LIKE I CAN'T SEE

CHAPTER 39 KINTAN SHOULD KNOW WHO MY HEART IS FOR

Dodi was shocked by the sudden appearance of Amel's mother from behind. He saw a clock on his left wrist.

It shows the number 23.00 wib. "Jeez, is this really eleven o'clock? Sorry aunt did not realize", she immediately put on her jacket properly. After he let go while chatting.

"Dodi went home first tan", he said then kissed the hand of Amel's mother who was nodding her head with a smile.

"Yank, you still owe me an answer" he said to Amel while turning on his motorbike. Mama Amel could only shake her head looking at the two.

"Didn't Jovan know baby?", asked Mama to Amel as if she had any intentions. Who does not understand what it means, simple curiosity first yes. 😃😎

"Not yet mah" replied Amel with a headband.

At 00:00, it's midnight like everyone else has been sleeping well. Unlike Jovan who just flipped his body. Somehow thinking about the words of his best friend Dodi makes it very difficult to close his eyes.

Kintan is too good with me. Obviously loved me very much. Both of his parents were welcome never to look at me from what kind of family.

But my love is only for Jessy. Jessy, Jessy and Jessy. I don't know why this space in the heart has been fulfilled by him. And I don't want to accept Kintan with my fake love.

All the ways I try to forget it but it's always in vain. What do I expect from this girl? I don't know. Because obviously his papa forbade me from approaching him. There was no connection with the scholarship. But I'm just a creature that's not considered in his eyes.

I took out the box that I always kept in the closet neatly. A necklace of JJ's initials, I always wipe when this longing hit.

Why give this thing away if he never asks in the end? Why has he left until now he never told me?

Through Amel. Though he knew I had met Amel a lot since he officially became Dodi's lover.

These questions come to themselves in the head. It made me tired and finally closed.

Morning time.

On this Sunday usually after dawn I have gone jogging. Either go alone or just accompany Kintan. Even sometimes we double date with the couple Dodi Amel.

But look at this morning. Until dawn I had not revealed my nose. My mother had to bang the cupboard beside me because she was tired of waking up in a subtle way.

"Jo, MasyaAllah why not wake up yet? It's already nine o'clock", his yells that are starting to sound faint in my ears.

Slowly I opened my eyes. "Sorry Mom, you're so sleepy and tired".

"Oh Jo, Jo...What time did you sleep last night?", asked the mother.

"Jovan forgot Mak at what time" I said as I tried to collect my life that had not yet returned even.

"Hurry to take a bath there, Nak Kintan wait in front. Mother has told me to wait", said mother as she passed. Makes me move immediately.

Why is he coming home so early in the morning? I said as I passed carrying a towel.

"Sorry, long wait huh?", ask me out to see him. Why is it so hard to get this guy away from me.

"Are you sick?", she asked, looking panicked.

"No, just tired of being so bad luck".

"We should talk but not here" maybe it's time. I don't want to hurt this girl for too long by hanging her without certainty.

I pulled him up on my bike. Because he only used an online taxi when he came earlier. And it turns out some calls from him on my phone. Don't forget a message for me to pick her up in the front alley.

Set us up in a garden. The park reminds me of being hit by a blow from Bagas back then.

"Sit here", take me. I picked an empty bench on the edge of the park.

"What the hell is Jo? Why bring me here? I'll ask you to go to the bookstore to go home".

Gosh darn. This kid asking to be sent to the bookstore should be the same as me? He has a lot of girlfriends.

He immediately sat down beside me. "Tan, I'm sorry that I've been hanging up our relationship".

I took a deep breath and took it out slowly. Setting my heart from the possibilities I had to face if this child could not accept my decision.

"This relationship is better just to get here. I don't want to make you hurt any deeper" I continued.

"What do you mean Jo? Wasn't this relationship okay all along? And I'll wait for your readiness to accept me", he said.

"Can't Tan".

"Why can't you?", he asked quickly.

"Because in my heart there's someone else. And it turns out I can't open my heart to you even though I've been trying" said I who turned to look at him. I know this girl is crying. But he is still trying to toughen up.

"Who is Jo? Who is the one who managed to make his position irreplaceable in your heart?", he asked again with cheeks that began to get wet. He was sobbing.

"Sometimes you'll know for yourself. He was the one who thought I had Tan, while the others ignored me and didn't think of me. To me she's a fairy who appears suddenly to be helping".

I heard sobs louder. The girl's defense is broken. I grabbed his shoulder. "I'm sorry.", that's all I said. Maybe I'm evil. Just dare to explain to him at this moment. When we go too far. When he expected too much. And I gave her false hope just like that.

"You're a good girl. I was wrong Tan, had wasted a girl as good as you who could accept me for what your family is more. But I'm evil Tan, if it accepts you while this heart is not for you at all".

"Did that girl love you Jo too? Like I love you? Have you asked her?", asked Kintan inquisitively.

"If the girl doesn't love you, I'm ready for Jo. I'm ready to take you back with open arms. Although impressed I was like a fool, who pursued the love of a man whose heart is for others" he said again while continuing to cry.

Embossed a sense of unbearable. But I'm wrong to keep this for too long.

"You must rise Tan. Don't torture yourself. You deserve Tan's happiness", I said encouragingly to him.

Kintan kept his head down while sobbing. I let him lean on my shoulder. That will probably be the back of last time. Because after this, I hope Kintan doesn't come to see me again like the previous days we went through.

There is no friendship for men and women. There is only a feeling, a comfortable feeling then wanting to have.

If you don't want to hurt, talk. Tell me that you don't love. Because it's better to be honest in the beginning than to hurt him too deeply. And firmness and clarity are needed in every relationship (nie yha).

Hopefully it can be a lesson. And take the positives from their story.