a bitter life that is happy

sorry about the long hiatus

I went on hiatus because I went through a household upheaval and ended up in divorce. I couldn't continue the next episode because it hurt the flow a little.

After experiencing everything I told you before, I ended up marrying a man I loved a lot despite not being approved of by my papah because of caste differences.

It turns out that from this experience I can understand why the parents' blessing is so important.

I was very disappointed with my ex-husband, because he did not appreciate my sacrifice.

Though I was willing to be scratched from the family legacy and I was willing to leave my hometown for her sake.

I am sad to be separated from my children. But I have to make this big decision. After 12 years of marriage, he was betrayed and lied to.

I want to bring my kids back to my hometown. But because of the cost, I couldn't bring them.

They do not want to be separated from their father.

So I have to leave them. Not because I don't love or care. I appreciate the kids' decision.

When I was separated, I was still deceived and lied to.

Before I left, she cried and said: mother, you can stay with me as children.

'I can't stay with you Dad. But you have no change in your attitude and life.

'I'm grateful that you don't play anymore. But I was disappointed because you never appreciated me and were honest with me.

I helped financially by selling food here and there to survive. But the results of my sale you spent on gambling.

He said if he was caliph and promised not to repeat again. Can I trust again? I gave him 3 years to change for the better.

I am tired of living a household that has no honesty and even violence.

I was desperate to ask my family for help in buying me a plane ticket. I ended up working in the night world.

After I returned to my hometown, I started looking for a job. Having no conditions for work, I accepted my brother's offer to work in the night world.

At first I was told to be a lady, because my body and face were included in the conditions to become ladies.

But when I interviewed, the office asked me to be a mami ladies. Because my age is not qualified.

I finally accepted the job and I am grateful that I am not a lady.

Day after day I went through tears. Because I miss my kids there. But my family strengthened me.

They said that I should be patient and should be able to move on with my life. Because someday the kids will come back to me.

I worked in entertainment that night. And I always pray for the health and fortune of my children.

I called my ex-husband again. I asked for some important documents to take care of the divorce. But my ex-husband disagreed and said he would wait for me to come back when my heart was calm.

But my little heart can't accept this marriage anymore. Because of the trauma I've been through.

Almost every day I can't sleep because of the debt bills of my crazy ex-husband playing gambling and cheating.