DRIZZLE IN THE EYES OF THE HEART

eps. 18

I tried to contact Al but there was no reply, I tried to go to Al's house and knocked on his door many times until someone came to open the door for me.

He's Al, I'm happy he's okay and my guess is wrong if anything happens to him.

"Amel, what do you want to come here? Al asked, I also once forbade you to come back to my house."

"But why Al, I'm your boyfriend, is it wrong if I'm worried about you? I asked."

"It's not like that but, Al's speech was cut off by the woman who suddenly came in the middle of our squabble."

"It looks like I've seen this woman, who is she? I asked."

"He was my friend from Germany, his name was sherien said Al."

"I thought you were wishing for me, I believed you would never wish for me because you love me too, right? I asked to pretend I didn't know if I actually knew who the girl was."

"Yes you are right, said Al."

"I'll go home first, I said."

"I'm sorry mel, I know for a fact that you're jealous and hurt but you're hiding that, you're hiding that, you're a really kind girl and I don't deserve you because I'm a guy who has hurt you over and over again. Someday you'll get a much better man than me."

I stood on the fine sand of the beach stained by my tears. I don't know where else to go but to this place, the vastness without someone makes me a little calmer.

"Do you know that a single tear dropped, you came to give a wound and the clouds came pouring down the rain, enough to complete my life. A cloudy sky will not bring stars and will only bring darkness."

"Could it be you who will become the dimmer lamp of love and die in my heart? This heart is dark, it goes without light, and it's somewhere it's going to dock."

"God brought you to me, to give me happiness, you not only came to grieve, hurt and hurt me and vanished into sight again."

*****

"Should I have realized it before I actually felt it, heart? of love? All hurt and left behind a trace of memory in me."

I don't understand Al changing in relatively short time brackets, Al is now always setting me back home and even he's taking me to a random place I didn't expect any of this. Al gave me a teddy bear with the same color as the shirt he wears now, and a flower he gave me.

Al took my hand and walked through the garden filled with flickering lights. And also we cycled in the middle of the night blind, carrying my body on his burly back. Due to our fatigue resting under the pohan, I will not let go of this moment in vain.

I took a cell phone in my rabbit-patterned bag, and I took a picture of Al folding both hands to his chest. And for the second picture he already knew I was photographing him secretly and he raised two index and middle fingers on his cheeks, we also photographed the two in their own silly style.

After we returned home, Al met Kely and also dion at the cafe where we often gathered without my knowledge.

"Tomorrow I will go to Germany, and Amel has not known all of this, I ask the two of you to keep this a secret, pinta Al."

"Kely right, enough has been amel suffering all this time, said Dion."

"Please, help me one more time, said Al."

"All right, we'll help you, Kely said."

*****

Not long after that day Al came back to tell me nothing. I went to Al's house and knocked on his door, his house seemed deserted. Someone looked at me and asked.

"Who to find? Ask the guy."

"I'm looking for Al ma'am, I said."

"It's a pity that the owner of this house went to Germany a few days ago, he said to continue his education, the mother said."

"Oh so, mother, said Amel."

"Wait, what's your name? Ask the mother."

"My name is Amel ma'am, said Amel."

"Son, wait a minute, this is a seat from Al for amel, said the mother."

"I opened and read the letter from Al."

january 18, 2016

I said thousands of pardons to you, although I know you want one apology that comes out of my lips directly but I can't.

My lips and tongue feel stiff. I'll come home to Indonesia to see you after my school is over, I know you keep a hate on me, hide the words if I'm the wrong guy for you, I know, and I'm amazed at you for still sticking with my attitude towards you.

Take care of the doll that I put on you and maybe you don't know that there's a button on the chest and you'll listen to my apologies. See you, owner of the heart.

Greetings, greetings,

Al Gaffar Ghozali

Again this is how you hurt me, and then should I bring you back? And if you come back, what will I get back?

*****