My Holiness Lost on New Year's Eve

CHAPTER 1

"Please.. Please don't do this" my sobs are getting worse, but the man is getting worse

"I beg you not to do this" I cried one last time. In the end the man had completely lost control of drinking the illicit drink.

In the end, only tears brought me into a real life of suffering after the man I didn't recognize took away the most precious thing I had. The man robs with the heart as if something nameless.

Bastard indeed, even the word bastard is too good for him

He considers something meaningless to take abominably to leave a very painful wound.

After that he left, no matter how much more hurt. But believe me there is a grudge waiting to be repaid.

With tears soon put on the clothes and go from the place of this curse in silence, may no one see it.

.

"Acci .. Please don't do this"

With hunting breath I woke up from a dream that felt real but the reality was something real as if the shadow continued to disturb me into the dream.

With a blink of a tear that had soaked me was truly depressed. I took a glass of water on the nightstand.

The real dream came back to haunt me again, reminding me that the night managed to tear the d4d4 cavity giving me an unparalleled pain.

New Year's Eve, those three words managed to make my world feel like it's collapsing given the heinous events of that night.

"What's up?" I saw my mother's shady face come in and sit next to me

"Try to be honest with mom, lately you seem very sters, what's up?" asked the soft mother by rubbing my back.

As much as possible to withstand sobs but tears have been from earlier tourunya. Fortunately, this room has little light, making you unable to see me crying.

"There's nothing buk.. Maybe the soybean times" I replied slowly withstanding sobs so as not to come out, at least I had to be strong in front of mom. Although behind it is not unlike the weathered wood of hundreds of years ready to collapse. Well I'm catching it.

"Yasudah sana wudhu used to pray tahajud.. Mother came out first, not ready to tell the same story at least complain to the creator" mother came out as if to understand what felt by her daughter.

Sorry ma'am, this is too painful to describe with words.

A moment of regret suddenly came when my mother forbade me not to come that new year's night with my Selina Temen, but the rice had become porridge.

Arrived there Selina left me somewhere. I don't know the ins and outs of the dock beach it certainly makes my mind dead end.

Until finally a young man maybe his age invites me to sit in front of a bench that has closed.

At first just talk, also many young people mudi dating joking laugh. But the man kept giving me drinks but I refused subtly as he continued to drink them.

Until the atmosphere changed when the clock number showed 02.12 the situation began to quiet even the two lovebirds brightly light they kissed4n without shame when I knew they were not muhrim.

"Kok still silent, let's wudhu there" said mother suddenly came to disperse my daydream.

Bend your legs to the bathroom and turn the faucet until they race to want out.

There I shed tears as it happened, grabbed the hair violently until it fell out a few strands in my hand.

Lying, if they say crying can reduce chest tightness, the reality of tightness in my chest is more crazy.

Until I finally went back to the room to put myself in the blanket, it felt tired if just rested on the prayer mat like I used to do but life was getting more miserable.

The scriptures were still neat as if untouched for a few days, in fact I was lazy to read and practice my life had no direction.

Let it be dirty dusty because it is not swept away I feel dirty. Even if I go back to bowing down to the book day and night, what could change that night. New Year's Eve has taken a toll on my future.

Closed his eyes, but soon the dream came back. Making me cry without making a sound thankfully the distance between my room and my mother was quite far away. Until finally my eyes caught the thing on the nightstand. Looks like an exclamation cut my neck with it. Even if I die, revenge used to come back to me.

I laughed out loud.. That event has indeed made my common sense disappear even sad away from the creator.

I was not a child of religion but that night I was still wearing the hijab but why was the man getting interested.

But what I'm dirty as dirty as it is, I think the universe has always been unfair to me

From a small life without the affection of a father, working to support school and eating. After both me and mom were able but why did the problem come back without me knowing the way out.

Trying to shake my mother's shady face, I was already ashamed of my wingless angel. Ending life is the best way for me.

Goodbye to pain and shame...

Seriate.....