I should have brought the suitcase back into his room. But my body could not move to deal with it.

"I'm going, take care of yourself, ma'am."

Arrrrkk, Keziaku left me alone here. I can only stand still without saying a word. I'm still in shock about everything that's happened. I'm like the loser man of the moment, who can only keep quiet without taking action. Is by parting will make Kezia happy. But as for my heart, will I really be lost.

In fact, tonight would be the first night of my loneliness without Kezia. I even locked myself away for a few days without going to the office. Digo my best friend is too busy taking care of your work alone. I need to be alone, I'm not ready to see the outside world. What else is tomorrow is our divorce hearing. I can't stand God, is this karma for me. Why is it so hard to let go of God.

"Why did you become like this, son? why do you have to split up if you end up hurting each other."

"This has been Kezia's decision, ma'am.Rama does not want to make him suffer at Rama's side. Sometimes, we have to let go of the dove we love in order to free him to achieve his happiness."

"But you love each other, why don't you just be honest with her, son?"

I shook my head, for looking at Kezia was the same as seeing my regret. Let me suffer his loss. As long as he can be free to achieve his happiness. Love doesn't have to have, I'm willing to let fate take control. If indeed we are a soul mate, the soul mate must meet. If I am not his net, let him find the best way for him.

The next day, I was getting ready to attend our first divorce hearing. I smeared a thin mustache that was beginning to grow. Anyway, I don't want Kezia to see my fragile face. As much as possible I will smile at him at the trial. So do I, want to see Kezia smile sweetly at me at the trial later. Let us part in a good way. At the beginning of the marriage, we were not so good. I have to be strong, all this for her happiness.

I saw Kezia who had just arrived at the trial. Just as I wanted to, she smiled sweetly at me. A smile I really don't want to let go of. In a moment, maybe that smile will disappear away from me. Why is it so painful and tight in this heart. As much as I can return his smile is no less sweet. I want to tell him indirectly, I'm fine Kezia. Despite that, I am very fragile at the moment.

After the first trial was over, I stepped my feet closer to Kezia whose face looked pale. I don't know if it's just my feelings or my vision is less clear. But Kezia's face did look pale. Is he sick? Or maybe it's because she doesn't wear makeup.

"Are you happy with this divorce, Kezia?" ask her.

"I'll be happy if I see you happy, mom."

"If I told you my happiness is by your side, would you believe it?"

I saw Kezia smiling, as if my words were nonsense. If he knew how I felt right now, but unfortunately I'm just a coward who can't be honest.

After our conversation ended, Kezia came back to me. At least I wouldn't worry too much, seeing her come home with Adrian. I don't know why I saw such an awkward thing about Kezia. I wonder if he is sick. Is there anything he's covering for me, as much as I can throw my mind away just now. But still, I felt something stuck to Kezia.

If I can choose, I want to always be around him. As for Vania, I haven't seen her in days. He also gave me no news. He should have been happy and met me when he heard about my divorce. I feel something strange about Vania. Should I investigate. Telling my people to find out whatever he's doing.

I have always believed in women who are still my lovers. However, ever since my people told me about him harming Kezia, I doubted him. I have been judging him wrong all this time. I have to find out before, it's not too late to investigate.