Three Years Different

76: He is gone

Mardiyah.

"Mar ..."

Mardiyah brushed off Lutfan's hand in her stomach. "No. I'm not pregnant--"

"Certain .. which Midwife said, what does that mean? I'm not stupid, Mar. The bleeding that Midwife means is your content, right?" Lutfan. "He's all right, right? You fall down or what? How can--"

"Lutfan stopped talking. I want you out." Mardiyah threw her face to the left. "I want to rest."

Lutfan.

"Lutfan, get out."

Three seconds later, Lutfan said, "Gue is coming out. After you answer my question ... how old is your content?"

"I told you, if I don't-"

"Lied, Mar. Lo lied!"

Mardiyah got up from her sleep, took a seat slightly to the left, about to press a button. But that second Lutfan also pulled his arm. "Lutfan, loose."

"Javab, Mar. After you answer I will release my hand," said Lutfan.

Mardiyah was silent. This time he nodded. A lie he had told, but it seemed Lutfan would never believe it. The man next to her believed she was pregnant with a baby. The flesh that has been in the future, has fallen.

Be ill.

How should he speak to Lutfan?

"Lutfan, loose," said Mardiyah.

Lutfan took off his hand on the arm. He bowed, and said, "Gue just wants to be honest. What's the trouble, Mar? You said in the letter .. you're pregnant."

"I never spoke like that."

"No, that's not a lie."

Mardiyah sedentary Lutfan flat. "It's just fiction. How can you believe?"

"Gue believes whatever you tell me is real, Mar." Lutfan. "If you're pregnant what's the trouble you say to me? You're still my wife, Mar. And the boy you bear is my son. I deserve to know. And you said, if you get pregnant there will be no more chance for them to bring you. We can live together again, Mar. I beg dong .. lo be honest. Which you wrote in the letter, which Midwife said. Everything really is, right?"

Mardiyah breathed a heavy sigh. The pain in his stomach had subsided, his original nerves had improved, back in tears again. His gaze on Lutfan changed, he squeezed the bedsheet tightly and lowered his head in reluctantly staring at the husband. "Yes .. all right. But ... he's gone Lutfan .. he's gone. Don't forgive me, because I think .. my mistakes can't be forgiven. I'm stupid. I should. .. I should take care of him, I should eat regularly, I should not stress me.... I'm stupid, Lutfan."

Lutfan's firm grip on the gurney slowly slipped away. Everything in Mardiyah said made him weaken.

"Even ... Doctor says .. I ..." Mardiyah covered her face with both hands. "I'm going to have a hard time getting pregnant again. Because this miscarriage ... really ... poses a bad risk for ... my uterus."

"So what's it for? Why would you marry a woman who can't love you a child, Lutfan?" Mardiyah. "Divorce is a choice-"

"No," argued Lutfan.

Lutfan tried to pull both of Mardiyah's hands over her face. Until the look of the reddened face of the wife who was reluctant to stare.

"It hurts, Mar? Here ..." Lutan's hands gently rubbed the wife's stomach. "Gue swiped. Sorry .. sorry A-dad, huh son?"

Hearing Lutfan call himself Dad, Mardiyah's tears suddenly dripped without being able to stand it. "Why are you sorry?" lirih Mardiyah's.

"Try the drop, Mar. Don't sit down gini ..." Lutfan led Mardiyah to settle down slowly. Then he rubbed his wife's eyes. "Gue is hugging Elo. It's been a long time, isn't it?"

Mardiyah's hand raised touched under Lutfan's blackened eyes. "You .. looks different."

"Oh, huh?" Lutfan tried to smile thinly on the sidelines of his heart pain. "Maybe it's because we haven't seen each other for a month."

"Generic ..."

"What?"

"Anged for what?"

Mardiyah bit her lower lip slowly. "Baby---"

"Gue doesn't want to be angry. I think I'm ..." Lutfan suddenly bowed, the swab of Mardiyah's hand spread to the right ear, until it reached the top of the mane of the husband. "You cry."

Lutfan sniffling. "It hurts ... Surely yes, Mar? If the pain can be moved, let me just be that racist." You have been sick from before. You have lived alone before. You don't know your own mother's face, and when you've met your father. He ... he even misahin us, Mar .. and now, you have to lose again .. lo lose our baby. I feel happy that it's not much. You always get sick. I don't know how broken your body and heart are. I don't know .. It must not hurt. That's why I hope the sick move to me, move everything to me. I can rest all, continued Lutfan in his mind, still bowed, he felt the swipe Mardiyah stopped.

"If the pain is moved. You certainly can not nahan," said Mardiyah slowly.

Lutfan replied, "Can."

"Generic ..."

"What?"

"I want to see your face. Just look at me."

Lutfan looked up with reddened eyes and still had tears left around his cheeks. "Do you see me crying?"

Mardiyah shook her head, her hands moved on Lutfan's right cheek. "I'm sorry."

Lo fell? Or what? How could it bleed so badly? inner Lutfan with all the questions that filled his mind. "Lo is not wrong. Why apologize?"

"If only I had taken care of-"

"It's all a decision, Mar." Lutfan. "God willing I am sincere. You have to be sincere, huh?"

Mardiyah nodded slowly.

"Gue will meet Mr. Gautama with Mr. Manggala as well. I'm ..." Lutfan rubbed the head of Mardiyah covered with hijab. "Gue will dismiss the lawsuit. I don't want to divorce you."

"You don't hear what I said? If I'm going to be hard to get pregnant--"

Lutfan refuted, "Lo think, I married you only for offspring? No, Mar."

Mardiyah was silent for a long time. Then divert attention. "Have you eaten?"

Lutfan was silent for a moment. Then shake.

"I told people to buy you something to eat, huh? You try to sleep--"

"No need. I'm not a laper." Lutfan refused, looking directly at Mardiyah. "Lo himself, have you eaten?"

"Not yet." Mardiyah looked at Lutfan gently. "No pa-pa, Lutfan. Eat it later if you're laper."

Cleks.

The door opened, and Abhimana, Abhimata and Aldo entered the hospital room. Until spontaneously make Lutfan away from Mardiyah.

"Lut" said Abhimata who took a seat on the black sofa by placing the parcel on a glass table. "Gue buy rice padang. Eat there."

Lutfan just stared.

While Abhimana's view turned to the Brother. "My brother will not disappear. Lo sit down enough. Ate. If you're sick, trouble my brother!"

Lutfan turned to the right of his wheelchair, and began to push the wheel slowly until he walked closer to friends. "Later on. Aldo, I don't think we're eating yet."

"Let's eat together." Aldo started to open the package. "Lo's wife will also eat. Again made porridge with Aunt Cecilia."

"Please calm down." Abhimata looked at Lutfan who looked hesitant. "Lo can be here. Later if my brother is healed .. you can take him home. I'll help you talk to Papa with my Grandpa."