On A Stormy Night

32. Self Identity

While eating the dishes available, Damar thought about the words of the man earlier. He felt that something was wrong with his words. Is that man really just having an affair with his mother? How could his parents have said nothing all this time if it turned out that he was just picking up. There must have been two times. It's not there at all, is that guy just pretending to say so to get rid of it? He could have just said that so carelessly.

Damar continuously denied the talk saying that he was only a foster child. Actually, the information obtained comes from an untrustworthy person, does he have to believe in such speech? But after all he really could not turn his brain away from that thought.

Think they're going home, aren't they? Damar could not feel relief if he did not hear from the mouths of his parents . They must go home, they must. Damar doesn't want to delay until tomorrow. He wants to hear it immediately.

After eating, he went into the room. From the window of his room was a black cloud gathering. Looks like it's gonna rain tonight. The wind also seemed to be blowing very hard. After seeing such extreme weather, he looked towards the already tidied up items. With a strong determination he wanted to leave.

Maybe that way his parents can choose their own path. He felt that he was only a barrier to the happiness of both of them. Damar didn't want that to happen. After hearing the man's conversation, Damar became increasingly determined to leave the house he now lives in.

Actually it feels heavy to also leave this house full of memories, but how to where else? Not about that either, there are still other things that make it hard to leave. He cannot cook and wash his own clothes. It was actually natural, but he felt that his weakness would definitely pass him well.

Little by little the dark began to fall. The wind was getting stronger, the water that came down also came down rapidly. Lightning snatched away. His voice sounded deafening. Fortunately, the lights did not turn off.

After praying he went to the dining room, actually he was not so hungry but because there were both his parents were eating he followed him to the dining table.

"Tumben ate together," with a slight tease Damar sat on an empty bench. Compared to the word seductive is actually more appropriate when it is said to be insinuating. A rare sight seeing the two of them like that. Even though we don't talk to each other.

"Oh yes, when I've finished eating there is something I want to ask," without further ado he said so. This is not like him who always prioritizes the Krama system.

"If anyone wants to ask mending now," said his father.

"No ah, good later," with a mysterious smile Damar said.

"Yes, then" the conversation between them stopped there. Each one was busy with his own food.

"I'm both of you, right?" although the sound of thunder was earthy, or maybe the sound of heavy rain was heard so loud, it was all nothing compared to the question posed by Damar.

"Clearly lah. You're just there" replied his father.

"Someone said I was just a foster kid. Is the answer the truth?"

"Who said you were a foster child? who?"

"Jawab my question first ! who am I, son? Why are you all so busy with your own business? I don't want to believe it, only when I look at the current situation I don't think I should be here" Damar said . Damar's voice was not loud, just somehow it felt stronger than the sound of the stormy rain out there . He looks more emotional than usual.

"I'm sorry if we've been busy. But believe me, we love you. Yes, you are an adopted child. We raised you so lovingly. Your parents, we don't know. Your real mother died giving birth to you, while the man who was supposed to be your biological father no one knows for sure. Since you're inside he's been lost to the earth," while holding back a cry, his father said.

"We had just lost a child, so we ended up babysitting you like we were babysitting our own, your name is the name of our deceased biological child," his father Damar if from his voice he does not seem to want to say many more things. The woman who was there was silent.

"Regarding the grave of the mother who gave birth to you we have no idea. We didn't know each other at the time. All we know is that he said with great hope that we would accept you. Now it's up to you. It hurts to remember what happened, but that's the truth. I know you're lonely, I understand why you asked this and that," while holding back tears, the middle-aged man continued to say.

"Now I understand, sorry if I was being too rude. I'm really sorry," after hearing everything, Damar said.

"Not to apologize. It's not all your own fault."

In a stormy night, Damar finally finds out who he is now. For some reason, his plan to leave instantly vanished. The storm that hit continued, they entered into their respective rooms. What happened tomorrow happened, Damar somehow felt anxiety in his heart.