The Suffering of the Wife I Divorced

Chapter 54

"That's why you don't smoke in front of Alif," muttered Amara after asking Bian about Alif's condition. "That kid got ISPA for sure because of exposure to secondhand smoke from you. Don't tickle—"

"Ra, I've been smoking in front of a kid" Bian said, pouring freshly cooked vegetable soup into a bowl. "From the Pharaoh's mengerangkak also I never dare to ngrokok in front of the children—"

"So that's Alif why is that?" sahut Amara is full of investigation. "His eyes were red, coughing, where his voice was hoarse, it was so obvious most were breathing cigarette smoke!"

Bian did not answer. He grabbed a plate from the cabinet array, scooped up the rice and put it on a tray with a bowl of chicken soup for Alif.

While pouring a glass of drinking water, Bian considers whether he should tell Amara what makes Alif like that. Actually, he didn't want to talk about this.— considering last night they just had a fight about Bian's past.

Now, what happened to Alif is also again related to Bian's other past, and he does not want to make Amara think life with him is too much haunted by the past.

However, after thinking and weighing, Bian finally convinced himself that he should be so open to the woman. Bian has always been open and honest with Amara.

So, no matter what the woman would think, Bian remained principled not to hide anything from Amara.

"Omm?" call Amara with an urgent look when Bian does not answer.

"But you promise not to get angry" Bian said with anticipation. "Don't want to reveal the former wife, but you know for yourself how Alif same Yunita ..."

When Amara will reply, Bian first added, "When he was two years old, Alif had been hit by lung spots, he said, so I'm very strict with Alif's health condition after she consistently medicated the road until healed ...."

"But" continued Bian, his voice turned slightly displeased. "So the Alif finally told me after I wondered if he was talking to the same people who were smoking or not. He said, two days ago Alif was brought with Yunita, known as Zaki— his new girlfriend Yunita he said. It turns out they were upset until three o'clock mallem on maen bola— maen PlayStation. The kids were taken away how is it not fun? Do not think that Alif is still a child, do not think also they play games while smoking. Alif nyampe kayak—"

"Kok you can be caged and ngebiarin Yunita nemuin Alif if he nyontoinnya like that?" amara's comments were upset.

"How do I know Yunita's life is like that now?" Bian said honestly. "somehow I don't know when Yunita brought Alif to nginep that. Usually they only meet at Mirna's house. If I knew for sure I'd ban—"

"Udah deh, Alif here aja," said Amara angry. "I'm sorry for it. Besides that Alif is not his son Yunita, how could there still be communication that—"

"Ra, at that time I said we had agreed, long or not our soul mate, Alif would be the right of Yunita. I didn't care, Mirna, whose own mother didn't want to take care of Alif. But since I took care of him from the baby, I just realized that I can't lose Alif. When she and I divorced, I even willingly gave two of my possessions and savings as long as Yunita wanted to give Alif—"

"Well, that means Alif should be your right now" Amara said without thinking.

"In fact, cramming all that is not as easy as we can comment and assume," Bian explained. "Not everything will be as easy as we think, especially if you care too much about someone, which sometimes makes us have to evaluate and reconsider."

Amara was silent for a moment, trying to digest what Bian said with age-restricted thinking.

"But if I believe it's like Alif's own kasian," said Amara, still play his conscience that can not bear to see the condition of Alif suffered because of the work of Bian's ex-wife. "What, you can't make strict rules with Yunita and forbid her to meet?"

"Can, but ...."

When Bian never finished his words, Amara urged while pulling Bian's shirt, "But what?"

"But his alif must be on my watch, I can't hand over to Mirna," Bian said hesitantly.

"Yaudah, I said Alif lived here."

"No way, Ra." Bian exhaled heavily, then lifted the tray and hurriedly came out of the kitchen. Knowing that Amara was following her, Bian added, "I also have to think about the impact on you that Alif lives here. You were depressed enough that last week you couldn't concentrate on Biandra."

"Lho, I'm the same Biandra wants to go home" said Amara who walked behind Bian while slowly shaking a bottle filled with milk for Biandra. "So you can focus extra protection for Alif—"

"Why do you think Alif lives with me?" hatch Bian without looking back as they explore the steps to the second floor.

"Make Alif's kindness right, kasian's a child if—"

"If you can even show the best for Alif who is not my biological child, why do you insist on keeping Biandra away from me? From his real father? Have you ever thought about how stressful I am when I think about all this? I'm not asking anything from you, Ra." Bian's voice was so cold when he protested Amara's words. "I mean you stay here so you can love Biandra the best, the first and only child I've ever had in my entire life—"

"Om—"

"This time you beat me up. From yesterday I tried to beat you, I tried to beat you, try to understand where your mind is going" Bian said seriously, saying, he paused for a moment on the threshold of the stairs before going into the room to feed Alif. "You said I just wanted Biandra, and didn't think about your feelings, little Biandra, anything Biandra—"

"And really you've always been Biandra for my nahan," protested Amara in a squeaking voice, a little horrified to see Bian's gaze turning fierce.

"But you should have thought that all of that would obviously turn to you, Ra." Bian exhaled a furious breath. "If I had asked you to stay here for me, you would have said I was a selfish man who didn't understand your feelings. Tiara's problem, I've thought a thousand times that I have to be honest with you and there is nothing that I learned, in fact you are getting angry and accusing me of not-no. Tell me, what do I have to do and how do you behave? Would you be more fun if I boongin you?"

"Not so, too" muttered Amara, feeling a little guilty to the point of running out of words because what Bian said was true.

"How do you want it?"

When Amara could not answer, the cry of Biandra seemed to be a savior so that Amara could escape from Bian's insistence, she needed time to think rationally.

So, Amara hurriedly ran to the— room even though she knew Bian's sharp gaze continued to follow her until she closed the door.

Amara thought hard with all her limitations and bitter experience of betrayal. However, everything Bian said was not wrong at all. She can't be selfish, and Amara knows very well that what Bian is doing is for the good of her and Biandra.

So, Amara considered carefully about her decision to go home and ask for a divorce from Bian. After Biandra sucked out the 50ml of milk she gave, Amara gently patted Biandra—'s body while her brain began to string word by word for her to talk to Bian.

After thinking hard for almost an hour until Biandra fell asleep, Amara came out of the room to meet Bian. However, the man was no longer in his room.

When Bian heard the approaching ticking step and believed it was his wife, Bian looked up and waved. "You have breakfast first, think you need energy too."

Amara nodded and sat down on the chair facing Bian.

"I can take it myself" said Amara as Bian would scoop up rice for her. So, Bian just took it for himself.

There was a moment of silence between them. Only the clinking of plates and spoons clashed when the two seemed not to want to start talking first.

"Nr ...." Eventually Amara broke the silence, and found Bian just raising an eyebrow. "I've been thinking about making a tetep here, but we have to talk—"

"From now we also talk," said Bian while feeding food into his mouth.

"I mean, that's Om nanya, how do you hold me?" Amara looked at Bian as the man nodded. "I just want you to be open. Do not want things like yesterday happened again— which ends I can only chimed in accordance with what I thought. In the future, I want you to tell me what you are doing, where, who is the same ..."

Amara paused for a sip of drinking water, a little nervous as Bian just watched her— as if looking for solemnity from the look in Amara's eyes.

"Not that I want to organize your life, but .. based on our experience, where you married I was diem and not the same keel Yunita, Yunita, I'm just afraid you're gonna take that to the other girl behind me. I just don't want to be the one to be lied to for so long, even until our relationship ends Yunita doesn't know, right?"

Bian stopped eating and placed the spoon on the plate, then locked the look in Amara's eyes until the woman looked back at him seriously.

"Darling," said Bian softly. "You know, I'm also not a person who never fails at home. Like you, I don't want to do that anymore either. That's why yesterday I was talking honestly about you, but I'm telling you that I was wrong for not telling you that the person I met that night was Tiara."

Amara raised her shoulders, jealousy emanated clearly from the look in her eyes when Bian mentioned the woman's name.

"You have to promise not to like that anymore" said Amara with a slight sulk.

"If it will make you want to consider staying with me, I don't mind if I have to report all my activities to you" Bian said with great relief. "As far as you know, it's not just you and Biandra who need me, but I need you."

Amara's cheeks were hot when she saw Bian smiling warmly, something that managed to make Amara's heart throb.

"Is there anything else I should do for you, honey?"

Amara was silent for a while, concentrating on finishing the rest of her meal first.

"At that time you said that your money was also my money?" amara said as she poured another glass of drinking water. "Can't I ask for something ... mm, but it won't be."

"Say first, what do you need?" Bian caught Amara's hand and squeezed his fingers. His gaze was so warm and pampering. "You want what? If I could give, I would love. Do not hesitate if you have a desire. I'm your husband."

Amara bit her lips, a little scared and embarrassed for her request this time. Worrying Bian would think that he was utilizing the man for various things. Amara sighed, readying herself if Bian objected and rejected her request this time.

"The problem of the cafe that we once discussed," continued Amara rigid. "His rukonya certificate is in my father's. I do not dare to simple valuable things, afraid of cross. You gave it to me .. mm, if I said I still want to continue the cafe business how? You want no modalin?"

"You want work? Want to find a busy? Or do you want a lot of money?" Bian asked bluntly. "If you only want money, want to meet your needs, you do not need to be tired like that. Since I am kabul and take you from your father, you have become my responsibility, all your inner birth needs are sure to be fulfilled. You just have to say what's a—"

"Actually it's not just about my needs" Amara hurriedly added, "If it's a matter of necessity, I believe you must be responsible for me as well as Biandra. But, I thought I wanted to do the same with my family as well. My father is old, do not bear to see the same father mother went to the garden every day. I mean, soon I will graduate High School, another one will enter High School, Trus Fathir will enter Junior High School ..."

Amara bites her lips as tears begin to gather in her eyes. His voice was a little hoarse and vibrating as he continued, "I just don't want them to fail school, because at that time my father said he had cape nyari the cost for school children. I just don't want to be stupid like I never went to school. Don't want them to be insulted and demeaned because ..."

Amara started sobbing as Bian got up from his seat and hugged her. However, he continued, "Because you can't get a job without a diploma. Don't want them to say I'm the one who chose the shortcut. Poor life is tired, living in ignorance is also tired. I just want you to rest at home, if we have a cafe, I can work at the cafe. Apparently, later they can keep school or college with their own money. Would you mind making that cafe?"

Bian held Amara in his arms and kissed the top of her head. In the midst of her brain crisis, Amara still thinks of other things— cares for others instead of herself.

"Any more, honey?" whispered Bian stroking Amara's back, amazed by Amara's maturity at her young age. No wonder Bian fell in love with that woman so many times.

Before Amara answered, the phone in Bian's pants pocket rang. So, he took off his hug and reached into the phone.

Bian did not answer the call because he did not recognize the number, chose to refuse and returned to pocket it— worried that the foreign number was Tiara.

"Why not answer?" Amara pulled out some tissue and stuffed her nose. "From who?"

"Unknown number, udah—"

Bian's speech is interrupted when Amara picks up Bian's phone before the man pockets it.

"We are hp tukeran," said Amara to make Bian stunned.

"Why should a tuckeran?"

"Aren't you?" Amara looked up with a cherry-red nose. "The objection is that if you just use my Gemini blackberry, while I grab your i-phone? Don't like cheap hp?"

"Not that, dear," Bian said as he rubbed his nape helplessly. "But my number is important for work—"

"I'm not your girlfriend and the card is like the one you used to do!" sahut Amara is serious. "I need to be sure that you're not the macem behind me. So, we're hp for a month."

"Ra, but I—"

"Why? Afraid a girl called you? Still mind?"