A Tears's

Chapter 6's

From the beginning of my introduction to Alan, he explained that he was a person who loved to party. He also admitted that he was gay, of course I don't mind about him and his hobbies. But when I decided to stay with me, I told Alan a few rules that had to be approved, first he could not have a party at home and second rule Alan should not be too often to bring his girlfriend home. My reasons were quite based, so that Juno would not worry or become angry. Alan agreed to the rule, he never even invited me to the club knowing I was uncomfortable in a crowd. During his stay together, Kevin was the only guest Alan brought home.

The house turned silent as they left me. Right after I finished cleaning the kitchen, my phone rang. Luke's name was on my phone screen.

"Haii" I said with a smile. We haven't spoken for a long time, maybe five days. Just hearing Luke's voice my heart immediately skipped a beat.

"You're busy?" luke asked, his voice sounded unusual.

"Yes, I'm not busy. There's a lot I want to tell you" I said. But Luke didn't make a sound, my heart ached enough with Luke's response. I know something's wrong with Luke.

"Luke?"

"I'm sorry" he said

"About what? What's going on?" my many. We hardly ever fight, we have a good relationship. We even set our future. Luke even promised that when he finished his internship, he would return to NY and stay with me. But I don't think it's going to happen now, I understand the current situation, I'm not stupid. There must be something Luke's hiding from me. I became wondering what kind of problem Luke was really facing until his attitude changed.

"I don't think we can continue our relationship" Luke said. It felt like a chunk of rock fell right on top of me. My throat was dry, my mind started to drift, "where is the mistake" while holding my voice to keep it calm, I asked "Why? Did I make a mistake?" I feel my eyes start to turn red.

"for months your attitude changed, I knew something was wrong, but you always said everything was fine" I explained

I heard Luke crying. I don't really understand what happened.

"Joa, I'm sorry" Luke was still crying on the far side, his voice sounding very pitiful.

"I know, you've thought about it before you say all this. I'll respect your decision, at least tell me what's going on" my voice began to shake, my mind was empty, all I heard was Luke's cry.

It took Luke a long time to calm down, I tried to patiently wait for Luke's reply, "Four months ago, you remember I went to party after finishing my first operation" I tried to remember. Four months ago, in early spring. Luke told me that he was very happy to have completed his first operation well. He also said he would go party with his co-workers.

"I made a mistake there. Joa, I was so drunk that I didn't even notice when I woke up I was in Michelle's apartment. I thought I was just staying over there" my heart seemed to stop. Michelle is a medical student who is interning at the same hospital as Luke. I met Michelle a few times when I went to Luke's. She's a beautiful girl, even beautiful in my eyes. She is friendly and charming, I think anyone who sees her will definitely fall in love with her charm.

Luke couldn't hold back his emotions, he was still crying "He's pregnant.."

I began to draw my breath with my strength hoping that I could hold back my tears. I started staring around me, "empty". I can't answer Luke.

I began to cry, the relationship I had so well preserved was ruined because of one of Luke's faults. It's too sudden, I don't think about experiencing this, how my relationship with Luke should end like this.

"alright. I see, I hope everything goes well and so does Michelle's birthing process" I said.

Luke started crying again, I knew he didn't expect this to happen. One thing he knew, he had to choose and take responsibility for his actions.

"Joa.." his voice sounded so bitter, he continued "I still love you. I always promise to take care of you. How could I hurt you this way. I'm sorry Joa, I'm really sorry"

Luke's words hurt you so much my feelings, I can no longer hold back my emotions. Of course I know, even anyone who sees us will know that Luke loves me very much. He was always there for me, helping and giving strength to me. He also changed my life, I became a more cheerful figure thanks to him. I've always relied on Luke even in small terms.

"What do I do now?" my many. Luke was silent, and he stopped crying.

"Luke, I asked what should I do now?" my screams filled the void of the house that night. My hopes for my future are shattered, what I would do without Luke in my life.

"I'm sorry, really Joa" Luke's voice sounded weak.

"I guess we can still solve our problems as usual. But this time, there's no way to fix it, is there?"

The sound of Luke's cry came back, continuously apologizing.

"Luke, we already know what's going to happen now, right now, right now,. So let's just end it. You should forget me soon. May you be happy" my lips quiver.

"Joa.. Since our first meeting to date, I still love you so much. I'm sorry"

Immediately I disconnected the phone. I couldn't hear Luke's voice any longer, I tried to walk back to my room, lock the door. I cried again that night, feeling like it was going to explode. The thing I've been holding is flowing in my tears. All my memories with Luke came to mind, how he looked at me, hugged me, kissed me and touched me. It still feels so real to me. I also started to think about my parents. If they were present, would I feel this much pain? Feelings of longing, disappointment and pain repeatedly pierced into my heart.

A year after my parents' death, on a winter's night. I woke up from my sleep, I heard Juno's voice in the living room, sounding like crying, trying to control her voice. But since it was late enough, I could hear Juno's voice very clearly. Juno seemed to be complaining to herself, how her life was so difficult. Juno had to go to school, go to singing practice and had to take part-time when there was an empty time. He began to blame our parents "why did you leave us"

From the day Juno's funeral stopped crying, I guess she kept it up until that night she could no longer stem everything. I also cried that night, I also felt a very heavy life without our parents. I used to cry in front of Juno, saying I missed my mother, saying how things got so hard, but she just hugged me quietly.

But that night, after all this time, I heard Juno crying again. I walked out of my room, hugging Juno tightly "I'm sorry" I said. From that night I could not cry anymore, even though I was sick, the difficulties in my social life, even when I missed my parents. All of that could not exceed the pain of seeing Juno with her pills cry.