When Love Fades

out of the tiger cage into the crocodile cage

After performing the Maghrib prayer, I got together with my two sons. Then I raised both my hands and honoured Allah SWT.

O Divine Robbi, I'm sending all the worries of my heart to you. The servant cannot face it without your strength. This is very difficult for the servant. These tears bear witness to the inability of the servant. It is heavy for a servant to have honey. I don't want to share my husband with anyone. Including Devina. Please keep them away, God. Amens.

I ended my prayer by rubbing my hands on my face wet with tears. I don't know since when I became weak and whiny like this. I'm the kind of woman who moves on easily. Yeah, maybe it's love that makes me like this.

That's how I feel right now. The unrelenting sadness. Trying to hide but difficult. It's not as easy as turning your palm. But I still have faith that God will not test a servant beyond his means.

The change in Alan's attitude made me even more nervous. What he hid and this heart always asked. Why does this love make me weak.

After I complained to the owner of life. I turned to the living room to meet my two little princes. Joking around with them was so much fun, it could bring me a smile and even a laugh as Sahil's tiny hands tickled my hips. Suddenly a voice sounded

Tarrr......

We ran to find the source of the sound. What is this, God. What does all this mean. I picked up pieces of glass strewn across the floor.

Aw...

My ring finger was hit by broken glass and spit out a droplet of blood.

"mother.. Mother's hands are bleeding..". Alfan was shocked when he saw blood flowing from my hands.

"why did the pot fall ma'am ?"

"Mother also does not know, there may be lizards who are again chasing continue to be nudged potanya. Then fall..".

After cleaning the debris, the children and I resumed our happy moments. The wedding photo I put on the nightstand. The heart kept asking what was really going on. What does this have to do with Alan.

The night is getting late. The children started getting sleepy and asked me to take them to his room. Because of the unstoppable drowsiness they fell asleep so quickly.

I walked to my room next to the children's room.

"i'd better call Alan's man". Then I took my phone and called Alan via whatsApp.

Tut.... Tut's....

"cityaflora ..hallo.. Ren's.. What's up ?"

"walaikum salam. Is she okay ?"

"yes.. Why are you suddenly asking like that ?"

"it's okay, man. Maghrib's wedding photo has fallen".

"i'm okay, Ren. You just calm down. Don't worry. In Indonesia isn't it late at night ?"

"yes.. I can't sleep thinking about that. Suddenly, the heart was not calm. Thank goodness there's nothing".

"yes. Assalamualaikum"

"walaikum hail".

Heartbroken after hearing the news that everything was fine. I hope Alan is not lying. But why is Alan's attitude cold to me. Maybe he's a saucer.

* * * * *

Alan was still lying on his bed. Her body feels fresh now. He was trying to remember what happened.

"astaghfirullah .. What I've done. I asked Devina to go up to .....

stupid you Alan. You're crazy ". Alan hit me repeatedly for doing that stupid thing.

"Ren, it turns out your hunch is right. It's not all right. I'm sorry".

He saw that his clothes were still attached to his body including the sheath ties on his waist which Devina easily opened.

"luckily I did not do that. Don't let it happen".

While Devina still continues and continues to think about finding a way to ensnare Alan. But unfortunately, until this moment he has not found it.

"why yesterday I didn't go on. Alan would definitely not notice, instead he would enjoy my gentle touch.

Patience Dev... Let's think of something. You definitely can. Keep chasing your love". He gave encouragement to himself.

He also has not found out what surprises will be given to Alan. His mind was dead-end after yesterday's incident, embarrassing but pleasant.

"God... Why would I want to repeat that stupid thing again. I should have been ashamed and avoided it.

But what's wrong if I try it again".

The morning sun was rising from the east, indicating that the day's journey was about to begin. Peaceful city, looks people eager to start their day. And so does Alan.

"The beautiful morning. May my day be as good as this morning". Alan is hopeful.

When he was about to leave for work, he saw a beautiful woman walking towards him. The woman was wearing sunglasses that made Alan curious.

The woman was standing right in front of Alan. She wears a perfume that Alan is no stranger to. For a moment he was silent, it seemed like he was remembering someone.

Could he be ...

The woman opened her glasses and was surprised by Alan.

Yeah.. That woman is Alan's past. He once filled Alan's heart. Stopped for so long and left a deep impression on both of them. Maybe not a soul mate.