A Wife's Escape

Unilateral (1)

Day after day changed, until the time came today for Nisa to get out of the hospital. But the last week in the hospital was different from the previous days. Since Dimas made his point, Jonathan has not come to see Nisa since then.

On the other hand Ricky also showed changes, maybe he still routinely checked Nisa's condition, but his attitude especially the desire to talk more with Nisa has also been lost. Keyran was no exception, he decided to no longer always be in the hospital, he returned to his usual activities, he now considers Nisa is no longer his top priority. Even he only came once a day, even in the early hours of the morning and Nisa was still asleep.

Everyone felt empty in the recesses of their hearts, though invisible to the eyes, but the distance felt so far stretched. But if forced to stay together, it will only make the heart more hurt, because each has different difficulties and positions.

That's how Nisa spent her last week full of emptiness in the hospital. The clothes he wore were like ordinary clothes, no longer the uniform of the patient. Today, in the morning he arranged and tidied up his things. Later during the day, his father came and brought the items he had arranged to take home. When her father asked her to come home together, she refused. Since she had previously been told by Valen that she would be picked up later that night by him, Valen told Nisa that something very important required her presence.

After being left alone in the hospital, all Nisa did was sit in a chair by the window. He daydreamed while staring at the scenery from behind the glass, even he continued like that until the afternoon arrived.

CLAAK ...

In the middle of the silence, the door suddenly opened. Nisa turned to the person who opened the door, but she never thought that the person who came was Jonathan. But Jonathan's presence this time felt different, other than not carrying strawberries, Jonathan's expression was clearly visible in no way the smile he usually showed.

After closing the door, Jonathan immediately approached Nisa without greeting or asking for any news beforehand. He sat on another chair but was still next to Nisa. And then he lowered his head.

"I thought I was home, but it's still here, all alone."

"Later tonight someone will pick me up, I'm still here because I'm waiting for him. But ... I don't think you'll ever come again, why is it coming all of a sudden?"

Jonathan did not reply, realizing that Nisa turned her face back and looked out the window. "Tell me whatever I want to say, and now Yuna's not bothering you."

"Nisa, please give me your hand!"

"Eh?" Nisa immediately turned to look at Jonathan, but she reached out her right hand hesitantly. "What's wrong? Do you want to predict my hand line?"

"I'm not that kind of person, but ..." Jonathan held Nisa's hand, while the other hand reached into something in his pants pocket. And as soon as the hand came out, he immediately handed over an object in Nisa's palm. It was a bracelet, and what made the bracelet special was the presence of an animal-shaped decoration, the cat.

"Is-this for me?" asked Nisa with sparkling eyes.

"No, I'm just showing off."

"Joe ...!!" lamented Nisa with a sullen face.

"Haha, of course for you. Here, I'll put it on!" Jonathan placed the bracelet in Nisa's hand, and Nisa herself responded obediently until it was finished.

"Why do you know that I like cats? I haven't told you yet."

"Because you hate dogs, so I thought you liked cats. It's good that if you like it, I thought the bracelet would be rejected."

"Where may I refuse, the things I like will always be accepted. Thank you Jonathan, again you are the one who gives while I only receive." Nisa said with a smile.

"Together, after all as long as you're happy with anything I can give." Jonathan smiled as well.

"..." - ".Nisa stopped smiling, she averted her eyes and just stared at Jonathan's bracelet. "What's really going on? It's impossible if you come just to give me this bracelet, there's something you want to say, I'm right?"

"Huft .. yes, I want to tell you that I'm leaving ..."

"Go?! So this bracelet is a parting gift! That so?!" nisa asked with a panicked expression.

"Hey, calm down and let me finish talking. I'm not gone forever, but only temporarily, just until ..."

"Until when? Why is he suddenly silent?"

"Until I can confirm that you are truly happy" Jonathan said with a smile.

"Wait a minute, why say that?"

"Come on, but I gotta do it. I know that you always smile when you are with me. But, I realized that there are still people besides me who can make you happier, which can make your smile more beautiful. And .. Of course you have the right to choose to be with him."

"Joe .." said Nisa in a guilty tone.

"Look yes, you don't have to feel guilty or regret anything. The one who decided to like you was me. And one thing you should know, I'm leaving doesn't mean I'm giving up. I'll never leave, I'm still here and I'll always be there for you. It's just that I deliberately took a few steps back to give you some stepping room. I won't stop caring, I'll keep watching you from afar. Later, if you get hurt, look for me. I'll definitely come. Right now find your happiness first, I'm fine, I'm fine."

"..." - ".Nisa was silent, even secretly her hand clasped tightly onto Jonathan's bracelet. "So, you left just because of me?"

"Yaa .. that includes one of them, actually I still have a bit of troublesome business there. And I'm leaving today too, maybe Morris's waiting for me. But, in spite of all that ... actually from a long time ago I harbored one question for you. Before I leave, may I ask you now?"

"S-please, just ask as much."

"Hey hey, don't be nervous, the question is easy. I just want to know, if I could take a step back, if when I first met you I asked you to go to Italy, would you agree?"

"Hemm .. maybe."

"Maybe what? Maybe yes or maybe not?"

"Both, maybe not for the reason that we were strangers back then, where maybe I just wanted to go, it was like a voluntary kidnapping. Then maybe yes because at that time I really wanted to escape from everything, especially the situation was also supportive, when Keyran was in Germany. And ... I also want to be honest with you one thing."

"What about?"

"On the people you kill, I mean the people you beat up. Actually their target is me, they're also Keyran's man. If I'm being watched like that for a long time, I'm going crazy! Maybe meeting you, it's some kind of unexpected fate. I'm lucky to know you Joe, thank you, thank you for everything ..."

"Hmm .. You are indeed a different person, maybe a person like you in this world is just one. But unfortunately, the one who wants someone like you is not just me. Ah, it's time for me to go."

Jonathan stood up and walked away, but suddenly his hand was held back by Nisa.

"Wait first! Is your flight going straight to Italy?"

"Yes, why?" jonathan asked as he put away Nisa's hand holding her hand.

"Emmm ... nothing, at least your trip will take 16 hours. So you can save some energy, and .. I understand exactly what your business is, it must be dangerous, so please be careful! Then ..."

"Then what?"

"Ah that, what is Italy like?" asked Nisa with an awkward smile.

"Long if explained, but if you really want to know, then come there. When I'm here you're my tour guide, if you go there then it's my turn to be your tour guide."

"Okay, I'll try to get there. But ..."

"What do you really want to say? Why circling?"

"I-I just wanted to say .. Thank you, I owe you a lot. But I don't know how to pay my debt. Thanking you as much as anything will never be enough, so .. once again thank you."

"Oh, so you feel indebted. I know how you paid for it," Jonathan suddenly approached, looking down and stroking Nisa's face. Then as he brought his face closer, he said, "Pay with your smile, next time I see you again, so at that time do not let me meet you in a state of despair to the point of wanting to end your life. And remember one thing, I love you. See you, Nisa ..."

"See you, Jonathan ..."

With a heavy heart Jonathan pulled his hand back. He again smiled at Nisa, even looking back for a moment before he stepped out.

If I had met you earlier, things would have been different by now. Hopefully in the future we can still be on good terms, even though this one-sided feeling never feels good. I am with you when your heart aches, but when your heart recovers, someone else you choose.

***

After Jonathan's departure, Nisa continues to wait. All afternoon he felt at home waiting, even so at home he had no intention to contact Valen. He could feel at home like that from pondering, he pondered over the entire matter that made his heart feel claustrophobic.

At this time, when the night has come and the clock shows at 8 pm. The eagerly awaited Valen still never came, but Nisa did not complain. He feels like that's how Valen repaid what he did, which is to make him wait a long time.

CLAAK ...

The door was suddenly opened, Nisa who was currently in a good position on the sofa felt shocked and immediately corrected her sitting position. But again he was disappointed, it turns out that came not Valen, but Ricky.

Ricky is no longer wearing his doctor uniform, which is a white coat. After entering, he still said nothing and just sat down on the long sofa right next to Nisa.

"Why haven't you gone home yet?"

"Want me to take you?"

"Thank you, but don't bother."

"Yes, too, a waste of fuel."

"Enough Rick, don't talk anymore! What's the need to see me?"

"In a moment," Ricky reached into his pocket and stretched out a piece of paper and some kind of medicine to Nisa. "Here, prescription drugs and special ointments for you. You must want your scar to disappear quickly, let's take it!"

"Yes, thank you." Nisa happily took the two things out of Ricky's hand and put them in her bag. "It's a good thing you remember that I really need this ointment, so later on on the beach I can confidently show off my stomach! I want everyone to envy my sexy belly!"

"Haha, that's vulgar."

You can say that in front of me. But I must admit that he was right, because I've seen him myself. Nisa often wears a slightly open shirt.

"Why is it still here?"

"Do you really want me to go?"

"Not really, I need a talkative. Being alone is boring. But it feels weird, haven't you been lazy lately to talk to me?"

"Listen yes, I've never been lazy to talk to you. But I did it intentionally. Now think, during the week you've been shunned, who do you miss the most?"

"..." - ".Nisa was stunned, and after that she shook her head.

"Nothing or not knowing?"

"Okay, I'm confused. Please don't talk about it! Every time I think about it, it feels so stifling!"

"Therefore it must be discussed, if every time you always avoid then the stifling feeling will forever continue to exist. Just talk to me, take everything out on me. My intentions are good, I want to see you stop being sad and get out of the suffering that always haunts your mind. So please don't keep it to yourself."

"The thing is I'm confused about where to tell you, if you really want to help, then ask, if it's you then I can answer honestly, whatever it is."

"Well, if that's your choice. Now, let's face here and look at me!"

Nisa took a deep breath and according to facing Ricky, she looked into his eyes as if she had been ready to pour out everything.

"First question for you, why were you willing to hit the knife to save her?"

"Because I don't want him to die."

"Wrong, it's because you love her! The main reason you are willing to sacrifice is because you love her!"

"But I ..."

"Don't try to deny it! Continue to the second question, when you clearly love her, why did you choose to separate from her?"

"Revenge! I want to make her feel as devastated as what you and I have felt, she really deserves it!"

"Are you stupid? You and I are devastated, but when you choose to destroy it, you unknowingly destroy yourself a second time! Again you hurt yourself just for revenge, don't you realize that you suffered because of your own actions?"

"Then what about you? Are you also stupid to want me to be happy on top of your suffering? Until now I still remember clearly when you ransacked your apartment and destroyed all my gifts, you got all the way because of your love, and I was the cause. How can I be happy if you suffer? And I'm very reluctant to be happy on top of the suffering of others!"

"Do you think he's not the same as me? You must not have gone home to yours, right? Just try to go home and then look, he must have ransacked the entire house. Now that I know why you're so hard to be happy, it's because you don't want to be honest with your own feelings. You love her, so don't deny it!"

"Nh ..." Nisa started biting her own lips, she turned her face then lowered her head, even she covered her face with both palms.

"I'm fine Nisa, really. Don't use me again as your revenge. Step towards her, find your true happiness! He loves you and you love him too. If he is my replacement, I hope he is better than me in everything, including loving you. Clasped his hand as tightly as I once held yours. Hugged her body as hard as I once hugged your body. Take care of him as much as you can as I used to look after you. Please never regret what happened to us. Forget it, and slow down."

Suddenly Nisa's cry broke out, even her body also seemed to tremble because of her overflowing emotions.

"Hik .. w-have you never complained, Rick? All the time, attention, energy, and memories you have spent so much with me. Hik .. don't you have any regrets?"

"No, because I'm grateful to know you, and to have been a part of your life. Being a hug that warms you up, becomes something you call happy. I am grateful to have this opportunity with you. There is something about the soul mate, and from the beginning I came only to love you, not to fight against destiny. Smile, because if you smile then I smile too."

"Why ..why do you love me so sincerely, so deeply love me, even foolishly love me? I am a very bad person ..."

"If you ask me why I'm that sincere, why that deep, or why I'm that stupid. Then the answer is only one, I love you unconditionally. As long as you are Nisa, the Nisa I know, then I will continue to love you. In my eyes, as long as it's you, then it's already very special compared to anything."

"Oahhhh!! Still is! I still hate myself! The one-sided decision that made me end our relationship remains unforgivable! And it must have been very painful for you. Y-you from earlier said that because I wanted to realize that you've been the one who hurt the most, right?"

"No, it's not. I'm not saying all that because I want to make it clear that I'm the one who's hurt the most, or even not because I asked you to come back. But you finally realize that the unilateral decision you make is indeed painful. And now, don't you realize that you've again made a unilateral decision with him? I said all that just because there was one thing I wanted to say. I beg you, please no more wounds other than me ..."

Nisa could only cry, even she cried until sobbing and for quite a long time. All the grievances that always stuck in his heart and that made him always feel tormented he had let out, even to his surprise again the answers given were unexpected.

While Ricky, seeing the person he still loves crying makes his heart feel sliced. He himself also tried to hold back tears, even he still took the time to help Nisa calm down.

When Nisa has finished crying, she tells Ricky that she wants to go to the bathroom to wash her face. But he was in the bathroom also quite long, whereas all he did was look at his own reflection in the mirror. He felt even more bitter as he looked at his pitiful-looking self, his eyes puffy even occasionally he still sobbed.

"Hhhh ..."

Look at me, here I am, this pathetic man is me. I always choose the wrong choice, wrong for me, wrong for the person I care about. Maybe I should accept all this, maybe this is how God shows me who I really am.

Ricky is a good guy, very good. And people like me don't deserve to be with him. There could be someone as good as that who would love me, willing to fall, get up, break, grow, just for my sake. I realize he never lost me, but I lost him.

If only my feelings were still the same as before, then I would definitely run towards him without hesitation or fear of anything, but the reality was now different. Now it feels too late to understand, the so-called move on is not easy. This is not just about forgetting and erasing feelings, accepting reality and forgiving my own mistakes are also included, rather than forgetting the past is more precisely called making peace with the past. If only I had realized this earlier, then I wouldn't have hurt anyone else.

Ricky was right, now the stifling feeling that had been bothering me all this time had been greatly reduced. But I still need one thing, I need certainty, I want to make sure my true feelings.

TOK TOK!!

"Nisa, are you okay? Why so long?"

"L-yes, I'll be right out!"

Once again Nisa rubbed her eyes, she took a deep breath and rushed out of the bathroom. Even outside, Ricky greeted him with a smile.

"It feels better, right? Come on, I'll drive you home!"

"No need Rick, I'll be picked up soon. And ..." Nisa fell silent, even she firmly gripped her own hand which she hid behind.

"And what?"

"Ehmm .. b-can I hold you?"

"For what?" Ricky chuckles.

"I just want to make sure of something, so .. is it okay?"

"..."

Ricky smiled, and suddenly he approached Nisa and immediately hugged her. Realizing that, Nisa stopped clutching her hand and immediately returned a hug from Ricky.

This hug .. This is the hug I always miss. The warmth of your embrace, how it calms me, how it can make me feel safe. This was a familiar warmth that I recognized at all times.

But ... I think I've lost it.

It feels a little colder now, and I'm wondering when exactly has this turned cold? What makes it cold? Is it because my feelings are no longer the same? Or because I have found another warmth?

Haha, it turned out that way, now that I have got the certainty that I need. Despite all of that, even though it now feels colder, I hope you can find a warm and comfortable place for you to live in. I hope ... you will find the familiar warmth that replaced me. Because, it is a pity if this kind of warmth is wasted.

I love you, but that was it.