Actually I Why?

commonalities

Arrive at school.

I walked alone to the UKS.

I closed the door on the UKS.

I daydream about my problems.

I remember the past and the present.

I opened my bag .

Cloth and cutter.

I also wrote my notes yesterday.

I recalled those bitter memories while opening the cutter.

I cried as I scratched it into my arm .

When I goin' to scratch her.

I felt the wind blow quite hard from behind me.

I felt comfortable like someone was hugging me.

I saw a faint mist in front of me.

I heard a woman's voice yelling at me.

"Urip kui guranturono, wong dead I'm not good".

I was shocked.

I looked to the side.

I saw the beaver lady in the unggu kebaya . Is turning my back.

The woman said .

Makes me worry.

I suddenly felt my body being thrown in the woman's past.

I see she's very pretty.

She was dancing at the time . He was about 18 years old.

After she dances .

Some children her age are male and female, dragging her into a room.

They tortured her .

Blow his face.

They tried to ruin his face.

They were envious of the beauty and excess of the woman.

The woman cried looking at her shattered face.

He grabbed a rope and tied it to a door .

After that he hanged himself there.

Seeing him who no longer exists.

Those who hate it laugh happily.

I was like I was thrown again.

I went back to that UKS room again.

I remember memories with my little family.

Memories with my sister, my friend's friend.

All achievements.

I threw a cutter in my hand.

I ran towards the school mosque.

I take ablution and immediately perform repentance prayers.

I feel ashamed of myself.

I feel like I'm very weak.

"I'm not a stupid woman!. I can fight them, I can do everything. I have a good advantage, why should I be afraid of them".

I feel reborn.

Life feels new to me.

I no longer want to waste my life.

"I am the new Eji".

I smiled and started walking for practice that day.

I feel like my mind is very relaxed.

The weight on my body felt lost.

I feel proud of myself.

I am really very grateful.

I feel during my current depression.

This time I feel completely free.

On Saturday, I went to school as usual.

Some of the teachers looked to be clustered outside like some were serious.

The teacher who is teaching in class is also watching his cellphone seriously.

The teacher put his cell phone.

"Children listen, one of our alumni named sari this morning has just died. We pray that the worship charity be received, and all his sins be forgiven".

All children climb up to prayer.

I was a little surprised and went to the corner.

"Let's not the sari that once accused me of being a thief".

Ika and her park friend crying .

They said that this morning was indeed when the school went to accident and critical. But it turns out it's no longer helped.

I was silent .

"Hopefully he is calm there, God willing I am sincere, amen".

I feel very sincere and relieved. No matter what happens in the future.

I've been sure of facing all these trials.

Mondays

Today's Eve is so cold.

I felt like something was wrong with the school.

It was as usual . I stand guard in the back during the ceremony.

The ceremony had just begun 10 minutes.

We all heard a very strong scream from the direction of the 7th class row.

Me and some of the other members ran over to him.

I embrace the student .

Patting his face.

"Hey deck what's up hey look at brother".

The student cried while pointing at his friend.

His friend who was appointed was shocked.

"Hey me why? Don't nakutin".

I looked at his friend .

Nothing is strange .

"What did you see?".

"Aaada.. uuular ddi his deppan".

All of them stared at him.

"Hey, there can't be snakes".

"Guys take him to the UKS sprawl".

All of them were stirring and taking her to the UKS.

The accused boy I asked him to come back.

"Your grandfather is behind the same sister come on".

He's bugging and according to me.

The student was beside me.

I feel like there's smoke blowing.

"How much smoke?".

"There's no smoke".

I was surprised to look at him.

"Nothing".

"Yes there is no".

I shut up, "waduh no smoke. Keep this what else".

I just finished speaking in my heart a very loud crying voice sounded.

This time from class 9.

Me and the others ran...