After He's gone

twenty-two fragile.

***

Ananta still sobbed on Alana's shoulder which started to get wet. It was a little calmer, but still not talking.

"Ananta... Did you eat?" Alana asked, she knew that if she asked anything else, it would end up not being answered by the man who was covered in gloomy air before her.

Ananta just shook his head slowly on Alana's shoulder. Her crying had started to stop leaving traces of her tears which were then gently wiped by Alana.

"Arkan... Any food?" Alana asked, arkan also just shook his head. Usually they will buy food outside but because today I was in a hurry to see Ananta he did not have time to buy food.

"Can you please buy it first?" Furthermore Alana signaled that she would change the money later. Arkan nodded obediently and immediately walked out of the room.

The housekeeper's mother is still in the same room. Still observing the two high school students in front of him. Now he understood why Alana was trying so hard to break through and asked permission to go to Ananta's room.

"Mom's gonna go to the bathroom for a minute." His words gave both of them space to talk. Just a minute of course. He still had to keep watch and make sure Alana was fine until she got out of this male dormitory.

"Ananta..." Alana said again provoking Ananta's mouth which was still tight to speak.

"Hmm?" Ananta replied slowly his voice was slightly muffled as he was still leaning on Alana's shoulder.

"You were the one who gave me the bread in class yesterday" he said slowly. Ananta's head on his shoulder moved. He was looking around for topics to lure Ananta to answer his questions one-on-one.

"I know you care about me." Alana smiled proudly, it felt happier when she had confirmed it. Although his smile was somewhat incompatible with the conditions around him right now. He threw out his smile for a while and then looked at his face turned serious again.

"Why don't you want to see me for a few days?" Alana started asking about their problems these few days. Her days were strange without Ananta wandering in front of her eyes.

"..."

"Because of Brother Fia?" Alana guessed the answer she just found out from her father. Hearing the name of the woman made Ananta pinch Alana's clothes on her back. The invisible pain was channeled until Alana seemed to feel it.

"Why don't you tell a story. I can get you." Alana tightened her arms at Ananta. Trying to calm the grieving boy. I don't know, it feels like there is something else that makes Ananta grieve all this time.

"You must be sincere to let brother Fia calmly go to his paradise." Alana tried to comfort Ananta even though she was not sure if her words were right. Ananta nodded again in his arms.

"Ma..." Ananta called out to Alana with his raucous voice.

"I know I need you." Said Ananta slowly, finally letting out a tightness in his chest while holding back all his might to not cry anymore. She hated looking fragile in front of Alana despite the fact that she always looked that way.

"But I'm selfish because you always mean you're beside me because of my condition" The sentence hangs, Alana waits patiently even though her mouth is itching to answer Ananta. It was very difficult to get Ananta to speak honestly and openly like this. Alana doesn't want to lose another chance.

"I'm not the right person for you." Ananta.

"Taa... I need you to know more." Alana replied firmly. He was angry with the man he loved. Why does he continue to feel small when he has become the most valuable person in Alana's life.

Alana took another deep breath and exhaled violently. Though he was already very upset and almost frustrated because Ananta away from him. But why even problems like this are the cause.

"But because I like you."

"Okay, maybe I'll sound better. But from the first time I saw you, my heart told me you were the right person." The matter without the slightest hesitation.

"I am too." Ananta lirih. He pulled his head from Alana's shoulder, revealing his reddened eyes after crying.

Just a moment to look Alana straight in the eye, Ananta rested his forehead on Alana's shoulder. The shame of being late came to fly at him. Followed by a strange sense of awkwardness when he had just stared at Alana who had known him for years.

Did he just express his ridiculous feelings and thoughts to Alana. Suddenly his brain felt empty, he did not know what to say now.

"here... I want to see your face." Alana keeps Ananta's head off her shoulder to look at Ananta's face once again.

"Is it better?" Ask Alana directly. Ananta nodded slowly occasionally avoiding Alana's eyes and not looking at her directly.

Alana rubbed Ananta's wet cheek with the tip of her shirt sleeve. Ananta was lucky that his face did not swell even though he had just cried for quite a while. Just a trace of tears and her nose slightly reddened. Makes it look okay now.

"Promise will not hide and flee again?" Alana said taking out her little finger. Ananta took it with a bit of hesitation.

The hostel mother returned to the room when Ananta was better. He smiled awkwardly at the middle-aged woman, feeling a little guilty for having to trouble her waiting for Alana inside the male dormitory.

After a while, Arkan came with four boxes of food for them. His hurried footsteps swallowed after seeing Ananta already sitting with a better look in his eyes.

As expected, Alana is a powerful remedy for Ananta's depressive-like state. He distributed the food he brought.

"Alana shouldn't eat here..." Said Ananta glanced at the dormitory mother who looked wrong received a food box from arkan.

"Leave it. All because you know" Serbu arkan feel able to curse Ananta again with the state of Ananta now.

Arkan was obviously upset, obviously Ananta who put them in this condition.

"Oh, it's okay. What matters is that your condition is fine." Say Mother dorm mediates.

"Other times if there is a condition like this report to the mother, there may be someone who can be helped by adults. Understood?" The three high school students nodded obediently.

In the midst of awkwardness, they ate together in Ananta's room. Sometimes glancing at each other in silence. Afterwards Alana pampit after making sure Ananta is really okay. He stroked the hair of Ananta who was sitting upright on the bed.

"i'm a hassle, huh? sorry" said Ananta who was suddenly attacked by guilt. He held Alana's hand which was still in his head. The hand moved to pinch his cheek.

"it's important after this can't be this anymore. If there is a problem and don't want to talk to me, at least you have Arkan, you have your parents, you have your parents, you can also talk to me. Don't get hurt alone. huh?" alana was almost angry again. Her smile expanded after seeing Ananta nod obediently.

"this time I'm really saying goodbye, we'll see you tomorrow." Ananta nodded again, after which he just stared fixedly at the back of Alana who walked out with the housekeeper's mother, leaving her and Arkan alone.

"don't bother me first" he said Buru-huru, greeted Arkan's very satisfied laughter.