Why Different?

Rain in His Heart

The noisy rain spots clashing with the rumbling thunderbolt woke Zahira from sleeping at 4am. Dark room conditions and air conditioner set at a minimum temperature makes the impression of cold and gripping more pronounced. The bad news, he forgot to close the access door to the balcony properly so that the cold wind from outside also blew in, hit his body wrapped in a thin nightgown to shiver without hesitation.

Gontai, Zahira got out of bed. His steps were dragged towards the balcony door, about to close it properly. However, he ended up sitting helpless there, crying again because the memory of his quarrel with Juan some time ago came back to visit.

Zahira still vividly remembers how Juan stood outside the fence of his house in a drenched state only for their relationship to be fine. The man got rid of all his selfish sides, putting aside the emotions that could destroy everything. If you think more, Zahira realized Juan was fighting more. Her lover had always been the most stubborn, the most eager for their relationship to be okay. Although sometimes the way is extreme enough to give him a headache, Zahira knows it's all Juan does because he loves him.

As for Zahira himself, he felt himself too resigned to accept the situation. Every time they quarreled, especially if the matter came from Juan, he would become very selfish by not going any closer, he said, being much more passive and just waiting until Juan comes closer brings all the persuasions and solutions to their problems. Zahira was defeated, by himself, by fears he knew might never even happen.

Of course it can't be like this. Zahira knew something was wrong with Juan last night. She should have been looking for a way to find out what happened to her lover, without putting their relationship back into a tussle, right?

“Ju,” Zahira pressed his own chest, fumbling, looking for where the pain point that made his chest as if full was so that it could not hold the oxygen he breathed so hard better.

Crying is never a solution to any problem. Zahira knows. She knew her tears would not solve anything. But that dawn, she really did not know what to do other than to cry as much.

The time that passed with Zahira sobbing finally stopped at one point when the dawn of the azan reverberated. The alarm on Zahira's body rang, immediately helping to close the faucet that made her tears flood nonstop.

With a breath that was still slightly sobbing, Zahira walked back to the bed. His cell phone was lying on the nightstand, since last night he did not touch because after he returned from the hospital without being delivered to the house by Juan, he was busy crying.

His cold shaking hands then grabbed the phone. His chest again felt tight when he did not find a single notification coming from Juan there. It is increasingly confirmed that Juan is not okay.

For some time, Zahira took a moment of silence, completing a cry. Only then did he move his fragile fingers to type in a few words, then he sent it to Juan before he finally left the phone back on the nightstand to rush to the bathroom to fetch water.

Zahira knew it might sound brazen, but along the way to the bathroom, she prayed that the great God would let her and Juan walk together. Hopefully their relationship can still be maintained in such a way, until later they know which dock to lean on.

...ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ...

Welcoming the morning had never felt so stifling to Juan before. Maybe until 2 or 3 in the morning, he was still awake with a cell phone that he held tightly. The hope was obviously only one, he wanted to wait if there was a message sent by Zahira for him. Just ask if he has arrived home safely or not. But in fact, a single message he did not find until he decided to turn off his phone and go to sleep with a bad feeling.

“Come to Moana.” Reno poked his head at the door of the room, making Juan squeak at his little cousin and grunt quietly.

“Ngapain?” tanyanya while getting up from the bed. She was ready in a work suit, just tidying her hair up a little and spraying perfume.

“Gue balikin alone, later take a taxi.” Refuse Juan. It's nothing, he just doesn't want to hang out with anyone. If he can, he even wants to pull over first from the sight of people, disappear for a while until his head can return clear and the shadow of the man who ‘hugged’ Zahira last night is completely gone.

“My name.” Reno insists. “Gue is not sure Moana will let you go quickly if you come alone.”

The head is still noisy and unstable emotions make Juan finally chose to give up, rather than he had to engage in a fistfight with Reno since it was still morning.

After styling his hair with his long fingers and spraying perfume, Juan walked ahead of Reno. Without bringing along his cell phone, which he still left in a dead state.

Reno tailed behind after glancing at the innocent cell phone that had always been the main target of her cousin's anger. Inwardly, he was eager to move presumptuously with the phone and give it to Juan after turning it on later, but he was not that kind of person. Although his concern for Juan was very high, he would not dare to cross the line to touch personal items without the permission of the owner.

So with the same heart feeling heavy, Reno continued on. Staring at Juan's back nanar that moved further and further away, as if deliberately building a decent distance between them.

“Lo in front, I tailuin from behind.” Reno said as soon as she got to the side of her car.

Juan didn't look at all. In fact, the man also gave no reaction to show that Reno's speech was heard. All Juan did was get in Moana's car, start the engine and go straight into the gas before he even installed the seatbelt properly.

It's a lie that Juan didn't hear what Reno said. He just feels he doesn't have enough energy to respond to things that don't really matter.

To get rid of any thoughts that would interfere with his concentration of driving, Juan turned on the radio. But unfortunately, the song that was first played from there right after the announcer stopped babbling actually made his chest feel more bruised.

My Love Fairy sung by a talented female singer, Ziva Magnolya, airs her in such a way. As though it was mocking, as if to insist that no matter how hard he tried, the wall between himself and Zahira could never be torn down, unless one of them would succumb.

Even from the problems that continue to come, God seems to want to show that love is a gift that does not apply to those who believe in a different God, such as himself and Zahira.

The sun was shining overhead, but that morning, it rained heavily on Juan's heart. The rain had become friends, and did not know when it would subside.

Seriate