Father's Choice of Sort

Heartfill

" Want to eat ? " Rose Alfian to Sandra that night.

" No, I'm still full." Reply Sandra who was watching a television show.

" mm, um....Can I talk ?" Sandra asked, taking her eyes off the television.

" Of course it's okay, baby, time can't talk husband alone." Said Alfian who faithfully accompanied Sandra watching television since this afternoon.

" Mm... But, I promise not to be angry ?" Ask Sandra to make sure first.

Alfian furrowed his brows in confusion.

" It depends..." Reply Alfian then.

" Yes, I haven't spoken yet, I've spoken so.. Males.. Not being a." Said Sandra while pouting.

" Hehe... Joking darling.....What the hell are you talking about ?" Alfian asked with a chuckle because he saw the face of his wife who actually looks adorable when she pouted so.

" But promise me you won't be angry." Repeat Sandra.

" Yes-yes... You won't be angry. Tell me quickly..."Pinta Alfians.

Sandra breathed out slowly. Then start talking slowly.

" Mmm, I don't believe that I love you ?" Ask Sandra lirih.

" What ? Don't try harder, dear..." Pinta Alfian who was lacking heard clearly.

" Mm.. Can you believe that I love you the same ?" Sandra asked again.

Alfian looked at Sandra's face fixedly.

" Why suddenly ask like that ?" Alfian asked back.

" I just asked you... I can't believe it's the same with me." Sandra started to show her sad face.

" No, it's not that.. I, I, I believe." Alfian said a little.

" gr... The face shows the opposite." Sandra.

" Why ? What makes you unable to believe if I really love you ?" Added Sandra.

Alfian let out a long sigh then shook his head.

" Does this question have anything to do with Gilang ?" Ask Alfian.

" She, I asked since then, but I didn't answer but asked back.. I beg you mas... Just answer my question...!" Sandra said pleading.

" In addition to love, a relationship must also be landed by a belief. Is it hard to trust me ? Is it hard for you to believe that this self only loves you one and only ?" Sandra asked as she stared at her husband's face intensely.

" Is it in your eyes that I'm still like a little girl who doesn't have a stand ?" Sandra continued to shower her husband with questions that had been stuck in his heart.

" It's not so dear... I want to believe, it's just that this heart is too afraid to lose you. That's all." Reply Alfian.

" That's not the answer I want to hear. So it's true... I don't believe in me either. I have fully believed in you. What's the point of being married if we don't trust each other." Sandra said.

" What do you mean talk like that ? You want to separate from me again ?" Alfian fast. Unconsciously his tone had started to rise again.

" Don't be angry.. I promised you I wouldn't be angry. Who wants to split up anyway ? I just want to talk from heart to heart so that there are no more obstacles in the heart, either in my heart or in your heart. I just want us to trust each other so that our households don't falter easily." Sandra said.

" I love you, I love you... I can't tell you since when I felt it.. Because I myself do not remember for sure since when this heart loves you. To be sure, there is no intention in me to betray you. Even if it was with Mas Gilang. So please, please....Don't keep thinking bad about me and him. Please, trust me." Sandra.

" Are you saying all this for the sake of protecting her ?" Alfian asked who still remained unconvinced. From her tone Sandra already knew that the man in front of her was now holding back emotions.

" Well... It has nothing to do with Mas Gilang. Mas Gilang is just a parable. I have no intention of betraying you with anyone. How can I do that when I love you so much ? Why do you still doubt my love ? We've talked about it over and over again. Even I've explained if I accepted your love not because of anything else that happened between us. But because this heart purely loves you..." Sandra.

Alfian, who had been listening to Sandra's words, began to look thinking with a face that could not be guessed.

" Do you think I'm too possessive ?" Ask Alfian then.

" Are you bored with me ?" Alfian asked back.

" Athaghfirullah ?! Can you think so ? I just want a trust. Don't go anywhere." Sandra said firmly.

He could not figure out why Alfian was so good at business but not good at talking about their problems. Though Sandra just wanted to be understood a little, wanted to be given a little space and given confidence.

" Oh yeah, I'm tired... I'm just gonna go to bed. I don't want to fight anymore." Sandra said, standing up to go to the room.

But Alfian immediately withdrew his hand, so Sandra sat back down beside him.

" Give me some time... Sorry if my love made you difficult. I might be able to trust you. But I can't trust Gilang. " Alfian said beginning to explain his heart.

" Mad, this isn't about Mas Gilang !!" Sandra's getting upset.

" Please give me some space for freedom... Give me a little confidence. The trust ! In a relationship let alone a marriage, trust is very important. And that trust covers a lot of things. It's not just about that."

" So you think all this time I've been curbing and restraining you, is that it ?"

" I didn't say it like that. Never mind, I'm tired and don't want to fight." Said Sandra who was disappointed because Alfian was convoluted.

" What do you mean ? Tell me what I'm lacking for you Sandra. You want to be friends with anyone I don't forbid, you want to open a business, I grant it."

" I know you are, but you press me too much with suspicion and jealousy. I can't go anywhere I want to, I can't be like my friends who can go anywhere they want without anyone quietly following. I know you always tell people to watch me if I go outside.. It's all because you don't trust me ! I, have you, you, you are forcing myself too much to just think about and care about you !" Sandra said annoyed.

Alfian clenched his jaw. As her father said, she should be able to control her emotions.

Alfian then forced Sandra to look at his face again. Sandra wanted to dodge but Alfian kept forcing. In a fit of annoyance, Sandra looked back at her husband's face.

" In your eyes, what kind of husband am I ? Husband who is a lot of organizing and forcing ? Who is jealous and angry ? Is that what I am in your eyes ?" Ask Alfian.

Sandra couldn't make a frown at Alfian's face that was turning red.

" So, you promised you wouldn't get angry..." Sandra said softly.

" **** !" Umpat Alfian was upset.

" I'm not mad at Sandra, now answer me. Is that what I am in your eyes ? Can't you think from my point of view as well ? Yes, I admit, I'm jealous if I see you still meeting Gilang. I admit I often ask my people to keep an eye on you while you're away from my surveillance. I admit I manage you a lot, can't be like this or that. But can you think that's how I love you ? That's how I protect you ? I'm jealous because I don't want you to be close to anyone but me ! I'm watching you because I'm worried about your safety. I set you up like this and so out of fear of something happening to you !! Maybe you think I'm too possessive and selfish. But for me, all that I do is because I love you so much... Very...!" Alfian said sharply.

Sandra looked at Alfian without blinking. She did not expect that was what Alfian felt and thought.

" Creditation... ?? How can I trust you when you ask to be separated from me ? How could I believe it because you used to like that guy better and hate me so much ! How can I believe that while you, you even take the contraceptive pill to not get pregnant while I am your husband. Tell Sandra, how can I trust you while you continue to defend other men and as if to blame myself for my attitude ! I just want to protect what's mine..I don't want to lose you because I've lost someone I love. I've lost my mama, and I've lost Rena to my career and other men. What's wrong if I'm currently struggling in my way to keep you by my side ? I love you so much, it's even bigger than I've ever felt before. I'm afraid of losing you... I'm afraid of losing you, Sandra !!" Alfian said as he held the clear granules in both corners of his eyes.

Sandra was stunned to hear her husband's explanation. She did not expect that deep Alfian felt for her. He did not expect that that was the reason why Alfian always did as he pleased. Sandra looked down in embarrassment. Her tears could not be weathered anymore because she was moved to hear the confession from her husband.

Alfian then hugged Sandra into his arms. Both of them were crying in their minds.

" I'm sorry if I'm too hard on you. Sorry if you think I'm holding you too tight. I'm sorry if my attitude has made you uncomfortable. And sorry if I'm being too selfish." Alfian.

Sandra shook her head in Alfian's arms.

" I'm the one who's sorry... I misunderstood you a lot. Again, it is I who cannot understand you. I can't think far, but everything I do is good for me. I'm sorry.." Sandra.

Alfian pushed Sandra's body slightly, then wiped away the tears flowing down his wife's face gently.

" Oh, let's forget all this. Yesterday we promised to start all over again." Alfian comforted Sandra.

Sandra nodded weakly then re-hugged her husband's body.

Alfian returned the embrace with pleasure.

Slowly, Alfian cupped Sandra's face then kissed her lips gently. Long Alfian kissed Sandra's lips, then began to switch to another place. Sandra closed her eyes and relished every kiss and gentle touch from her husband.

" Are you healthy ? " Bisik Alfian wanted to make sure first before continuing his activities. He doesn't want to force or hurt Sandra anymore.

Sandra smiled and nodded. Seeing his wife nod with a seductive smile. Alfian immediately carried Sandra into the room and continued his activities there.