You're Me She

36. Worried

Falling in love is a beautiful thing, but it feels painful for some people who love a figure that is not necessarily able to have. Not necessarily, it doesn't mean you can't. It just needs consideration that makes the heart not strong enough to hold what is being felt.

Banyu was pensive in the warehouse, he leaned his back on the back of the chair he was sitting in. Banyu pondered all that had happened lately between himself and Tasya. Yes, he finally admitted in his heart when he began to fall in love with Tasya, the woman who is also being loved by his younger brother, Putra. Although Banyu knew, if Tasya and Putra did not agree to start a clear relationship, Banyu only felt evil when he cornered Tasya from the Son. That is what makes Banyu undo his intention to kiss the beautiful lips of Tasya.

Banyu got up from his seat and walked away from the warehouse with a shaky step. Then he entered his car and walked without direction and destination. Feeling agitated and disappointed mixed in his mind. The shadow of Tasya's face continues to haunt in his eyes. Until finally Banyu decided to slam the steering wheel to the left of the road he was passing. He dropped his forehead on the steering wheel and closed his eyes tightly.

"I don't have any friends to talk to, none of them. I want to get everything out of my heart. On whom?" His inner. Suddenly both his eyes were fixed on the decoration that was on the dashboard of his car. Yes, it was a decoration that he had bought together with Tika, while they were on vacation together. Without thinking, Banyu drove his car towards the cemetery complex, where Tika lay there for good.

Throughout the journey Banyu's feelings are uncertain. On one hand he felt he had betrayed Tika. On the one hand he could not resist his love for Tasya. And one side again, he felt unworthy to be called an older brother, when he loved the same woman as his own younger brother.

A few minutes later, Banyu's car stopped in the parking lot of the cemetery. His eyes looked at the expanse of the man's final resting place. Green trees adorn the cemetery complex that feels lonely at noon this afternoon. The wind blew and the clouds started to cloud. Banyu decided to get out of his car and walk down the cemetery complex. His feet stopped at the block of Orchids, his eyes fixed on a white tombstone bearing the name of the woman he once loved so much. Banyu crouched down and greeted the owner of the final resting place while gently rubbing the tombstone on it.

"Darling.I'm coming."

The sound of the wind seemed to convey Banyu's greeting to Tika. Banyu bowed deeply, and he closed his eyes tightly. He offered prayers for Tika who was gone. For the woman he once loved so much who now apparently prefers to leave himself and return to the creator.

"A year you've been gone. Is it evil when I start having special feelings for a woman?" Finally Banyu said what was in his heart for a moment he had just finished praying for Tika.

"His name is Tasya. She is a good woman, according to the Son. Yep... Son, why Son? because he was also close to my sister, Son," he said.

"Well, are you there with our son? If so, give my regards to our son."

"When... would you be disappointed if I had feelings for another woman besides yourself?" All the questions, Banyu threw in front of the tomb. Even if he knew, Tika would not be able to answer all the questions he was asking.

The rain began to fall, the water began to wet Banyu's shirt which was still crouched beside Tika's navel. But the man did not even try to take shelter. He survived there with his hands still gently rubbing the tombstone belonging to his late wife.

"I don't have any friends to talk to. I'm sorry if I just came to say that I'm in love with a woman other than you. All this time, you've only been my best friend and the woman I love so much. Sorry if this love changes hearts too quickly. But I can confirm that if you were still in this world, this heart would never have moved, Tika..."

"I was confused whether I loved him because anything about him was very similar to your habits. Did I lose you so much that I tried to find comfort with a woman who had a habit that was almost similar to yours?" Banyu lifted his head and looked at Tika's tombstone with a sad look.

"Lately, I've been thinking that I love her not because her habits remind me of you. It turns out I was really in love with her. But what should I do? What about the Son?" Thousands of questions continue to be thrown by Banyu in the rain.

.

Tasya stared out the window of his office. The rain seemed to be so heavy that it washed over Jakarta. He sighed once in a while, as he kept remembering how close he stood to Banyu who almost kissed his lips earlier this afternoon. The handsome man's shadow continued to haunt, until Tasya was startled by the ringing of his mobile phone lying on his desk.

Drett...! Dreeett...!

Owner of a sweet smile.

That's what it says on his cell phone screen. The figure of a man who for several weeks is able to fill the void in his life. Especially, the emptiness of the figure of the father for his only son, Rafis. The man who is constantly displaying feelings of love to himself and Rafis. The man who once said love in a different language, but Tasya still not sure of the man, because indeed he was still doubtful with his own feelings. Especially because of the presence of Banyu which makes him confused by his own feelings towards the two men.

Doubtfully, Tasya receives a call from Putra, the man he labels with the owner of a sweet smile. Yes, because the guy really has it. A gentle man to himself and Rafis. An unpretentious man when near him and Rafis. The man who very attractive all the eyes of a woman while walking with her.

But Tasya never knew what the Son's past was. He is more interested in the past that Banyu has. Because it was previously a story about Banyu often Tasya heard from Queen, his best friend.

"Hello mas?" Sapa Tasya's.

"Yes hello... How are you? Busy again?" Ask the Son from the end.

"Not really, I'm good news. Sorry I haven't been able to visit you. If there's a chance I'll visit you tonight." Tasya's Promise.

"Ah, yes, I miss you. Ilove you.."

Deggs...

Tasya's heart was pounding.

"Tasya. you are mine. Don't ever leave me, no matter what. After this, let's go far.. I want to invite you to live abroad. I want to live together with you and Rafis, of course, in marriage."

Tasya shook her head, her eyes staring out the window. His breathing was claustrophobic and his thoughts were erratic.

"Tasya. believe me. I want to be a good husband and father to you and Rafis. I promise..."

"Hmmmm. mas. we. hmmm.. later talk in the hospital." Cut Tasya.

"All right, see you later."

"See you later mas..."

The call is over. Tasya got up from her seat and walked over to the window. The overcast sky and heavy rain seemed to bring him to a more worried feeling. Will Tasya take love from the Son for granted?