KUIKHLAS YOU'RE GONE

This Suffering Hasn't Ended (was I strong?)

I tried hard to face all this, trying to be strong and sincere to accept it. Right after I performed the prayer service isya I kept my promise to the house of Mr. RT reported the death of my son. It turned out that Mirna was right at the door when I opened the door

"sister Mirna, sorry brother. brother has been waiting for me a long time yes" I ask for condolences because I feel guilty

"ga kok sha, I just want to type the door eh first you open first. I am the speed of the day. If it is ready or we go to the house of the RT sir now afraid of kemaleman" he asked

"yes sister"

My sister and I went to RT sir's house immediately, we talked for a while and handed over my son's death certificate as authentic proof of my report. Mr. RT and Ms. RT also expressed their condolences for the passing of my daughter and gave a little advice that essentially I have to be patient and sincerely accept this destiny, he said, he also asked me where my husband was but I reasoned that Arya was out of town and had not returned. I don't want to indulge in the disgrace of my household because it's not one of the duties of the wife is to keep her husband's good name, that's what I'm doing now. After talking for a while, Mirna and I went home because it was a bit late at night, I am very grateful to Mirna and her family who always helped me.

"sha brother went straight in, yes, cape really want to rest first. You also immediately rest yes, do not think that the macem macem will hurt. If there's any news, brother is always there for you" he said before entering the house

"yes sister, Skali again thank you very much yes, sorry I always ngerepotin brother and mas Arif"

"yes, what's the matter, dear. Yes already let's say you first who enter after brother"

"yes brother, I go first, Assalamualaikum"

"Waalaikumsalam salam, soon sleep sha"

"yes sister"

I immediately entered the house, when the shadow entered and the memories flashed back filled my head. Not wanting to dissolve in sadness, I immediately took the water of ablution and performed the prayer solemnly to return to clear my mind that was confused after I continued to pray for my son's late home. Because of fatigue I ended up sleeping on the prayer mat with prayer equipment that was still complete attached to my body. In my sleep, it was as if I saw a shadow of a person and called me to wake me up. The extreme drowsiness made it very difficult for me to open my eyes, and byuuuurrr I felt my face wet from the water that touched my face. I was surprised, who could do this to me, did he not know I was so tired today, tired of birth and inner. After my consciousness was full because of the water flush earlier I saw in front of my eyes it was Arya mas who did it. "

By, you're home yet? I'm sorry I fell asleep after praying" I said

"You can sleep after the death of our son? huh! what kind of mother can still sleep peacefully when her child has just died!"

her boyfriend judges me

"sorry by, Umy was very tired, this is also the slumber abis prayer earlier. And for the sad news that Aby already knows the truth, Umy apologizes for not being able to take care of Dede well until this disaster"

"by, I'm telling you that. I'm sorry that Umy didn't take care of Dede until this disaster happened. But all this by, umy can what? Umy had tried as much and as much as Umy to give the best for our child, but the way of God is different, "he" more affectionately the same so that it was called first by Allah. The unit is also sad by, hit with this incident, which mother is not sad to lose her child but We must be sincere, God willing this is the best for Dede" I answered with tears explaining to him that what he was accusing of was not true

"Even, for whatever reason you may be, always feel right, bring religious pretenses. Now that Naya doesn't exist, sign it!"

he gave me a letter that I had to sign, I was glued. I know what this letter is because it is clearly in the title on it, but why should it be now, not 24 hours our son died, why is he this Setega, is there really no love in his heart? I was wrong with him until he was this bad to me

"what is this letter? what's for?" I pretend to be stupid

"foolish basics, village girl.it's a sign! before my patience runs out, I'm sick of seeing your stupid face!"

" o God, why are you? why go home straight away like this? indeed we can not say good either, is it my fault same you by?"

"what is it you? there are more, if you want to know. Don't ask any more questions, sign it! for a very long time" he forced me to go to the letter, holding my hand to do it immediately. But I insisted on not doing it, finally because I was annoyed with the order I did not follow, he forced the might that I was wearing to be released, in his servant my hair, he pulled, in the slap yes my cheek many times with such merciless force that it bled from the temples of my lips. Unsatisfied he smashed my head on the floor many times, in the stamp of the body of my tent and in his tent until I fell down. After he approached, gripped both of my cheeks violently

"if you insist on not signing, then I'll torture you with more than this, so before my patience really runs out quickly sign this, if you don't want to experience more oarah!" his threat.

Finally, with a weak body full of wounds and pain, I was forced to sign the divorce papers. "

o Allah forgive me your weak servant cannot maintain this household, father mother forgive your son for not being able to carry out your advice to always keep this marriage" I said in my heart as tears continued to wet my cheeks.

"from now on I'm talking about you, Alesha Nur Aisyah.We no longer have any relationship, from this moment my duty to you is complete and if we ever meet then I assume we do not know each other" he said to me. Finally the word talaq came out of his mouth too, a sacred word that severed our husband and wife relationship.

"why are you this cruel to me? why are you doing this to me? where was your sweet promise to always look after and love me? have you forgotten all our sweet memories? is it that easy to forget? is it because of that woman? the woman you fucked in the car this morning? so you cut this off to me?"

"hahahaha, you already know apparently, he did all this for him because this is his request, the woman I love so much. is satisfied right? I go, never seek my existence again, for I will soon marry the woman of my heart, if you dare to appear before me or him then I guarantee you will soon follow your son into the afterlife, keep that in mind!" threatened me.

After getting what he wanted, he immediately left again. Go and don't come back. My body was all crumpled, my head was very painful, my stomach and waist hurt from the stomping and kicking earlier. My body felt weak without energy, even just to wake up moved to bed I could not afford, finally because of the pain of birth and my mind is very much I can only cry lamenting my current state, I can only cry, crying until I felt my body lose consciousness.

"Can I breathe until tomorrow, O God? I hope that if you take my life at this time I can die in the state of Khusnul khatimah, Inshaa Allah I am sincere about all that is happening to me at this time" my monologue before the loss of my consciousness..