Why Different?
Briefly, To Steady Yourself
As if not enough to make his head dizzy seven-round because of running away from home, Juan also increasingly make Reno's head as if to break when the muscular man knowingly resigned the next day. The bastard again, Juan did not submit a resignation letter directly. The rancid boy only left a piece of mail Reno found on his desk when he just got to the office.
“Si what does this dog want, anyway? Wanna be a jerk out there?” while nagging so, he scrolled the screen of his phone. After unsuccessfully trying to persuade Juan to tell him where the man was last night, Reno blocked Juan's number. But this morning the two were forced to reopen the block because for God's sake, he was eager to curse the rancid boy until his voice was gone.
A monotonous waiting tone was heard for a few seconds before finally a hoarse voice echoed from across. Not wanting to waste time just hearing the greeting “Halo”, Reno immediately sprayed Juan with a high tone that made his throat hurt.
“Shareloc now! Do not let me find your existence with my own efforts, because if it happens, I must be the same head you will separate!” threaten her.
From across, Juan did not pass the protests or grunts as the man used to do. However, Juan also did not open his voice at all so that made Reno even more furious.
“Lo budek's? Or mute?” the sarcasm, just to make Juan present a short breath that was somehow escaped with what kind of expression. “Abservice!” he cried again, as if reluctant to give time for Reno to just think about the answer.
“Nanti.” After a long moment of restraint, that was the only answer Reno got instead. Obviously it makes his emotions go up to the crown. An innocent pen lying on his desk was also targeted. He squeezed the thing so hard that he made his knuckles turn white.
“Gue does not accept the word later.” Speak with great emphasis. For a moment, he closed his eyes. Adjust the breath well so that his emotions do not explode like fireworks on the new year's night celebration. “Now.” Its effects.
However, just as the hardness of the coral was undaunted despite being constantly hit by the waves, the answer Juan gave remained the same; later. What Reno knows once later is that it is the least expected answer from other answers.
Reno is not as patient as it is to constantly hold back emotions. So rather than him going to ruin more stuff in his study, Reno decided to end his phone. Persuading Juan is as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack, so what Reno can do—mau do not want—is looking for the whereabouts of the man with his own efforts. Although that meant, he really had to resort to violence against his cousin later.
“Gue will actually make your head split into the same body, Juananda.” He growls.
While from the gap of the door of the room that was not closed perfectly, there was Moana whose ears suddenly became sharper than before. While hiding behind a wall so that her presence was not visible from within, the woman clenched her hands tightly beside the body. Teeth in the mouth cavity so collided, the sound of rumbling can no longer be avoided.
“So, until you want to be able to unite with the woman, Ju?” and Moana should know, the question need not be said because the answer is obvious; Juan wants Zahira, nothing else.
...🍁🍁🍁...
Beeping.
Disconnecting the phone unilaterally made Juan again have to sigh patiently. He knows, his decision to get out of the house will indeed cause a commotion that is certainly not easy for him to face. However, due to his already unanimous determination to break free from the shackles that had been holding him back from flying higher, Juan would face everything—whatever the risk.
In the eyes of Reno and Mama— and the rest of her family—the decision to get out of this house is definitely just because she wants to be together with Zahira. The fact is not so. There are other big reasons why Juan ended up leaving. And once again he said, even if it wasn't now, he would still be putting his feet up.
In recent times, as his relationship with Zahira has had ups and downs that have hobbled him and almost given up, Juan suddenly recalls Fabian and Baskara. Two friends who have disappeared from view since a heartbreaking tragedy struck both years ago.
Just like what Fabian and Baskara dared to do, Juan also wanted so. He wanted to at least begin to let go of what had encased him since childhood. The spirit of treasure and the good name of the family that makes him unable to freely do what he wants, he said, trauma from minor injuries in the past that eventually makes him grow into someone who likes to run away and pull away when there are problems, also predicate as a crazy bastard maniac **** who can only rely on the treasures and titles of parents to be able to exist in the world.
At least once in a lifetime, Juan wanted himself to be known as Juananda Saputra who lived on his own footstool. He wanted, people no longer doubted his ability to survive just because they thought the reel of the old man's treasure had made Juan lena and was reluctant to fight for himself.
Juan wanted to be appreciated, even though there was never one of the people closest to him who demanded this.
“Shut up for a moment, to return to being a greater figure.” Juan muttered a line he read from a fragment of writing in Zahira's collection. He does not remember who the author was, but what Juan clearly keeps in his head is that the author has a lot of anxiety that he ends up pouring into his works. People thought what he wrote was fiction and fantasy, but for Juan, he had poured so much of himself in there.
And just like the sentence just now, he would use his time to pull this off as best he could. So that later when the time comes he has to face the people from the past, he can present a new side of himself.
...🍁🍁🍁...
What was Zahira's greatest fear was keeping Juan away from his own family. And today, it actually happened.
By phone, Juan told me everything. That he had left home since last night, applied for resign, and decided to keep secret where he lived from his extended family—including Reno—for a while.
If usually he has a lot of wit, words of wisdom—or whatever it is people call it— to advise Juan, this time Zahira can only be silent. Juan's decision was unanimous, and Zahira could do nothing even if he wanted to.
“Not because of you.” As if he could read minds, Juan said that. “I don't want to until you feel guilty, yes, Za. If that happens, even I'm so sad.”
As a lover, all Zahira can do for every step Juan takes is support him. But for this decision, Zahira was very worried. If he was supportive, wouldn't that mean he was also supporting Juan to stay away from his own family? But if this decision is indeed good for Juan's life going forward, then Zahira can what but guarantee it?
“But you're okay, right? I mean, you don't lack anything there?” ask Zahira then.
Across, Juan chuckled softly before replying. “Nothing. I've prepared everything from far away anyway, Za, you don't have to worry.”
But still, Zahira was worried. Starting something new with everything that was far different than before was no easy feat, at least that's what he knew.
But in the end, Zahira did not show that worry excessively. He preferred to continue the rest of their chatter with trivial matters. Just ask if Juan has breakfast, how to sleep that man had last night, until other small things like want to eat what the man for lunch later.
On the terrace of the house that was already deserted, as he prepared to leave for the hospital, Zahira still continued to serve the ravings of Juan who seemed to have no final line. They keep going from one topic to another, until they forget that after this, there are still many difficult things that they have to face in their efforts to live a better life.
Seriate
