Les Laches

Reminiscences

Afgar looked at a portrait on the album in his PC gallery, occasionally smiling to himself. The album contains photos of Tian from the beginning of meeting in a playgroup class. At the time, Tian was still living with Damian, his biological father who unfortunately never gave a father the treatment he should give his daughter. Just remembering the name makes Afgar's blood boil. Therefore, he shifted his focus to something else, namely his memories when he first decided to be close to a Titiana Hamada.

In fact, little Afgar has no interest in Tian who despite having beauty above the average of his classmates, still less beautiful than Hera, who, the daughter of an acquaintance of his father who is often invited when visiting at a fancy dinner at his home. Afgar had liked Hera when she was at an age that easily fell in love with beautiful things and attracted the attention. However, a state of affairs changes its preferences. From then on, her favorite girl was no longer Hera, but rather a little girl–who was in the same class as her–with adorable rabbit teeth and chubby cheeks. Tian.

The little story begins when Afgar is waiting for an invitation in class. On that day, it rained so heavily that his father's personal driver had little trouble picking him up because of the flooded streets. Fortunately, Afgar wasn't the only one left in the class. Tian, who was also late to be picked up, sat in a corner of the classroom while reading something from the book provided by their class.

At that time, Afgar thought that all the girl did was look at the pictures in the book. However, Afgar was surprised to hear a few words spoken from the girl's lips as she approached. Curious, Afgar decided to ask.

“You can read?”

The girl looked up. His round eyes widened as he stared at Afgar. Perhaps it was because he did not expect that the boy who had never interacted with him decided to open the conversation. After overcoming her shock, the girl nodded slowly then resumed her activities. Unsatisfied with the answer, Afgar sat down next to him and went along to look at the contents of the book.

“Door,” spelled Tian on a page featuring a picture of a brown painted wooden door.

“Window,” he said again and Afgar did see a picture of a glass window on top of that thick sheet of paper.

Tian turned the next page. “Meja.”

Afgar did not know the letters, but just by looking at it Afgar can already “read” the contents of the book read by Tian. Therefore, Afgar began to suspect that the girl was only pretending to be able to read. Finally, he tried to close the picture on the next page with his two small hands.

“Come read it again!” afgar's command as Tian threw a puzzled look at him.

The girl said without much protest. What Afgar couldn't do if someone treated him the same way.

“Seat.” Tian spelled and Afgar peeked at the picture behind his hand. Is correct.

“Kitchen write,” resume Tian. Afgar nodded back.

“Planet write.” Right again.

“Pe-,” Tian silent for a moment. However, while still spelling, Afgar precedes him.

“Eraser!” proud shouts.

Tian looked at him with his wide eyes. Little wonder, since when did the activity become a race. However, the smile on his face that appeared next made Afgar mute. In fact, the child Afgar almost thought he would hear an unacceptable protest from the girl.

“Who taught you to read?” afgar asked as she grew tired of the other books she had taken off the shelf.

"Mama" replied Tian.

Next, Afgar dragged the little girl to accompany him to play Lego blocks at will. This time, Afgar was superior to Tian. Even far superior. When Afgar managed to finish two toy cars from the colorful block pieces he picked up from the pile, he, Tian could only replicate the basic shape he made before finally giving up and stacking a few pieces of beams into a tall tower. 

At first, Afgar did not care because he was engrossed in his own toys. However, when Tian's pile fell–because his foundation was unable to withstand the weight that kept on adding–and regarding the toy made by Afgar, the boy's fist targeted the left side of Tian's arm. The girl gasped a little, but did not cry. Even Afgar was the one who was slightly teary-eyed as a teacher who was observing the two from afar rebuked his actions.

“Sorry.” The little girl opened her lips as Afgar refused to apologize despite being scolded by the teacher.

“Why are you apologizing?” ask their teacher whose age may have just reached the head of three.

“I ruined the toy Afgar,” I got scared.

The young woman, whom Afgar himself had forgotten her name, took a deep breath before explaining that no problem should be solved by violence. The woman then explained the concept of justice in a language that was as simple as possible so that it could be understood by two pairs of small ears who were listening to her advice.

“There are police who have the right to punish those who are guilty. However, not all mistakes can be reported to the police. There is something that can be discussed carefully before going to report to the authorities, especially before playing hands.” The woman closes her explanation while throwing a meaningful look at Afgar who can only look down.

“If hitting people can be reported by the police as well, Mrs Master?” tian asked right after the woman had finished fruiting.

Afgar immediately broke out in cold sweat. He knows who the cops are and what they do to the bad guys. Little Afgar could immediately imagine himself standing right behind the black bars, crying out the names of his father, mother, even brother.

“Hitting that how it used to be? If only because it is caused by a fight between friends, of course you can talk carefully first with your friend so as not to repeat his actions. And even if your friend was still repeating his mistake, you can first report to Mother or other teachers.” 

The woman explained with horror. It seemed, the contents of his head also thought that Afgar was what Tian meant. It's just that what he imagines is not an imaginative fantasy about a little boy who cries in clothes that say “resan”, but two parents who fight each other because of the instinct of those who believe that their children are angels and should not be blamed even though that is the fact.

“If hit him until he bleeds?” ask Tian again.

“Nobody is bleeding, Tian.” The young lady breathed a sigh of relief after finishing examining the girl's arm. He then pinched Tian's cheek in agitation.

“Not Tian, but Mama.”

The woman gasped. “Who hit?”

Little Tian did not dare to answer and only looked down listlessly. She flinched even though her teacher forced her to speak.

When finally their teacher gave up on questioning the girl and let the two play together. Afgar touched Tian's arm that he had hit earlier.

“This hurts?” he hesitated a little.

Tian nodded. Afgar was sad. He was not long-minded and only knew that the only way to vent his anger was to hit something or someone. The habits that start that moment want to change.

“Keep why not cry?”

“I've felt more pain,” replied Tian innocently.

“That hit, the same person who hit your mama?” Afgar asked again.

Tian was silent for a moment, before nodding slowly.

“Papu?”

The pause Afgar needed before receiving his answer was getting longer. After a while, the little girl finally nodded.

“Don't tell anyone. It's secret,” pinta Tian while stretching his right pinky finger.

Afgar nodded enthusiastically. He did not understand what a secret was, what he had to do to keep a secret, and what was at stake by the man who entrusted it to him. All he knew was that after he told his mother the “secret”, the secret spread quickly among all his teachers and the mothers of his school friends. A month after the incident, a young man who claimed to be Tian's father came to the teacher's room and took care of the transfer documents for Tian.

The girl cried as much as she said goodbye in front of the class. Afgar, who escorted him to the school gate, took the time to slip a home phone number in Tian's uniform pocket, asking the girl to call him as often as possible.

The girl called her from her public phone–so she admitted–and exchanged many stories about her life in a new place that was no better than before.

Tian told me that he was now locked up in his home and had to undergo home schooling. To make a phone call, he had to wait for his father to make a long trip abroad, because that was the only time Bella was allowed to go outside the house to meet her daily needs. It must also be escorted by the driver and bodyguard hired Damian to watch the movements of his mother.

Only mother. Tian himself easily slipped out of custody and called Afgar.

Afgar who was growing up finally realized the impact of his actions. However, he could only blame himself for the hardships the girl received. He no longer had the courage to ask anyone for help. Especially to his mother who only cares about popularity. Afgar is grateful he can still be in touch with Tian even after he admitted to the “dosa” he had done to the girl.

“Not your fault. You just want to help.” 

That was all Tian said after Afgar finished his explanation. Upon hearing this, Afgar again imagined the face of a girl who smiled sincerely at him even though he had seized his chance to complete the spelling of the word eraser. 

Since then, Afgar has vowed to search for the girl as she grows up. He wanted to protect the girl to make up for all her mistakes.

Unfortunately, his little ideals were dashed when the girl disappeared for more than a year. There was nothing Afgar could do to find Tian. There is no phone number to call, as well as a home address that can be visited.

However, just as Afgar is about to lose hope, the girl reappears in his life. At that time, his father invited him to visit an acquaintance who worked in almost the same field as him, architecture. That person is Adler. It was in his house that Afgar saw the girl back.

Afgar immediately recognized his figure despite almost six years without each other. Well, his round eyes that widen when surprised are not easily forgotten, or indeed his brain that does not allow Afgar to forget. To be sure, the meeting made Afgar's determination more firmly rooted. He wanted to make sure the girl was not touched by any man. In his eyes, no other man could be trusted to look after the girl other than himself or Adler, the man who saved the girl from the hands of the monster he unfortunately had to call the father.

Well, now there's Meda. Although Afgar did not know how to deal with his unsettled feelings since knowing that the girl he loved more than Zefani–his biological brother who was the same age as Tian– was dating the young man, he was, his logic reminded him that all he wanted was Tian's happiness. However, the more he thought that Tian's source of happiness was Meda, the more unsettled his heart became. 

It didn't take a smart person to know that his romantic feelings for Tian, who he had realized when they were teenagers, were still in his heart. That feeling never even disappeared as he thought when he decided to date Tian's close friend Safira. However, everything has already happened and as Tian said some time ago, there is no word “kalau’. Both are living in a new time.

Now, Afgar can only bear all the consequences of his decisions in the past. So, as much as possible, he tried not to regret his relationship with Sapphira who had already stepped in a serious direction. He tried to enjoy his company with his fiancee. Moreover, since the last fight between the two, Safira tried her best to turn out to be sweeter. He had to fight just as hard.

Afgar stared at Tian's photo for the last time before hiding the folder containing the photo and turning off his computer.