After He's gone

twenty-nine painful realities

Looking at the sleeping Ananta, Alana could not help but cry herself. Alana ended up crying in a small sobbing beside the sleeping Ananta. His lowered head made him unconscious that Ananta was awake now. Ananta's hands were wet because Alana was crying over him.

Ananta looked at Alana in surprise. There's no sign of anything... Ananta tries to guess what else made Alana cry this time. But he didn't find anything.

Is it because of her again?

Ananta rubbed Alana's head, which finally looked up revealing his flushed nose. His eyes were soaked because he had finished crying.

"Why?" Tanya Ananta rubbed the cheeks of Alana who was still wet trying to remove the scars there although it would still be wet again because Alana had not stopped crying.

"Arkan... " Alana said interrupted her sobbing that had not subsided. He wanted to complain to Ananta. But at the same time he was also afraid of burdening Ananta with feelings of sadness. But again this is about a close friend of Ananta, he can not just be silent when his friend is in a sad state.

"He was in an accident, and now he's in a coma." Alana continued, guilt afflicted her. He must be very evil. He even told bad news to people who are still sick now.

Ananta pulled Alana's hand to hug her his hand rubbed Alana's back now. In this way, his almost crying look was hidden from Alana. Honestly, he himself was worried about his best friend. Although often nosy, the boy was a valuable friend to him. He who always hears his complaints, also his place to share secrets. Although he was also worried to see Alana who was crying because of arkan.

"He's a strong boy, he must be fine" she said trying to calm down Alana who was crying again. 'Ananta doesn't see the condition of arkan so can say that' Alana thought. But he couldn't make Ananta worry any more. After all, Ananta was still sick. Alana was only silent and did not tell further about Arkan's condition. Ananta knew enough that he was in an accident so he wouldn't grieve too much. He simply replied with a nod, wiped his tears and pretended to be as firm as ever.

...****************...

At the moment, Alana had calmed down a little after Ananta had comforted her for a long time. Alana rubs her cheeks with a pink handkerchief from Ananta. A few minutes later Ananta's mother came into the room. She did not see Alana who was crying because once she entered Alana was already smiling again as if nothing had happened just now.

"Alana's here again?" Ask Ananta's mother who just returned, she came home for a while to bring a change of clothes for Ananta while cooking some of Ananta's favorite food. Alana knew it from her innumerable, far more than hers which was just two bags of crackles. Alana just nodded slowly.

"Mother bring a lot of food, Alana will eat ya." She said with a smile, she was glad that Alana was accompanying her again so she was not alone in the hospital. Although secretly he was also worried because Alana might skip school to be here. But yes, Alana being here means Alana has her own priorities, and she believes Alana is quite responsible for what she does.

After Ananta's mother finished her meal, they ate together at the hospital. The atmosphere improved a little after Ananta's mother told him and joked a little about her experience when she was young. Alana laughs occasionally in response to that silly story.

But when Alana's father entered Ananta's room, the atmosphere faded again as before. There were only two kinds of things that they would likely hear, and before hearing them needed preparation by taking a deep breath.

"If the family approves you can have surgery as soon as possible." Alana's father said after explaining a lengthy surgical and transplant procedure. His eyes sparkled as if he found new hope for Ananta's condition.

Alana had heard that heart surgery could increase Ananta's life expectancy, although it was never discussed again because there was never a suitable donor. To the extent that they stop hoping and choose other treatment options. But now, the conditions are different. And Alana thought of the reason she hated. I hope that's not the reason.

Ananta's parents smiled happily, hearing the good news. But Ananta felt strange to see Alana's response was sad. He thought, Alana is still sad because of the condition of arkan, without knowing the reason Alana who is thinking about other things.

"You why... " Tanya Ananta, she knew very well that Alana was not doing well. But as she expected, Alana shook her head slowly.

"I'm afraid what I think is right" Alana said honestly. He suspected something bad even though he was still unsure.

"Tell me if something's bothering you." Said Ananta throwing a soothing smile. 'but this time I can't say first' thought Alana who smiled bitterly.

"I'll go for a while" replied Alana, before leaving to see her father.

***

"Well... " Call Alana, her father was astonished she didn't expect her son to come to her office. Though yesterday when he asked Alana to come, Alana did not look for him at all.

"Honest answer." Alana said with a serious look. He stared hard as his father laughed a little. Alana wanted to make sure that what she said was really serious.

"Who's the donor list" asked Alana. He wanted to make sure that his name wasn't there. It felt strange because suddenly this good news existed right after he knew Arkan had also just entered this hospital in a critical state.

"That's confidential. Not be notified to the patient. We haven't got an agreement yet." Alana's father replied as if hiding something.

"Ayahhh" Alana forced her father to talk. Because the things that are secret among them are mostly bad things.

"Dad knows you might not agree if you know who the donor is. But this is the only hope for Ananta to live a normal life like any other child." Alana's father persuaded her stubborn son.

"But she could be Alana's best friend with Ananta well" Alana almost cried in front of her father. The feeling in his chest was mixed. He can't expect bad things to happen to Arkan for Ananta's recovery.

Alana's father who understood the situation finally hugged her son who was now crying loudly. Alana's tears drenched her white coat, she patted Alana's back gently. Didn't expect that difficult thing that was on Alana's mind since.

At first he hesitated, as the patients enrolled in the top donors were students in the same school as Alana. But he couldn't ignore every little hope if it was for Ananta's recovery.

She knew, now Alana was in a condition of having to let go of one, and definitely she didn't want to let go of both. He looked compassionately at his son who was in that difficult position.

"sorry father Na, I don't know" he said softly in a position still hugging Alana. She held Alana in her room until Alana finished crying.