(Not) The Substitute

Eps 56 - Baikan

"I need your understanding of my position, I need your sensitivity to how I feel, I need your support at every step of the way, I need to be a top priority in your life. I said I was selfish, but I don't care, just once, let me be selfish, Arfan. Because I love you so much, I'm afraid of losing you, I'm afraid someone's taking you, I'm afraid you're turning away, I'm afraid there's something more important than me in your life, I'm afraid I'm not your top priority, I'm afraid you don't care about my feelings, I'm scared, so scared.... "

Arfan was filled to hear the expression of Elnaz's heart what else when he saw Elnaz's eyes again glazed and Elnaz's voice shook, how much fear was in his wife's heart but Arfan could understand it. The shadow of the love story of Arfan and Elnaz must still cling so perfectly in the heart of Elnaz, not to mention Elnaz who was lacking affection since childhood. Makes Elnaz always feel insecure.

"The same Mom loves Elsa more." continued Elnaz with a voice that increasingly vibrates and her eyes could no longer stem the tears that she had been holding "He is perfect, he is perfect, that's why everyone loves her, maybe you do too...." Elnaz wiped the tears that flowed in the corner of his eyes to wet his bedsheet, as if Elnaz could not make a sound anymore. While Arfan still faithfully listened and looked at his wife

"You must still love her so much, right?" lirih Elnaz with a choked voice and Arfan immediately shook his head, firmly rejecting the accusation.

"Elnaz.." said Arfan and he was still on top of Elnaz's body, not shifting a bit "I don't know how to make you believe my feelings, I don't know how to make you believe, but I'm the owner of this feeling, honey. And I know, this feeling is now for you, yours. I don't know since when, how and why, I don't know. Which I know..." Arfan took Elnaz's hand to his chest, where Arfan's heart beat violently.

"My heart beats so much every time I'm with you or thinking about you, when I'm away from you, I miss you so much. And I feel tightness in my chest every time I see you shed tears, I'm so scared when you get hurt. I can't accept that someone has hurt you, and for me, your happiness is the most important thing in my life"

One tear slipped back from the corner of Elnaz's eyes while listening to the sweet words of her husband, but the shadow of Elsa was indeed a separate fear for Elnaz.

"And I beg of you, my dear. Give me a chance to meet all your needs, hm.." persuaded Arfan again who managed to publish a faint smile on the lips of the wife.

"I know I'm not the best husband for you yet, but I promise I'll try to be a good partner for you"

"And faithful.." continued Elnaz.

"Of course, I'm only yours until anytime" replied Arfan.

"I keep your promise, Arfan. If you betray that promise, then I'd rather die.." said Elnaz with a voice stuck in his throat, Arfan who heard the remark immediately shook his head firmly and put his finger on the lips of the wife and he looked at my wife.

"Don't talk like that, Elnaz.." she said.

"How else do you want." said Elnaz then as if he was desperate "Nobody loves me, attach importance to me what else cares about me. You are my only hope, my resting place. Before I married you, both parents didn't think I existed, and after marrying you, they didn't really think I existed..."

"Darling..." Arfan slips his hand on the back of Elnaz and then he rolls until now Elnaz who overcame Arfan's body, Arfan holds the wife and puts the head of Elnaz on his chest, Arfan, then he kissed the head of his wife.

"I promise, no matter what happens, I'll always be there for you..."

Elnaz smiled happily at her hearing, she wrapped her arms around Arfan's stomach and looked for the most comfortable position in her husband's arms.

"I love you, Arfan. Please take care of my love." pinta Elnaz.

"I love you too, Elnaz. I promise to keep our love" replied Arfan.

"By the way, how many shallots did you peel that made your tears so hard?" elnaz asked then who made Arfan's laughter break.

"Use the dead drops, hehe. Let's convince"

"Basar lebay.." grumbled Elnaz while pinching Arfan's stomach, making Arfan grimace.

"Belgium"

"Dear, so now we're better?"

"Hmmm"

"If you don't, I'm gonna cry real.."

"Please..."

..........

The next day, Elnaz returned as usual, giving a good morning kiss to her husband, greeting him and smiling at him. In fact, they do the ritual of bathing together, making their bathing event longer than usual and certainly more fun and thrilling.

Then the two make breakfast together, eat together and even feed each other. Make Arfan and Elnaz feel flowering flowers with a sumringah smile on his lips.

"Thank you, dear.." said Arfan sincerely "Oh yes, later lunch anterin ya..."

"Yes." replied Elnaz while bringing dirty dishes to the sink and then washing them. While Arfan is in charge of cleaning a messy dining table.

"Honey if it's good like this." said Arfan again while pinching the cheek of Elnaz squash.

"Origin don't just look for trouble." said Elnaz firmly that makes Arfan immediately chuckled amused.

"Wouldn't..."

.........

Isna knocked on the door of Elsa's room many times, because since her quarrel yesterday Elsa was always in her room and she never came out once. Elsa does not even eat and does not drink, making Miss Isna feel very worried about her daughter.

"Sa, let's go, honey. You haven't eaten since yesterday..." Shouted Bu Isna but there was still no answer from her daughter.

"Sa..."Ms. Isna tried to turn the door handle and it turned out that the door was not in the key. Miss Isna pushed the door and she did not find Elsa in her room.

Miss Isna was looking for Elsa in the bathroom but also there was nothing, making Miss Isna panic and she screamed for Elsa.

"Elsa.." he exclaimed, until accidentally his attention was diverted to a paper in bed. Miss Isna took it and read the contents of the paper which was none other than a letter from Elsa.

Mama, I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye. I just want to live my life the way I want. I promise, I will make Papa and Mama proud of me, I will live what I want to live long ago. And I'm sure that one day I will succeed, be famous, be a star, and Papa and Mama will be proud of my career.