After He's gone

Fifteen. Leanings

Ananta smiled at the photo Arkan sent this morning. In his view, Alana was still the same person. People who need to be forced to interact with others to make friends.

Alana is not a person who can start a conversation, especially since growing up with him. Even if Alana becomes a little open with others, Alana may be able to easily make friends.

Well, he proved it today by including Alana in the drama club with arkan. Just a little while in the same room, Alana has got a conversation partner.

It felt like some of the burden in her heart was reduced to see Alana smiling with her other friends.

***

Ananta moved from his seat after seeing several doctors and nurses already coming out of the inpatient room in front of him.

Unlike the schedule that it should be, today Ananta did not go to study for the Olympics. He went to the hospital to see an old friend. Women are also important in their lives.

The woman sat leaning against the head of the bed in the all-white room as Ananta opened the door. Looking at her who just came in with a smile.

"Hi," Sapa Ananta after previously waiting almost 1 hour outdoors. Well, this person he was about to meet was undergoing treatment so he could only wait patiently outside the room.

"Hi, thank you for coming" replied Fio. Ananta put down the fruits he had grasped before looking at Fio with a faint smile.

"You're okay, right??" Tanya Ananta showed her sympathy. Questions that sometimes sound sad to patients like him, but still said at all times as well.

"You know for yourself, people like us are never really okay." Fio replied, that sentence is very piercing. But it's true.

"But well, my condition is a little better now than usual." Continue with shady eyes.

Ananta came to her with the same gaze as most people. The difference is, Ananta is special because Ananta also feels the same pain as what he feels.

Ananta did not reply, he just smiled hearing it.

"What's up here?" Fio's question diverted the conversation from the stifling empathy. It is better to talk about things outside the hospital building than to hear sympathy that is getting sicker and worse.

"Missing you." Briefly Ananta. It has been a few years since Fio's brother was transferred to a hospital abroad. Since then they have never met and only met again when going to the lake yesterday. Therefore, Ananta hurriedly wanted to visit him in the hospital to know his situation directly. Also, to say things that have been bothering him lately.

"Don't you make me look like the third person knows." Reply Brother Fio a little upset. He was not used to such sweet words. With Ananta's kind and friendly treatment, he believes he must often be the object of Alana's jealousy.

"I didn't mean it that way... But I miss my sister..." Ananta replied, Missing is not always about a partner, think defensively. And right, his longing for Fio was like looking for hope to live longer. If he alone who had not even been out of the hospital since childhood could survive until now, then it meant that he himself could survive as well.

"Oh yeah, by the way here alone?" Fio's brother asked, looking at the door where no one was there. It felt strange that there was no Alana following the boy in front of him. At the same time, things like this happen very rarely.

"Yes... Alana was still busy" Brother Fio nodded, but stared with a suspicious smile. He always hoped that the relationship between the two would be good. Hence he was a little worried when he saw Ananta coming alone.

"You guys, you're fine..." Ask Brother Fio with a questioning look.

"You know what I regret when I got sick??" Brother Fio started talking again, he chose his words carefully. Ananta shook his head slowly.

"I regret always being alone." At once the atmosphere turned cold at the end of his sentence, turning things a little serious. The sour smile that was originally there faded away for a moment.

"While I had to get caught up in bad feelings, I should have allowed others to be around me." I regretted remembering about the people he had been driven away from for expressing love to him. For him, love is just empty hope for a deadly disease patient like himself. At first he did not want to hurt others, although not a few sincere people came to him. And in the end, he chose to hurt himself by surviving alone.

"The feeling of being alone and lonely was.., it was terrifying" Ananta heard every single sentence carefully. It felt as if there was a carefully slashing sword inside his chest. Clearly, that tone of voice was full of regret.

"Falling in love is a gift to people like us. Don't waste it. People who love you sincerely are a gift from God so that you do not fight alone. They are, too, your reason for survival" said brother Fio wisely. He set himself up as a bad example, because in the end he was abandoned and regretted himself.

"Let't you regret something like me" he continued with mixed feelings.

"I know brother." Ananta replied, every sentence Kak Fio so precisely lodged in his heart as if reading the one concern that was in his chest. He is grateful to have decided to come, even though he had to leave Alana at the drama club first.

"I just feel guilty for involving Alana in the grief and pain she shouldn't have felt." Said Ananta letting out a one-on-one unease.

"I'm sure, for Ara... Meeting you is not a regret." Fio continued his sentence amidst the mellow changing atmosphere.

"Just be honest with yourself if you need it. Treat him as best you can. And don't mind the bad things that haven't happened." Say Fio again.

"Hmm" Ananta nodded before continuing his sentence. Her chest warms. His heart and mind became slightly lighter than before.

"Thank you for comforting me" Ananta said in his last sentence before turning the conversation to something else again. Fio nodded while throwing a smile.

I don't know, it felt so easy for Ananta to get his heart out in front of that woman who was a little older than him.

The things that have passed between them make Brother Fio a place to lean and calm down. His place tells the old things he is silent about.

"Next time bring Alana here. I don't want him to misunderstand." He said a little upset. Moreover, the suspicious attitude of Ananta must have made Alana jealous and mistakenly think that they are having an affair. Though they only let go of each other's worries in each other's chest.

In fact, Fio himself really wants to be friends with Alana.. Someone he has long admired.

"Yes, sorry. I'm afraid he'll get mad if I say I want to see Fio's sister." Ananta defended himself.

"She's angry because of your suspicious attitude." Upset brother Fio.

"Hehe, I'm sorry. Next time I bring him here." Ananta continued before leaving to go back to school. He also cannot linger there because Fio's brother still has a lot to rest.

***