On A Stormy Night

21. The Long Night

Damar was silent in his room. The rain was still very heavy outside. While looking at the photo of his mother who was with other people it felt somehow painful. Even though he had seen it in person as well.

It seemed like there was nothing he could do but face the bad reality. It seems that it is just a matter of time for him to choose who to go with. A pretty hard thing for him. But if that happens, he feels he prefers to stay alone.

In fact, he had been thinking for a few days to escape from this house full of memories. Change his appearance drastically and live far away from them. I think it seems fun too. After all, wanting to run away or settle down does not feel much different.

She got a picture of her mother along with a man she took it secretly yesterday. At that time he was playing claw crane alone in a shopping mall. Who would have thought that fad made him meet again with his mother who was making out with the man who was with him at that time. This time it seems he is still not aware that Damar has seen it.

The days after the Olympics are getting quieter. Nothing is thought about very much anymore, no more lessons. All that remained was a sense of desolation that was already to be killed.

Her parents were still the same, it seemed like their response was just a mere formality. Why does everything have to be like this? Damar thought while trying to sleep. But it still feels so hard .

Lately he's been thinking about something far away. Seeing his parents being indifferent like that it feels like they are not family anymore for Damar. Because there is no more warmth, communication is also rare, do his parents also feel it?

"Ma, I missed that time. Why is everything so now? I'm lonely. Am I really the child you were never born with, right?" again in his heart he said.

"What do I have to do so you can be like before? Do I have to disappear to make you realize that I'm here?" it felt so sad he said inwardly .

He then took out a belt that he used to wear. He didn't know why, just spontaneously. Holding his belt, he thought it was time to end a life nobody wanted.

It feels like living with that loneliness is not good. It seems like not being able to breathe anymore is the right choice, but he would be horrified if he had to kill himself. He did not want all his worship to be in vain . But he was confused how.

He did not use his belt to end his life. Either way it's the wrong way. If he continues to do so, he will be tormented forever. He did not want to, enough in this world he suffered from loneliness.

The night is quite long. Damar couldn't close his eyes that night. His constantly torturous mind had been acting that way. Damar couldn't sleep until dawn. When the sun shyly shows himself feeling very sleepy but he forced not to sleep. Today the announcement of the results of the Olympics has appeared, Damar wants to know the results. Therefore yes still forced to leave even though he departed while yawning.