After He's gone

eleven. fear.

Ananta woke up from his sleep with puffy eyes. After a few weeks of disappearing, the same horrible dream came back to sleep.

This time the dream managed to disturb him, to the point that he did not dare to close his eyes again.

Dream about his last day with Alana filled with tears. In her shadow she saw Alana who was crying loudly beside her own body. He could only reach Alana who he could no longer touch.

His body, his voice, all were not functioning at all. Her eyes only opened again as Alana faced towards him with tears constantly flowing. The sad roar made him unable to bear until he finally managed to wake him up with tears that had been welled up.

Why did he go back to having nightmares like this again after he was with Alana? he should have regained his life spirit.

The answer to that question is very much he knows, but he hates to admit it. Her anxiety since long ago wasn't because of Alana. But because of himself. He who was afraid could not fulfill his promise to be with Alana until the time they agreed. He who always lived like waiting for death, how could he let others get involved in his miserable life.

Now she becomes more afraid of the fact that she can suddenly go away leaving pain for Alana. Alana loved him.

Actually, he has been trying to release Alana slowly by going to the High School where she is now in school. It was done to prevent the pain of Alana's heart was even greater than he had ever seen before. But the idea failed by Alana herself who actually went to school in the same place as him.

Thinking about it, Ananta came to a realization. Alana was no longer the little Alana who would cry out in despair as she moved away. It wasn't Alana who would just shut up if she left. Alana is now the invincible Alana. Alana is able to do anything to stay with him. Someone strong enough to be by his side. Although, he was still not really sure about it.

"Taa... Why are you still up at this hour" Call me who's still half awake. He glanced at the small clock on the table. Only at 3 am, why is his roommate awake at this hour.

"Ah, not papa. Just woke up" he said, when in fact since 1 am his eyes can not be invited to sleep again. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the same picture, so he chose not to sleep at all. Ananta curled up in his bed until morning. His mind floated, about those things that had long since disturbed his head.

.........

"Ananta." Call Alana. Alana did not follow him to the dormitory like yesterday, but Alana still clings to him every chance. Like during the break at this time, the two of them were already sitting face to face at the cafeteria table.

Alana prefers to sit in front of Ananta, so that she can see Ananta's face as much as possible. Ananta just let it go, although sometimes uncomfortable too when Alana saw him eating.

"Where is tomorrow?" Ask Alana. Sunday is a free day for those who live in dorms. Only one day they can freely go out of the Dormitory and school. They should be back before 8 p.m.

"A little monthly check-up." Answer Ananta cuek. Alana's father always took time on Sundays for Ananta, his long-term patient. Although not every week, Ananta still have to go to the hospital 2-3 times in one month with an erratic schedule.

"Founder with dad again?" Ask Alana who is now pouting. He knows for sure that he will be ignored again during this Sunday.

"came along?" Ask Ananta. He is usually alone more often. But after seeing Alana disappointed he thought it might be okay to invite Alana this time.

"can?" Alana was already smiling widely hearing one word from Ananta. It was as easy as it made her smile for everything about Ananta. His smile was even wider as Ananta nodded slowly.

"After that you want to go for a walk?" Said Ananta again, who realized Alana's smile was too wide now. I woke up early on Sunday just to go to the hospital.

Alana could not pretend to be unenthusiastic about that answer. Because the streets with Ananta became a rare moment for them lately. Now his smile expands without being able to be covered.

"Again" replied Alana briefly. He had already snatched Ananta's little finger to make an appointment even though it did not match Ananta's slightly embarrassed expression.

.........

"Your condition is pretty good Ananta. But keep in mind, the ban still has to be obeyed." The doctor said with a serious expression. He is not playing games indeed, simple things like running and excessive activity are very dangerous for the heart of Ananta.

Actually, Alana's father knew Ananta had memorized what he warned. But he still repeated it every time he met. A sign that he is very serious about it. What's more, Ananta's health is very influential on Alana's emotions. Now what happens is that if Ananta is okay, that means his son will be fine too, so he has to make sure both of them stay fine.

"Thank you om. When it's all done. I'm saying yes." Ananta said politely.

"Wait."

"You'll definitely take a walk after this. So bring this to eat later." His words showed attention.

Ananta is like his second child, because of a very long treatment period, making him treat Ananta no different from his own child. In her eyes, Ananta looks more like a daughter-in-law than a patient.

"Om fine. Thanks." Ananta accepted it obediently.

"Jaga Alana is fine... Sometimes it's Alana... Can't be controlled." The worried tone was obvious. Ananta understood that because he had seen it many times.

Alana often worries him. Alana with Ananta, it makes her more worried. But Alana's father is convinced that Alana is a strong person and is more than capable of achieving her own happiness. He just needed to guard from afar and observe everything.

"Om sure. I say goodbye" Ananta said one last time before disappearing behind the doctor's door.

"What did dad say?" Sergap Alana behind the hospital door. Half a day he waited for Ananta check Up, half a day he was worried about Ananta. He was bored because he had to wait alone outside the room. Ananta smiles glancing at the tissue provided in the hospital turned into magical and funny forms because of being a victim of Alana's boredom.

"It... Make us go for a walk later" Gurau Ananta. He knew very well what Alana was asking right now.

"Ananta.. " Call Alana again in a slightly louder tone than before.

"good.. The origin of abstinence is not usually abstinence.had gotten a cure as well" Ananta replied, not wanting to see the worried look for long. Alana was calm again hearing this.

"So... Where are we going now?" Ananta asked, shifting the subject.

"I want to. lake" Alana said spontaneously.

"I can't give you the lake" Ananta said, jokingly. Alana looked pouted hearing that

"Ah.. A walk to the lake means. Come on" Ananta said hurriedly before Alana became annoyed. Ananta walked first before Alana was really angry.

"Where do I want to be, just as you are." Alana blinked her eyes mischievously before running around chasing the man in front of her.

But honestly, Ananta was lucky Alana could reveal what she wanted so easily. Not like the women out there who like to confuse men with the word 'whatever'. Alana's will is always clear without the slightest hesitation about anything, especially when it comes to Ananta.

...***...

They are always simple and simple. What one wants must be said so that others understand. Although still, there were things that could not be expressed in such a manner.

They did not go far in fact, because the lake in question was near the hospital. Open space that is quite quiet visitors are often used as a stopover for hospital patients to calm down.

There, Alana and Ananta used to stop by to play. Alana would run around here and there while Ananta would just wait and observe.

But today the two are silent because they come to relax and enjoy the fresh looking grass.

A lot of things went by, but they were still there with the same people, in a place that also looked the same as when they were little. Nostalgia invaded their memories.

"You used to look funny while playing around here" said Ananta suddenly, digging into the past.

"In addition to funny I also know pretty" said Alana did not accept because she would rather be called beautiful than called funny. He let out a rough sigh, before making that silent atmosphere feel extremely serious, again.

"Thank you... Still here with me" continued Alana... Ananta smiled hearing that.

"Thank you, still here with me" Ananta replied in the same sentence.