Three Years Different

45 (2): We Are Husbands and Wives. No One Eligible for Me Other Than You

"Pak Manggala ..you acknowledge me as a grandson. And you asked me to call you Grandpa." Mardiyah swallowed her saliva, her hand squeezed the robe for a moment. Then he said again, "I want to fulfill that. But if I could ask as a grandson. Never separate me from my husband."

"should ... Grandpa understands." Mardiyah looked at Kiai Bashir for a moment. "What is meant by Kiai Bashir. I am Grandpa's grandson. But .. I was born outside of marriage. Grandpa's son has absolutely no rights over me."

Mr. Manggala nodded. "I know, Son. Your nasab is yours, your mother. But there's no harm, right? Grandpa saved you from this wedding under the guise of trust? Grandpa absolutely does not accept Grandpa's granddaughter should end up taking care of a disabled person for life-"

"Manggala" Kiai Bashir said.

The view of Mr. Manggala turned to look at Kiai Bashir.

"If you want to acknowledge Mardiyah as your grandson. Go ahead. Please do that. But do not let your heart break the marriage rope that has been established between your grandson and my grandson," continued Kiai Bashir.

Mr. Manggala turned his eyes to Mr. Gautama and Doctor Gumira. "Tama, you agree, don't you? That this marriage will only harm your child?"

When Mr. Gautama answered. Mardiyah replied, "I'm the one who is undergoing. And I don't feel at all harmed. Please never make a decision for my life. If you ... never live without parents."

Mardiyah. There is no good solution. Even Mr. Manggala insulted Lutfan, making a decision that he did not want at all. Similarly, Mr. Gautama and Doctor Gumira promised that this problem will not be known by anyone, it is all a lie.

"Not sitting down" said Kiai Bashir.

Mardiyah shook her head, her net had been glazed over. Even to hold back his tears he could no longer. "Free, Kiai. Free. They ... they don't want to talk about this in a good way. They even insult Lutfan."

Mardiyah's gaze turned to look at Mr. Manggala. "What did you say? Me and Lutfan haven't had intercourse yet? ... Already, Mr. Manggala. It's been. You think for five days of this wedding we didn't have time to do that? You're wrong."

"So, if I could ask. Please go with the children of this Father. Because even if I am your descendant, Mr. Gautama has no right to anything in me." Mardiyah felt her throat ache, tightness in her chest many times over. "I don't need to know who my father and mother are. I don't need that anymore. I'm an orphan. I don't have a family."

Mardiyah came out of Umma Sarah's house. The goal is the dorm. One more lie came from his lips. Father ... Mother ... Brother ... Sister ... The family? He dashed his own hope by saying that. He wants to have a family. I want to feel how happy they are together. But if not with his mother, Mardiyah think this is not true.

Adiwangsa is a big family. He never thought of destroying the peace of others by asking for his own happiness. Not at all. Living without a parent is painful. Especially if Rajendra, Abhimana and Abhimata who live have parents must know the fact that his father has children from other women. Must've hurt. Even he was convinced, the fact of his presence would also hurt Madame Cecilia.

Mardiyah. "No ... no."

The dormitory door can be opened. Either maybe Mr. Budi forgot to lock it, so lucky Mardiyah can finish all her cries there.

"My-rip?"

Mardiyah's hand touched her face. He no longer needed to ask for a glimmer of memories that Mr. Gautama had with his mother. If by looking in the mirror, he can see the face of the mother, Mardiyah think it is enough. What is this family relationship for? If it only gives wounds to people?

The dormitory door suddenly opened. Mardiyah looked up to see who opened it.

"Lut .. fan?"

Lutfan walked in, turning the wheel with all his might. Then try to close the door of the dormitory as much as possible, after he approached the wife who sat down under the bed.

Lutfan's hand touched the head of Mardiyah. "It hurts, does it Mar? I'm .. I don't know what to do. But ... I .. I can hug you."

Mardiyah shook her head slowly, rubbing her two cheeks that were left in tears. "Why ... are you here?"

Lutfan hush.

"You ..." Mardiyah's tears came back, she looked down, her hands touched Lutfan's feet. "sorry. Should ... You should not have to hear what Mr. Manggala said. Should ... By Allah Lutfan, I. But I don't like it. I don't like them making decisions about my life. They even insulted you. I don't like that .. i--"

Lutfan refuted, "What they said was true, Mar. I am .. if I have children. My little heart will never exist willingly, my son must .. marry the same disabled."

"Why are you talking like that?"

Lutfan looked down at Mardiyah who was also looking at him. "That's how? What they say facts. All the dads in the world, don't want their kids to suffer, Mar."

"But I have not suffered at all."

Lutfan's hand stopped rubbing Mardiyah's veil. Even his eyes looked the other way. "Lo shouldn't lie to Mr. Manggala. About us who haven't really done---"

"We can do it now" argued Mardiyah.

"Mar ..." Lutfan pulled back his wheelchair, Mardiyah's hands were no longer on his feet. "Gue doesn't like it like this. Harebrained."

"What's rash, Lutfan?" Mardiyah coughed, feeling dry in her throat. He looked the other way, and again said, "We are husband and wife. No one is entitled to me but you. Now I ask you ..."

Mardiyah looked up, looking at Lutfan. "Do you want to grant Mr. Manggala's request to divorce me?"

Lutfan hush.

"Or you want to ask me to wait a year .. until you're sure you can walk again." Lutfan still did not look at him. "That's what you want, Lutfan?"

Lutfan was silent.

"How many times have I said I never minded having a paralyzed husband, I never felt pain, I've been fine until now." Mardiyah sat curled up, covering her face with both hands. "But why don't you understand?"

Lutfan looked up, looking at Mardiyah who was sobbing. His chest also felt pain. All about Mardiyah's kindness was her happiness. But the moment of crying could not be restrained, and only the wounds felt again and again. He felt that he had failed to become the protector of his brother first. He felt his promise was not kept.

"But why don't you understand?"

I understand, Mar. That's why I don't want to suffer. Why don't you understand anyway? From the point of view of your people it would suffer a lifetime of hardship if I were the same. Because the healing of my legs is not guaranteed, the inner Lutfan who chose to get away from Mardiyah. As he turned around, his hand was about to open the door again.

"Don't go, Lutfan. Please ... accompany me here," said Mardiyah who made Lutfan urgently do everything. "Please hug me."