Mama Loves Me

I'm not stupid

Yep.. I'm so scared of mommy . Over time the feeling to make mamah love me again I was lost . I'm more like a donkey . Only move when there is an order . I was scared too . I don't want to be close at all or any story on mamah . I want the second grade of this Elementary School no communication with mamah even though we are one house . Sometimes I get punched in silence because of my father's mistake . I thought aunt mimi would help me . Even aunt mimi once kicked me in the stomach when I broke a glass while washing dishes .

Huh .. For I am not up to stress and crazy . I have absolutely no confiding friends or anyone to take shelter and complain about . It was just that time that I loved my father so much . Because I feel safe if dad's home . Mamah doesn't touch me if there's a father at home . I cried when my father was leaving the house . I knew very well that dad would be home everyday I cried and pulled his hand so as not to go . But dad let go of my hand . It's just that I never said that dad left I was always tortured.

Many things from my father's faults that made me the moons of mama . But there's one thing I can't forget either . At my school there were swimming lessons, and my comb was left there . Mamah was very angry when the comb was gone . Mom grabbed my hair and pulled it from the kitchen to my yard while yelling the same curse. And it hurt so much . In addition, many neighbors who passed by to watch . They asked what was wrong with me . But mamah answered “ regular , recalcitrant!!”. I was upset . Why don't you tell them all that I just removed the comb that you never used .

I'm a sensitive kid from childhood . I know very well the items that are often used mamah and which do not . Eat it I dare bring another comb . It was dusty at first . Before I wear it . I washed it first . I don't know why you think I'm such a dumb kid . Why do I look like a dumb kid . Why ? There are achievements in school, I never tell, I have sad, happy , I never tell . You know what mommy is about me ? Why do I still think I'm an idiot ?

*****

I'm in second grade Elementary now, my grades are greatly decreased . I, who in first grade was a smart child and liked to help teachers, now it is very difficult to accept the lessons into my brain . Once upon returning home from school, my friend who was one car invitation and one class with me invited me to play first before going home . I refused it . Because mama cut my pocket money especially if I don't save mamah will be furious . Just like I was given money stock just to hold it . But my friend ‘Tari’ (real name) said that given money by my classmate. He sent the money to me . I refused it . Rp.20,000,- very large amount at that time . I'm a careless child . I was afraid to lose it . But strangely she forced. I firmly refused and left the class .