Azka And Rasha

EP - AR 17

Let's say that Azka is saturated with all this. The relationship that has happened so far does not turn out to be a certainty that the heart is no longer divided. The heart cannot be forced. Although tried as hard as anything, in fact still can not. Long ago, love, baby, could all be felt. But now everything feels reduced.

That day Rasya was really hurt. No, not only Rasya, but Azka was also hurt by his decision. Azka and Rasya had been acting like a promise to approach each other. But in fact, the LDR they live with is enough to make the promise bond a little slack.

Let's say that distance makes both of them need another figure present. Rasya is close to a girl he met during KKN. As for Azka, He was also close to someone whom He met in an organization. In addition, as usual Azka was very busy with all his activities in the organization and teaching. This makes both of them have no time to communicate, even when communicating, it feels not the same as before.

“Kak, I want to say” Azka started a conversation when the phone connection was received.

“By what?” rasha replied casually.

“Kak, what if it turns out that now I am gabisa again related to you?” ask Azka to the point.

"you mean?"

"I--mm.. You don't feel like our relationship is getting bland. It's been less and less since this year. We are like just a formality that send each other news, meet also not. Do you feel bored, sister?" Azka quivered saying so. "So, isn't it good that we start a new world with new people?"

“Why? You want to go one more time from me Dek?”

“Emmmh—” Azka bit her lips, trying to set her vibrating tone.

“Why?”

“I want to seriously do my work here, I also want to seriously my relationship with someone here” replied Azka a little afraid.

“Who?”

"I don't know who either, but I'm just as upset as I am who I'm telling you. hemm, so sick of our relationship, so, I can tell you about the people who are going to be new among us" Azka chuckled. "Even though you didn't tell me about your KKN, but in fact I seem to know you're comfortable with her" Azka heard an irregular breath begin to appear across the phone.

"I want to try to be serious with him, sister, even though I don't know what the end will be like" Azka ventured.

"Who??"

“Later you also know Kak” Reply Azka briefly

“Why can't I be serious about being serious about you first?” rasha asked with her calm voice. Although there are thousands of air scrambling to get out and enter irregularly into his chest cavity.

“I also don't know why Brother. Sorry if I can't saturate my feelings. I have no intention of hurting you. But, even though we seem sweet-sweet all along. We can't really feel sweet anymore, can we? I'm sure, we'll get a better life after this” He paused his sentence "I wish you could end up happy with Nadin" Rasya was surprised when Azka mentioned that name.

"Sister, you should know one thing. I always loved you. But I feel like this is the time when I should stop. I'm sure you'll be happy even if you're not the same as me"

“You're serious Deck?”

Long Azka speechless, He set his feelings before saying “I've never been more serious than this”

They also cut off each other's phone. Fulfilling all the feelings that are approaching them both. Azka could not deny, it seemed like she loved the young man too much, so tears just continued to wet her cheeks. But this is the choice he wants to choose.

Elsewhere, Rasya was already leaning on the back of the chair weakly. He wondered if he had been wrong all this time to feel comfortable near Nadin? Someone he met when they were in a KKN group. Rasya felt he had to convince himself. Is he able to just let go of Azka at the girl's request? Many times he tried to contact Azka, but the results remained the same. Rejected.

Many times Azka also let her phone die. Or he just left it at the costan. He did not expect that taking this decision, could make his heart tremble violently. Like something was being forced off when he had planted his roots in there. He was even often found by Saga, his partner in BEM, was crying bitterly at one end of the room.

Azka felt herself to be the most evil person in the world. But again, he made his choice. Azka did not want to survive just because she felt sorry and did not want to hurt. Because relationships will not be healthy if only based on fear. Wouldn't everyone not be forever perfect not to hurt? And the fear of hurting too much, just rips everything from within. From the part that was never seen.

The sound of the phone ringing that had been heard how many times made Azka inevitably reach for her phone that was opposite her study table. On the screen the thin object is already listed the name ‘Kak Rasya’ which makes the heart of Azka instantly become abnormal. For three days he rejected all the calls Rasya had made. Merely just to convince himself and no longer lose to his guilty feelings. But then the sound of incoming messages whose messages pop up on the screen made Azka sigh slowly.

- Rasya

The sound of the phone ringing again sounded, giving rise to a name that had been written many times there. Azka shifted the green button on the screen which made one's voice sound, Rasya.

“Halo”

“Dek” call him again

“What's up Brother?”

“I want to ask you something, and please answer honestly” Rasya immediately expressed what he wanted to say.

“Hem” Azka just pounding lazily.

“Dek, are you sure you really want to be done with this all?”

“Are you sure that your current choice will not make you regret?” added again.

“The answer to all of that is Yes, Brother. I'm sure I won't regret all my choices Kak” Azka replied straightforwardly. There's a little linu in there. But he held it all his might.

“Are you going to be all right?” Rasya asked another question, which made Azka feel sorry for herself. ‘Azka, you see? She asks if you will be okay instead of worrying about her feelings’ and Azka grimaces over her.

“I will be fine, you do not have to worry Kak” said Azka

“Can I still hope just like you did when we were in eleventh grade?” ask her with a trembling voice.

Azka silent for a moment, ‘Kak, are you crying?’ but Azka could only wonder in her heart.

“You should no longer hope with this relationship, Sister. I'm sure you'll be happy with someone there, though we'll never know what the end will be like. Please for now, I beg we can release each other said Azka steady. Trouble himself pushed bitterly at heart, hesitating at the chest.

“What if later we mate you will receive me again?”

“Kak, now I don't want to dream. But if it turns out we are paired and have to meet again. I'm sure we won't be able to resist it. Matter is God's problem. It's just, if I'm going to see you again, all I'm going to do first is apologize to you” Azka sighed slowly. "Sorry Brother. I'm sorry" Bahkam without waiting to meet the guilt came back to the surface. Apologies are inevitable.

"You should be happy there, brother. I believe you-" Azka's sentence faltered.

“You are sure of your answer, what can I do? Hmhh, I will try it too. Please don't show up again, until I feel sure I'm okay aja” Rasya disconnected his phone. Before hearing Azka's response.

"Sister?" Lirih Azka with her phone still lit next to her ear. The phone call is over. And Rasya's last sentence made himself goosebumps instantly.

Does Rasya not even want to meet? Is Kak Rasya even going to end it all with nothing left? Even to be friends? No. The answer is NO.

Rasya had tried to fix everything, but the corners of their hearts that had changed unwittingly forced him to do so. Rasya will no longer see the girl. It's already finished. He will follow what Azka wants. But for all of that, he could not if he had to still consider Azka around him. From now on, Azka will be considered non-existent.

“May we be okay”

-azka

“Hopefully I'll be fine as you say”

- Rasya