Not a Substitute

F3 Applying to Himself

“Once it's okay. If we eat well, we will be happy. If we are happy, we will recover quickly.” Sandra kink.

Jamie's still accompanying Sandra. They're watching a comedy show now. Jamie laughs.

“Seconds look handsome when laughing. Big Brother's smile.” Sandra remembered Jonathan. Sandra let out her tears.

Jamie's got tissue.

"Thank you, Brother. I'm Jonathan's keinget."

I don't feel like time has passed. Sandra's mother came and Jamie came home. 

“Thank you, Brother has accompanied me. Tomorrow comes again, yes.”

“Nak ..” Sandra's mother hasn't met.

“Jamie. My name is Jamie, Aunt.”

”Nak Jamie, thank you for accompanying Sandra.” Sandra's mother thanked me.

Jamie's coming home. Sandra and her mother talked about Jamie. 

“Where did you meet Jamie?”

“On the roof of the hospital.”

“Sandra, are you okay?”

Sandra's tears are dripping. He's not okay. Losing Jonathan made her fragile. Sandra's mother gave a tight hug to her daughter.

The day Jamie came again. 

“Kakak not working today?”

“I've applied for a job. I'm waiting for a call.”

Sandra was happy that someone was accompanying her in the hospital. It felt lonely because there was no Jonathan anymore.

“San, what are you sick with?”

“Tumor.”

“Can't.”

The atmosphere became silent for a moment. Jamie was confused as to what to say. If it is just a common illness like flu, a mild cough, a cold maybe he can say “May get well soon”. But what about tumor disease that can not be cured.

“I could die at any time. I am waiting for the angel of death. I wish the angel who took my life was as handsome as Brother. Let me die in peace,” Sandra said.

Jamie smile. “Should I die first so that I could be an angel of death to you?”

“So, don't talk weird. Words are prayer. I unplug Brother's remark.”

Sandra knew what happened yesterday on the hospital roof. He knew Joshua was about to bring himself down. He accidentally falls so that Jamie's attention is turned to him.

“The living want to die. People who are dying want to live. Sometimes the world is weird, yeah. Sis. Whatever the problem, brother. Whatever your concerns are. Never think of ending your life. Hell is full. Don't make it any more crowded. Where the fire is big there. Brother must be hot. The heat waves are more intense there. There is no AC in there.”

Jamie laughed at his stupid decision yesterday.

“Sister isn't crazy, is it? Did yesterday's accident make Brother's brain so tilted?” Sandra looked at Jamie who did not stop laughing.

“I'm still normal kok.” Jamie knocked his head lightly with his fist.

Jamie visits Sandra every day. He tells Sandra if he gets a job.

“Congratulations Brother. I'm happy even though I don't have anything else.”

“Let's break time, I call you.”

“Don't forget to also finish the first payday, Brother must treat me. I've been buying Brother a lot, we have to replace.”

"Yes. Aye." Yeah."

Despite her work, Jamie visits Sandra after returning home from work. He told me about his activities at the new workplace.

“There's a funny one today. My boss is a big, macho body. But he immediately shouted when there was a cockroach passing nearby. All who see laugh.”

*the boss Jamie is referring to here is Arman, Kai's father. The story can be read in section D.

Sandra and Jamie laughed again. Deep down, Sandra wants a normal life. Not just in the hospital.

When Jamie arrives again, he proposes to Sandra. Sandra wants to accept Jamie's proposal, but she knows she has many limitations.