When Love Fades

what an unusual day

As usual every morning I was always busy with the boisterous children.

Sahil's cry that made Mas Alan wake up from his sleep. He was very angry if his morning sleep was disturbed.

"Sir, that's why his son is crying. I'm still fucking this !". Alan was getting angry at me. If Sahil does not immediately stop his crying, Alan will nag until the apocalypse is less than two days.

"Yes Mas". I left my cooking and switched to my children.

"Why dear ? Calling for toys again, huh ? Tomorrow we buy a new one. Don't cry anymore". I held Sahil and suckled her before her father got angry again.

It's sad to see kids like this. Could this be the right time if Mas Alan to Bali. Like a child is a child. But this heart is not willing. Six years together but now they have to separate.

"Yes Allah. This weak servant is strong. If Mas Alan has to go wandering, help me to let him go". In silence I always pray and ask the almighty.

***

Abi was sitting quietly in the guest room. While enjoying the afternoon sky a little cloudy. Umi brings Abi's favorite cup of black coffee and puts it on the table. Then sit next to Abi.

"Mi, how about Rena and her children stay with us during Alan's stay in Bali". Abi started the conversation.

"Umi's just whining Bi, if they want. Umi did not dare to maksa.

Let Umi call Alan later".

"If here Rena can learn trade. So Alan's money could be intact".

"If alan were still sleeping". Umi's guess is never wrong with this one child.

"The boy had two children and was still a sleepyhead. Abi used to finish the dawn prayer has gone out of the house looking for money. Having a child does not want to imitate Abinya. He told the college to sell toast". Abi was starting to get upset with his son.

"Prophe Bi. Alan is a smart kid. It's just that he mishandled after college in Surabaya. And it's been ingrained on him to this day". Umi always defended Mas Alan even though they were noisier.

"What can be proud of that child !". Abi added emotion when talking about Mas Alan.

"Hush, can't say that Bi. As parents, we pray enough. Hopefully Alan will be successful after returning from Bali".

"Amen". Abi sips coffee made by Umi.

In the meantime, I'm still trying to wake up my husband. I shake his leg a little.

"Mas, it's ten o'clock through loh, it's been through a lot even. Let's wake".

"Yes, just hold on Deck. Step my foot first. Fondling taste".

"Yes Mas". I took one of Mas Alan's legs and started massaging it. Although I'm not good at massaging, but Mas Alan likes my massage. Either just make me happy or something.

"Kids where ?". Ask the Alan.

"Mother's Place". My answer was short, while holding back the tears that were almost spilling over my cheeks.

"You why Deck ? I think there's something different. By the way". Looks like Alan knows I almost cried.

"It's okay Mas". My voice started to sound slow.

"Here sleep next to Mas". Pinta Mas Alan while stretching out his right hand.

"Deck. . You know you are sad. I am also sad to leave you all. But still have to go. I can't see you guys like this. I don't have the heart".

"mas, I imagine that you're not here anymore. Especially if you have to go really". My tears started to fall too.

"Sir, you have children here. I was there alone. Try to shadow. I should be the sadder one".

"Heyy... Why dream ?

Deck, we fast for two years. Those two years were for a second. ".

"Yes Mas. I just need some time. Am I going through all of this without you ? And I'm not sure".

"triings.. ". Whatsapp messages from hp mas Alan.

I opened it and how surprised I was.

(Al, aunty's Wednesday at aunt's house.Tomorrow you'll be here. You must first take training ).

That's the message and it's Saturday.

"Sir, who's message ?".

"This is Mas, Wednesday Mas Alan must have arrived in Bali, at the home of Aunt Anita, he said there is training so."

"Alhamdulillah. The sooner the better. Aren't you ?".

I just answered with a smile.

"god, this is how soon we have to separate. Please give us more time together. It's too soon for the servant. Please". I'm constantly praying as if I don't want a farewell.

Whether faithful can only be tested by separation

Jealousy is not enough

Whether togetherness cannot guarantee

If you have to separate

What to say

Cannot resist the will of the Power

Resigned but not willing

Someday there will be a longing

The most missed

Getting used to your own heart

Against the waves themselves

Fight the storm itself

Without anyone accompanying

Exhausted,

I feel tired of this soul

Missed someone far away

Hopeful to meet