LIKE I CAN'T SEE

CHAPTER 40 POV JOVAN AND KINTAN

Pov Kintan's.

Jovan drove me home. Jogging plan together this morning was not implemented because it turns out he woke up bad luck.

I called him several times and sent him messages. But there was no reply and a phone call from him. I'm panicking.

I deliberately went to his house early in the morning using an online taxi service because I was worried about the situation. Even though I came by asking her to accompany me to the bookstore. That's just my reason for making sure.

When she got home, my mother greeted me. Because he's not awake yet. Soon she woke him up and asked me to wait.

And I was able to breathe a sigh of relief finally after seeing her come out of the house greeting me. His body looks weak. His eyes were hinting at something. Something was hidden from him. "You sick?", I asked after seeing her in the doorway.

And he answered with the word just tired. I saw his face clingy. I have noticed for a long time. I know there must be something he's thinking.

I asked him again what he was thinking? Then he pulled my hand to ride his bike. Until we arrived at a park.

A pretty big and beautiful park in my opinion. I went to this park for the first time with him. And it turns out that's where, he incised the wound.

I still wonder why he brought me here? Until finally he asked me to sit next to him and I just obeyed his will.

Maybe because it's been a long time in the pendam. Jovan just got to the point.

"This relationship is better just to get here. I don't want to make you hurt any deeper" that's the first sentence he said.

I was shocked by the words he said. My body vibrates. I tried to hold back the tears that suddenly wanted to drip down my cheek.

Why is it so easy to say that sentence without thinking how I feel. Almost two years is not a short time. Wh why? What was? What wrong? So he asked like that?

"What's my fault Jo? Isn't our relationship all right?", I dared to ask while holding back the tears that would just come down.

He hasn't answered. He heard her breathing heavily. Then saying. "My heart is filled with other people Tan, until whenever I will not be able to accept you. Although I've been trying all this time", that's the answer.

The tears I was holding, just got away. My defensive fort might have been broken when I heard the sentence just now.

I read the next sentence he said. Until I finally knew she would never open my heart to me. He has closed his heart to others. For the one who is most loved.

I asked her who was the girl who managed to get a place in her heart? Even until Jovan thinks he's the most special and irreplaceable. Although the sentence was not spoken but I can draw conclusions. Unnecessarily he tried to open his heart to me all this time.

It hurts, disappointed especially. But strangely I can't be angry with him. Maybe I look like a fool who will openly accept it with open arms if the girl does not accept her love.

And now the pain is getting worse. Especially when he was driving me just quiet as usual.

Then he said this was the last time he would take me. I really don't accept it. I don't want him to just leave me.

Where can I be without him? Even half of my life I've given to her? Would I be selfish to keep chasing her? Even if the one being chased won't look at me one bit?

Until now I had no appetite and just locked myself in my room. I can't possibly tell my mom about my problem right now.

Because long time not opened. Mom finally gave up. I heard her step away from the door.

I know my mom is worried about me. But I memorized the nature of my mother who wouldn't ask me before I wanted to be honest with her.

Povjovans.

I sat pensively after driving Kintan home. It was heartless to see him crying while sobbing. Until it makes his eyes slam.

Even in front of his house, he was still sobbing. I was confused what else to say to him.

Finally this last time I delivered him was a sentence that came out of his mouth. Adding to her sobs was getting louder.

He really did not intend to hurt his heart. I just wanted to make it clear how I felt about her. So that he doesn't put much hope in me anymore. Even though I did incise a wound in his heart. The girl must be in shock.

I'm evil. Just explained to him at this time. After we spent a lot of time together. I cursed my innocence bluntly from the start.

From the beginning of entering the house, my mother came to me with various questions. Because seeing my face is so tangled. But I always answered there was nothing and I was fine.

In order not to keep asking, I deliberately contacted Dodi. Asking to meet him. Because at times like this I need my best friend who can understand my problems.

"Sir, borrow Jovan first! We want to play basketball", that's why Dodi pulled me out of the house. That way my mother will not suspect.

Even though we lied. It's true to go to the basketball court but just watch on the fringes. While telling the incident.

"Yes I know Jo. The heart of a girl who will not hurt if she suddenly knows the person she thinks is a lover has kept the name of another girl in her heart. And you hang on to her feelings for months and even years. You were close to him for almost two years! I hope you can open your heart to her. But in fact it can't" explained Dodi commenting on my story.

"But the decision you made was right Jo. Instead of later, the longer your relationship even the more pity he will" continued Dodi.

"Keep what's your next move? You're going to chase Jessy back, right?", Dodi asked me.

I nodded weakly.

"Come Jo! You must be excited. Remove all your feelings of disbelief" said Dodi encouraging. That kid knows my weak spot got Jessy.

I always felt less confident. Because my status was blatantly disapproved of by her parents.

But didn't it lose before the war his name if I just gave up.

Dodi seems annoyed by my attitude. I seemed to think long until I finally established myself to go back to chasing him. The rice has become porridge. I told Kintan my heart for whom. So wait especially?

Again sorry Kintan, I hurt you.