Colour

Chapters 11. Dictated

Confusion is something I've been feeling lately. To be upset I thought it was meaningless, it all happened. Plus I wasn't ready either outwardly and inwardly. I haven't even been able to meet the needs of my sister and grandmother in the village.

"You tired?" I asked the girl who was my wife this week. We just arranged the apartment that Aza used to occupy. Items that were once only for one person had to be changed for both.

Mr. Hendri still gave us the house as a wedding gift. But I chose to stay in the apartment, for the sake of self-comfort and so that Aza did not feel depressed. Luckily, the girl was able to work together.

During the week we were in a relationship, we never had any discussions about this instant relationship at all. Because the focus is on the recovery of Aza's health. I hope the girl regrets her decision to marry me in the near future, so that the annulment of the marriage can be done. Because it would be detrimental to him if there is a divorce at this young age.

"Two more weeks of college will begin, if you need help, you can talk to me." I pat Aza's head slowly, the girl just silently nodded stiffly.

"What are you going to eat tonight?" Ask me, the girl looked at me strangely, I don't know if I can interpret her.

"Whatever." Then the girl stood up and went to the room, so I relaxed for a while.

15 Minutes passed...

The fresh aroma of Aza's signature coffee soap wafted out in the room, entering my sense of smell. The girl was still wearing a thistle-colored bathrobe, making another impression of the girl. Usually the girl's clothes were not far from dark impression.

"I'm taking a shower too." Now I'm the one who left the girl in the room.

It didn't take long for me to clean up. Aza is really a perfectionist, because this girl's apartment is really neat and orderly. We didn't even take long to arrange the room to fit the two of us.

The girl sat on the sofa pillow she used to wear, staring at the tall buildings that look close from this height. I went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Living as a first child and having a younger sister made me have to be versatile, to relieve the work of grandmothers who have started to get sick since I entered junior high school.

"Tonight we'll have soup, do you mind?" Ask me as we sit face to face at the minimalist dining table. He nodded in response.

"Ehmm honestly, do we have to be this strong to talk? If you feel comfortable like this, it doesn't matter. It's just that we won't be together for a day or two, we need to get to know each other and get along." My refute while staring at the flat face of the girl who looked down enjoying her dinner.

"You enjoying this relationship?" Ask her, I see her clear hands clutching tightly to her tablespoon until the fine veins appear.

Trying as quietly as possible, I had to earn the girl's trust so as to no longer put me in trouble.

"You alone?" The girl's gaze turned sad.

"They're not my brother," he replied flatly.

"All right, as you please... You know as hard as you can resist them, I think you're the same as them. When near you I am forced to obey, as if the scent of money and treasure you have can buy people's pride." I was stunned as the girl smiled faintly, more impressed with the grin.

"And you feel your pride is bought by them?" Ask Aza to me, how could I possibly answer her.

"I wish I could go far away from Kusuma. Unfortunately no matter what distance I create, my legs stay chained." I know that feeling, I can't say that I understand because I didn't experience it myself. All I know is we're all fighting to survive.

What was different was the way we dealt with her, Aza chose to run away and avoid her. But I salute him, being able to survive and be able to live a normal life like this a pride that he should be grateful for. How not, being ostracized and tortured must make him mentally weak, not to mention the lack of knowledge that he got as a child must make him very surprised by the normal world full of competition. Sounds very unlikely, people who were once very backward can live this normal life.

Maybe it is already the genetics of the Kusuma family who have above average intelligence. But Aza can not forever hate her own family, because after all it is also that makes her trauma can not be lost. Right now what Aza needs is the power of feeling protected and loved by his family is the real medicine needed by him.

"I know, it's just those feelings that will continue to hurt me. Jacob always said that to me. Therefore, I need someone who can accompany me when facing Kusuma. The people I can trust and can calm me down when dealing with Kusuma are Om Jacob and Amanda's sister. But I realized, they can't live around me forever. That's why I chose you, can you be trusted?" Ask me, I was surprised. Did he believe me?

"Yeah, my whole life and my family are safe and comfortable you can trust me. You said yourself that if I use you, I accept if you want to use me too." I don't think it's bad for this relationship, I know Aza is someone who is assertive and principled. I think he will definitely maintain this relationship, regardless of what goals he has.

"You're crazy, ha ha." His laughter, and it changed my world. It's true what the girl said, I won a lot. With the mediocre face that I have, being able to get a girl like her is a fortune that cannot be denied. Not to mention with the privilege that the girl's family had. Lying if I do not like the property that the family gives, therefore this is worth a little family problems that I also have to deal with this.

His laughing face was really soothing to the eyes. I smiled as I watched her thin her laughter, realizing that she was gone.

"And for this relationship." we looked at each other as we said them simultaneously.

"I can't possibly divorce you, I'm a one-time, life-long person of principle. If I get divorced from you, I won't remarry anyone." I said quickly, he rolled his eyes puffed up while crossing his chest.

"Have I not said it yet?" The question is ambiguous, I shake.

"I don't consider this relationship, it doesn't mean I don't value you. There is no absence of this relationship I don't care about, maybe for now. I realized human feelings can change, so maybe one day my feelings can change. Even though I don't trust him. I am currently trying to make peace. I ask that you prepare a lot of patience to respond to my behavior and choices. For this relationship I leave it to you, what it will be like in the future. Because I don't know what to do, I still feel what I feel. All I know is hate, so I beg for his help." Aza piled her bowl with mine.

"It's hard but easy, if you and I can work together. All right, we'll do everything slowly." I said, smilingly looking at him. His face was still flat, he really only laughed if it caught his attention.