HUSBAND'S HEART

part 32 YEARNING (As a tear-deep sleep)

Various flower groups arranged nicely along the right and left sides. Hortensia hydrangea, water girlfriend, lily, dandelion, kana, chrysanthemum, honje kecombrang and orchid. Each of them poured out their colorful beauty and elegance. White, red, purple, blue, yellow, orange and pink.

The sea of hydrangea hortensia flowers attracts the attention of curly haired little girl. Running pulled the hand of a well-built man into the white flowerbed. Then her tiny body instantly floated as the man lifted her up high. Thrown up and captured by the man's two burly hands.

Screaming and laughing, "again... Buyaaa.. again. aaaah haha..."

The flower garden on this plateau is very spacious and beautiful, every day there are always many visitors. But somehow, why is this time so quiet, in a very bright atmosphere, Yuana can only see Nabila in her father's sling diving in a sea of hortensia flowers.

"Mas, Nabila...here, not there!" yuana exclaimed implying worry. Amar who currently looks brightly glowing in a shirt with no long-sleeved craters is bright white, lowering Nabila. Nabila cheerfully ran towards him.

Yuana was stunned, letting Nabila run towards her and hug her feet while the netra was fixated on the figure of Amar who was just silently standing up, smilingly looking at her. A deep look and a beautiful smile.

The same look and smile that Amar used to wait for him under the pergola of white roses just after the wedding. His face was getting brighter because the pinspot lights were on him when the hall lighting actually dimmed.

The warm gaze and happy smile that continues to linger on the frame Amar's face accompanied Yuana's steps along the wedding aisle. Who then greeted him and led him to the stage.

But when he was about to continue his steps closer towards Amar standing, through a stretch of red carpet.

She had a tiny face looking up at her eyes. Amar's shady smile was perfectly painted on the look of his baby.

Yuana rolled her eyeballs back into the middle of the white hortensia expanse, hoping to rediscover the same smile. But after finding the smile he was looking for, the figure slowly moved away and faded away.

"Mas! Mas Amar! Mas... don't go! Yep...." Yuana tried to run after him, but her legs were numb she could not move. He could feel the cold sweat begin to wash over his body.

"Mr... Sister Yuana," Rima's voice woke her up, "Mbak Yuana's nightmare again? Until it's soaked like this, Ma'am. Ma'am change clothes first, Rima take in a warm drink ya."

"Thank you Rim. water only yes," said Yuana while trying to move Nabila who slept on her stomach on her thigh. Apparently the numbness he felt on his legs due to the impact of Nabila's body in a long time.

"Well, Ma'am," Rima rushed to get warm water and handed it to Yuana who had changed her wet clothes with a long negligee. After making sure Yuana was okay, she went back to her room to rest.

At this time Yuana's room was quiet again, leaving behind the clockwork and the subtle sound of Nabila's breath as well as her sitting on the edge of the bed. Slowly he opened the nightstand drawer and took the photo album he had stored in it.

A month already the photo album accompanied his nights. Every time he woke up or could not sleep, the photo album was always faithful to accompany him. Sheet by sheet he opened each page of the album, displaying the last memories of his small family together.

A collection of photos taken and immediately printed while traveling together after the last holiday season, because during the holidays precisely Amar busy driving customers who rent his car to go on a tour. Photo albums are more dominated by photos of Amar and Nabila.

Usually the photos of their togetherness, just transferred to his laptop to be stored, but somehow the photos at a picnic to the park at that time were printed into an album by Amar. For memories he said at the time.

Yuana rubbed her cheek which started to get wet from the melt of tears. Picture after image in the photo album it further deepened the longing that he held so far.

"Mas Amar's... Yuana misses Mas... Yuana longs," he sobbed as he closed the photo album and quickly put it back in the nightstand drawer and rested in front of the nightstand. With as much as she could, Yuana leaned back and lowered her head deeply, trying her best not to let her cries disturb Nabila's sleep.

The more he held back the crying, the more he could not stop the crying. The longing he felt in the figure of Amar never decreases, the more the day deepens. There was nothing she expected right now, other than the warm embrace of her beloved husband. But that is an endless dream.

On this lonely night

I myself no one accompanied

I finally realized

He has gone

Leave me alone 

Is it all repeated

My love story is like before

Only you I love

And I remember

In my heart

It will never disappear

Shadow yourself

For ever

Why it happened to you

I can't believe you're gone

Should I go

Leave the world

So that I can

Meet you

(My love story, Peterpan)

 

"Astaghfirullah's... Astaghfirullahal´adzim," realizing that his sadness was already excessive, soon Yuana took the distinction. She did not want her late husband's longing to turn into niyahah, an endless lamentation.

As much as she could, Yuana tried to get up and remove the trace of tears on her cheeks. Rushing he went into the bathroom to clean himself and was about to take some water. Intentions wanted to pray the night as he usually did, but he paused, given that he was in a state of puerperium.

The wall clock shows the time at half-time three over seven minutes. Half an hour earlier than usual he woke up for the evening prayer. For him the last third of the night was the most contentious time between himself and the Creator. Because Yuana could not pray, she spread the prayer rug and gathered, grabbed the prayer beads on the nightstand and began chanting the dzikrullah sentences.

Those are the moments where he can pour out all his feelings, shed all his complaints, and crave himself completely to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta´ala. In the same silence, he expressed his longing for submission to God. A confident surrender is reciprocated by strength and patience and a sense of sincerity.

To heighten the longing by sending Al Fatihah repeatedly to the late Amar rohimahullah also for his parents.

"Rome... Rima, it's dawn. Pray first!"

When I heard Adzan sayup-sayup, he immediately got up and went to Rima's room to wake her up. Rima, although he is a child who is diligent in carrying out his work, but to perform prayers is still windy. But Yuana is not discouraged always remind Rima to pray five times.

"Yes, Ma'am," a lazy voice rima answered Yuana's call earlier.

"After prayer, this catetan love to mbok Sari ya. Sister Nisa pingin learned to cook rawon said."

Answered a smile and nod by Yuana. Rima who was originally lazy to wake up suddenly turned excited.

Since living in the pavilion, it could be said that Yuana never entered the main house again, even if just to chat with Annisa. Besides because he has been bound by a contract to stay in the pavilion, also to maintain his dignity during the iddah period. Wouldn't the main house meet some guy who wasn't the mahrom? His only contact with the occupants of the main house was Rima.

After waking Rima up, Yuana returned to her room to see Nabila who was still soundly asleep. She took an instant headscarf and put it on, took a sketchbook and moved outside the pavilion.

On the eastern horizon a yellowish-red tinge of light dominates, revealing the silhouette of the peak of Mount Semeru that can only be seen in the morning. The originally dark sky, slowly gradually became purplish, giving a little light to the garden surrounded by walls as high as the top of the head.

While observing the surroundings, Yuana sat down on the lounge chair on the right side of the pavilion terrace. Opening the sketchbook on the last page he made a scribble. Pick up the pencil tucked into the page and start inserting the end of the pencil on the blank page afterwards.

Drawing a horizontal line copy the shape of the wall fence furthest away, then the cross line on the right and slightly curved on the left. Continue by making fine lines accompanied by arrays that describe the hue of the horizon above the horizontal line earlier. Not to forget the silhouette of the top of the mountain which is in the middle of exactly, he copied it also in his sketch.

"Subhanallah, what a beautiful creation You are, O Allah," he murmured.

Then move to make a streak below the horizontal line earlier. It is not so detailed, just the outline, but enough to describe the current condition of the park. Landscape garden that seems to be done by professionals, it's just been very long unkempt. And what Yuana likes the most is the wall fence that excommunicates the beauty of the park.

"Huuff."

Sighing, Yuana closed the sketchbook and then moved into the pavilion opposite Rima who was about to go to the main house.

"I'm sorry to go inside first, Ms. Yuana," said Rima, which she meant inside was to the main house.

"Don't forget the catetan yes, the same please convey to Annisa ma'am if today it is a rawon cooking practice," replied Yuana after nodding her head.

After Rima disappeared behind the iron door connecting the pavilion and the main house, Yuana went inside the pavilion. Then sit down on the sofa facing straight to the entrance of the pavilion.

Indeed he is in a state of confusion at this time, did not understand at all what the purpose of Ms. Fatma gave a task that he did not master her knowledge at all. Even asking him to call the architect if needed? Shouldn't it be an easy thing for Ms. Fatma to call directly an architect or professional exterior designer, why instead give confidence in her newly known self?

Yuana massaged her temples to reduce the dizziness she suddenly felt, then looked up and placed her head on the back of the sofa.

One minute...

Finally he took a deep breath and exhaled it hard.

"Hooft!" shaking his head for a moment and then straightening his body, turning on his phone and typing something on a search page.

Steps to design a flower garden landscape.

There are several article titles about the steps to create a variety of outdoor parks with various examples of garden photos. Yuana seriously read some of the articles and noted some points that she considered important from the articles. Then summarize it into a few outline steps that he must work on.

"I can do it. I should!" suggest to feel optimistic about his ability to complete the task he is carrying out now.

However, Fatma's decision to give her a job was very helpful to the needs of Yuana and Nabila at this time.

Doesn't he need a place to stay when the rental period at Martha's mom's house is nearing its end? Doesn't he also need income for the sake of his survival and his son? Doesn't he also need other people who can always support him as a family?

And all he can get from the good of the family of Fatma. Decent living quarters, sufficient income and a warm and supportive family.

A trust he has received since signing the cooperation contract

it is worth it to take it as well as possible.

"Mother."

"Assalamu´alaikum."

There was a simultaneous sound from inside the room and the entrance. Apparently Nabila had woke up along with Rima who came carrying Yuana's order followed by Azyan who walked while jumping small.

"Alaikumussalam wa rohmatullah," Yuana smiled back at the greeting, "bet the kitchen yes, Rim," he continued when he saw what Rima brought.

Azyan followed Rima's steps towards the kitchen, while Yuana went into the room to meet Nabila and bathed her.

A few minutes later, after Annisa came, they gathered in the kitchen.

Annisa cut into pieces of meat that has been boiled before, Yuana breaks the kluwak fruit to take its contents as the main ingredient of rawon seasoning concoction, Yuana, while Rima seemed to rub the tip of the chayote that had been cut to remove the sap.

While Nabila and Azyan play puzzle box in the carpet expanse of the front middle room of the kitchen exactly.

"Rawon manisa is his favorite ummah, every rawon cook must be mixed with pieces of manisa," said Annisa when continuing to cut chayote that has been peeled and washed by Rima.

Hearing Annisa's words, Yuana fell silent until she was clearly talking at that time.

"How about When, Deck?"

"Alhamdulillah has gone down the fever, Mas. Sorry Yuana didn't have time to cook, all day long when the fever, fussing continues."

"Yes, gakpapa. It's already buying rawon, you eat. mas want to take a shower first."

When Yuana moves the wasps into the pot to be warmed back up, Nabila wakes up and asks for a meal. Maybe he was hungry because of a fussy day because of post-immunization fever, he finally ate with his greed.

"Sorry Mas, this is the sauce.The meat is spent Nabila."

"Alhamdulillah If you want to eat. It's okay, Dek. it's still a lot of sauce, just enter with manisa souvenirs from yesterday's mother. There's still, right?"

Amar who had just finished praying isya' approached Nabila who had just drank water and then carried her. Nabila also sank spoiled in his father's chest that continued his drowsiness.

"Manisa? Oh.. Siamese pumpkin, there's still Mas."

"Yuana... Yuana!" annisa's voice rippled her daydream, "that's why it's so long ago mblender the spice."

"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry" said Yuana who immediately turned off the blender machine while rubbing her wet cheek without her noticing. Without looking at Annisa, Yuana then poured the fine seasoning into the pan and sauteed it.

"Must remember her late husband again, Ma'am," Rima whispered to Annisa who was staring in astonishment at Yuana.

"Is that often?" Annisa also asked in a whisper.

"It's very often Mama. Like the word, yes Mbak. mbak Yuana was like sleeping with tears," replied Rima still with a soft whisper.

"Kasian Yuana, I will definitely not be able to be in her position. May he always be patient and strong."