Three Years Different

82: Confession

Three days passed ...

Mardiyah went home to the orphanage with the permission of her father, Gautama. Manggala did not hold back anymore because when he heard that Rajendra was also trying to hurt Mardiyah, Manggala felt that all this was really wrong, and very outrageous. Gautama thought that Abhimana and Abhimata were right. The same blood, Mardiyah was her son, and hurting her own family would die of wounds. It just ends in regret.

The residence of Umma Sarah, which is usually crowded by orphanage children, now looks lonely. Because when Mardiyah looked out the window, the sun was blazing, a sign that the children of the home had not yet gone to school. Mardiyah really misses Inayah. How is that shy boy?

Before long, suddenly the four-wheeled vehicle finally stopped right in the courtyard of Umma Sarah's house. Mardiyah's lips were instantly crescent-shaped, Umm Sarah-the in-law welcomed her.

"Yes Allah Mardiyah ... Umma's son-in-law." Umm Sarah pecks her left, right and last cheeks on her forehead. "Are you all right? Is anyone sick? Or .. oh yes, Umma you have more. There's team rice too, son."

Lutfan looked at his Ummah with a shake. "I don't think I'm the same Umma. In all the faces of Mardiyah. He's tired of Umma."

Umma Sarah looked down at her son who was helped by Cak Sur to enter the house. "You're envious? Ask yourself there!"

"Astaghfirullah Umma! What, anyway."

The dining room which immediately became a stop step for Umma Sarah and Mardiyah. Right yeah. As he said. He cooks a lot, the dining table is really full.

"Cachak monggo eat too," bargained Umm Sarah.

Cak Sur shook his head. "Send, Umma. I want to go to the boarding school to help Gus Jafar. Sepurane, with Umma. I say goodbye, assalamualaikum."

"It's not pa-pa, kid. ." atalaikumussalam."

After Cak Sur pamit. Mardiyah momentarily looked at Lutfan and said, "You haven't eaten, Lutfan."

"Yes. Gu-a-ku's plan is to eat. But I think this food is special to you." Lutfan looked at each meal. "Umma is not nawarin."

"O your God! Habits! Umma must continue. That you have bargained with your wife, you know, still ask Umma bargain too? Then this Umma cooks for you too." Umma Sarah pointed to the potato fry sambal. "That's. There's your favorite meal too, right? Don't be jealous of your wife."

Lutfan showed his pouting face. "Umma mah ngomel mulu."

Mardiyah simply shook her head and smiled faintly.

"Mar."

"Yes?"

Lutfan said, "Boat, huh? I'm going to eat with my hand, just use your hand, don't you pa-pa, right?"

Mardiyah's cheeks are warming up. This request is not strange, as a child Lutfan also often like this. But why did it feel like the request and the way he spoke was now different. The heart is not safe!

"No, yeah?"

Mardiyah. "Ma-tigers. Yes, I'm a bribe."

"Sleep there. Rest."

Mardiyah.

"Wanna take a shower?"

"No. It will be late afternoon."

Mardiyah looked around the room that seemed to change. It was very different the first time he occupied it, the bed turned a big size, some anime posters were missing, and it seemed like a lot of new books. Either what Lutfan did was deliberately to welcome him, or just want to remodel it.

"Why look at the room? Don't like it, do you?"

Mardiyah. "Like, really."

"Generic ..."

"What?"

"You try to get close here. What the hell are you reading there?" Mardiyah watched Lutfan close his book and turn his wheelchair back, then approached the bed. "Just get here. I want to talk."

"What are you talking about?"

Mardiyah stared. "Don't tell Umma about my miscarriage, Lutfan."

"I don't know, anyway."

Thankfully, Mardiyah's inner self saw Lutfan trying to get into bed. "I'm ban--"

"No need. I-i can. You sit down," reject Lutfan.

Netra Mardiyah focused on every movement of Lutfan. She was afraid that her husband would fall. But as Lutfan said, her husband had reached the side of the bed with a firm hold on the back of the bed.

"See? I can, right?"

Mardiyah smiled faintly. "Yes. You can."

Lutfan confirmed his position by sitting without distance with Mardiyah, his net staring straight at the black door that was closed. "Mar, I'm going to take it seriously."

"What about?"

"Cecilia Adiwangsa."

"Homewhat?"

Lutfan. "When you were still in the villa. He came, said he wanted to adopt you. He wants you to be a foster child who has legal parents. And actually, he's trying to help, but I can't believe it."

"I don't want to."

"I know you're going to refuse" Lutfan said with a faint smile. "I know you can't get away from me anymore, right?"

Lutfan spontaneously chuckled, being overconfident. He scratched the tip of his nose that is not itchy, adjacent to Mardiyah has long made him pounding, not to mention now just alone in a quiet room.

"Lutfan, I ..." Mardiyah suddenly took Lutfan's hand and held it in her lap. His cheeks were flushed, and his heart was pounding. "promises. God willing I will not leave you the same Umma again."

Lutfan just nodded. In his brain it occurred to him that one thing really needed the right answer, not just a lie. "Mar, have you tried to think, right? If not all the good is asking for a return?"

"Why do you suddenly ask that?"

"Reply answer me."

"No. Because I think every good person must be repaid," replied Mardiyah.

Lutfan rubbed his hands with Mardiyah's hands clinging to each other. "But what are you thinking? Sometimes there is a rather painful reply to the person who has been kind to you?"

"You're talking to me?"

Lutfan smiles. "Finally conscious. Actually I did not intend that, just .. your talk while in the hospital I suddenly thought. Are you really accepting this marriage just out of return? Is it true that time ... we admit it it's all just your return---"

"Do you believe?" Mardiyah stared at Lutfan from beside her husband's thick eyelashes, looking at him many times straight. "I don't think it's all for you to think, Lutfan."

"How can I not think? I know I'm useless. If it wasn't for me being Umma Sarah's son, if it wasn't for me being Kiai's granddaughter where would any woman want to marry me, Mar? You also want just because of return because Umma has been big on you all this time."

"Eleff." Mardiyah patted the wrist slowly Lutfan slowly. "You know now that you doubt the power of God? Nothing is impossible, Lutfan. Even if you weren't the one you are now I'm sure there are still women who want to marry you."

I want elo, the inner Lutfan is silent.

"Lutfan about return is right. But can't you sort out everything I say?" Mardiyah. "While I heard when you refuted all my words. I thought you'd sorted out."

"What is it, Mar? Your words tend to hurt me."

Mardiyah looked at the two hands that were clinging to each other. "You said, making love and having s*ex are different. You said, no educated woman would want to get pregnant just to return the favor. Everything, you said is true. If ... I really intend to return the favor, I can be your nurse without getting married. If I were to return the favor, I would obviously reject this marriage. Because in retrospect as a woman, I shouldn't be that easy to accept. Even then, I was ready to get married. But still, the nature, behavior and others on the man who will be my future husband I must know first, he said, to be my benchmark for deserving the man to be the husband and father of my children."

Lutfan really listened to Mardiyah by looking at the focus of her eyes from the side.

"Because I don't want to regret. Because I don't want to feel like a failure being a wife and mother. And I ..." Mardiyah bit her lower lip for a moment. "I don't want my children to feel that being born to a mother like me is wrong. I also don't want them to think that having a Dad is a bad thing. I want them to have intact parents, who share affection, who can be role models when they feel devastated. I really don't want to .. they feel .. ba-that being born in this world is a mistake. I-I don't want-"

A single tear ran down the back of Lutfan's hand. Mardiyah cried.

"... they live in contempt. I don't want them to get a bad label left behind by Mom or Dad. I don't want that to happen." One of Mardiyah's hands wiped her tears. "The meeting with Umma, and the marriage with you is a decree. Even with you, I don't need a benchmark anymore, I believe you'll be a good husband and father."

This confession, really makes Lutfan convinced that, all is not just a return. Mardiyah had clearly considered herself, not thinking about her flaws, the wife chose to save the hearts of even unborn humans into this world.

"Mar ..."

Mardiyah looked up, looking at Lutfan with a flushed face and tears remaining.

"A-ayo .. wujutin every dream of yours, let's be a husband and wife who .. sa-ling loves."

Mardiyah's lips opened slightly when she heard what Lutfan said. His net even glazed over again. Lutfan ... have more feelings than ... just think of it as family?

"Lutfan you-"

His words are unresolved. But the chewy object is attached, long-miss meetings that have not happened, add to the enjoyment. Not only in one place, Lutfan suddenly turned his wife's chocolate mane to the back. His wife's neck and ears were visible, and slowly the kiss descended on Mardiyah's cheekbones. Then it came down again to the neck, and Lutfan stopped there, sucking slowly and leaving a mark.

"Generic ..."

Lutfan stopped and immediately looked at Mardiyah.

"What?"

"I'm still-"

Lutfan refuted, "I don't intend more. Just want to kiss there can't, can't you?"

Mardiyah's cheeks are flushed. "By but---"

"Do you not like it?"

"Su-like." Mardiyah bit her lower lip slowly. "But fear later--"

"No will. Even if I let go I can't be sure you're that."

Spontaneous Mardiyah lowered her head. I don't know why, he's getting shy. "Y-yeah already."

Lutfan stared at him, taking his hand off Mardiyah's cheek "You understand what I'm saying?"

"understand."

"Which part?"

Mardiyah was still down. "That was."

"What did I say?"

Mardiyah looked up, her gaze met with Lutfan. "You said .. want to live together as a husband and wife who .. sa-ling loves."

"Do you understand what I mean?"

Mardiyah.

"Astaghfirullah." Lutfan rubbed his face with a shake. "I am again in love. You don't have any romance, don't understand anymore."

"A-ah sorry."

Lutfan looked up with a faint smile. "No pa-pa, no pa-pa." His hands raised rubbed the mane of Mardiyah, until down touching the waist. "Here hug. I miss."