The Not To Be Regrettable

13. The Guilt of a Father

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"Pa, sorryin-"

"Get in the room, Valle!" cut Gerald while kneading his temple.

The news he had just heard really shook his emotions. Feelings of anger, disappointment, at once guilty, gathered into one. He thought, he had given his best for the princess only wayangnya, but it turns out he was wrong. He wasn't good enough to educate his only daughter.

"Vallery admitted wrong, Pa."

"Papa said get into the room, Valle. Love Papa time to digest all this! Papa please!"

Hearing the tone of the Papa who sounded like he was pleading, making the guilt of Very even greater. He wanted to hug his father, but he said. Submissively, he immediately got up from his sitting position and immediately went upstairs after putting down a piece of his ultrasound photo.

After making sure his daughter went upstairs, he just grabbed a photo of the ultrasound that Valery left behind. Both of Gerald's eyes suddenly heated up, his heart felt like it was squeezed firmly. His feelings were shattered into pieces. It needs to be calmed down now. Without thinking, he then grabbed his phone and contacted someone.

When the connection is connected, he is silent. Not saying a word, his lips felt faint just to greet the lover.

"Hello, Mum?"

Gerald was silent.

"Mas, what's wrong? Why just shut up? You don't worry me, Mom." Riana could not hide her worried feelings.

Gerald cleared his throat, trying to control his still-chaotic feelings. "Have you returned from Bogor?"

"Mas, don't talk!" riana's voice slightly raised in annoyance, "yes, I've returned from Bogor. Just happened, what's wrong? Are you fighting again with Vallery? I told you, Vallery's age is being difficult to say, you can more succumb, right?"

Unknowingly Gerald chuckled at Riana's nagging, if I may be honest he missed her. "I miss you. Mind if I go to your apartment?"

Silent. Riana did not answer him immediately. Gerald waited anxiously.

"Forget it!" gerald said afterwards, because he felt bad if he had to burden his lover.

"You don't have to ask, Mom, if you want to come here. Just come here, don't ask. Just tell me let me go straight down to pick you up," said Riana kalem.

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not. Which woman would mind visiting her boyfriend? Nothing, Mom, they're gonna be happy. It's just that you need to tell me first, at least so I can get ready."

"Would you like to dress up before you meet me?" gerald Goda.

"How do you think? I didn't dance?" Riana asked back, intending to tease the lover.

Gerald laughed and then shook spontaneously. "No need, I prefer your plain face without make up."

"Mas think I'll believe it? If the fact Mas always ngomel every time we want to meet a client, continue to make up I fade a little. I forgot?" Riana grimaced not believing in the flailing of the lover.

"That's definitely different, Riana. If we meet clients, we must appear neat so that clients are more confident. If it's just the two of you, I actually prefer your plain face. I do not like it if you want to nyium you have to be blocked foundation or lipstick and his friends. I hate all of that. So, can it be if we date you don't have to wear make up?"

Across Riana was broken. "When do we go on a date? Really go specifically for dating?"

"Never?" Gerald asked back in astonishment.

"Yet. So, why talk? Buruan Mas change clothes and leave. I'm waiting for you."

"All right, I'm getting ready first. I'll be on the phone later."

"OKAY. See you!"

"See you too!"

As soon as he finished calling, Gerald immediately went from the sofa to his room to change clothes. After he finished he looked for the whereabouts of Bik Jum in the kitchen. He was a little surprised when he found his domestic assistant squatting near the dining table while crying bitterly.

"Bik," call Gerald in doubt.

"Yes, Sir?" Bik Jum immediately wiped both of his cheeks hurriedly and stood up.

Gerald sighed, he guessed that Bik Jum must have heard their conversation earlier. "I'm going out, please take care of Vallery, yeah. Don't give permission to go out the night." He tried to be as calm as possible.

Bik Jum nodded obediently. "Good, sir."

"Please close the gate, yes, as soon as my car gets out of the house" said Gerald.

Once again, Bik Jum nodded obediently. "Good, sir."

"Yes, come on!" invite Gerald because Bik Jum never tailed. Only after hearing his invitation earlier did Bik Jum start tailing behind him.

"I'll probably be home late at night, so make sure all the doors are locked. I brought a spare key," said Gerald while installing his seatbelt.

"Good, Sir. Be careful on the road."

"Hm. I'll go first."

\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=

"I'm in the lobby. Can you come down now, please,? I can't ride because I don't have access."

Once in the lobby of Riana's apartment, Gerald immediately called Riana.

"Wait a minute, I'm in the elevator."

"Okay, I wait."

Gerald turned off his phone and sat down on the couch in the lobby. Shortly after, Riana came and went straight to him.

"Old?" ask Riana to make small talk.

Gerald shook his head. "No" he answered briefly.

Riana grimaced. Looks like the mood of the lover is really not good. Although Gerald tried to cover it up, but he was sure that his lover was trying to hide his chaotic feelings. Inner Riana guessed.

"Go up, yuk!" take Riana later.

Gerald nodded in agreement and tailed behind Riana.

"Berantem same Vallery, huh?" riana asked as the two of them got into the elevator.

Gerald was silent for a moment while thinking, he then looked at Riana. "May I speak it later if I am happy?" the question looked like it was begging.

Trying to understand, Riana nodded no problem.

Then the mood was silent. Gerald was busy with his own thoughts, while Riana was busy glancing towards the lover who looked bad.

"Can you hug?" gerald asked suddenly breaking the silence.

"We're still in the elevator, are we? There's a CCTV camera." Riana pointed towards the cctv.

Gerald nodded when he realized it. Then unexpectedly, he grabbed Riana's hand and grasped it tightly.

"If this is the case, can it?"

Riana smiled. "Can. I also don't forbid you to hug me, Mas. I let you hug, or even if you hold me, I can hug you."

"No, I'm not comfortable hugging in the elevator. I'll hug you when we get there" Gerald replied, "some of it is less free here if you want more" he added later.

Riana only chuckled while nodding.

\=\=\=\=!!\=\=\=\=

"Do you want to make coffee?" bargain Riana. He walked straight into his minimalist kitchen, while Gerald sat leaning against the sofa in the living room. His arms he used to cover his face. From the kitchen Riana could guess that Gerald's problem this time was quite serious.

"No coffee! I'm afraid I can't sleep later."

"Tea?"

"That can be too. Just one spoon."

"Huh?"

"One big spoon" added Gerald as he looked up at the kitchen. He smiled faintly, teasing the lover.

"No," said Riana, "sugar is expensive. Two little spoons are enough."

"Relinquents. I'll change, Riana. I bought a lot of sugar." Gerald pretended to put on a sulking face.

But Riana still shook her head firmly. "No, Mas. Too much sugar can make you get diabetes later, I still want to get married and have kids."

Hearing Riana's reply, Gerald chuckled. "Who wants to get married and have children, not you. I've been married and had a child, Riana, if you forget."

"Mas," Riana called out to cut Gerald's sentence, "your goal is to come here to end our relationship, huh?" ask her with an offended tone. More precisely he pretended to be offended, because he already knew Gerald enough.

Instead of panicking, Gerald laughed quite loudly. "Why do you think so?"

Riana was silent with her pouting expression.

Gerald smiled and said, "Come here!" while patting the sofa, instructing her lover to immediately sit next to her.

With a still sullen expression, Riana then approached Gerald and put down her cup of tea, then sat down.

"Close!" gerald's instructions were because his lover was sitting far away from him.

With resignation, Riana shifted her body to be closer to Gerlad, according to her lover's instructions.

Gerald then grabbed onto Riana's shoulder. "Riana, haven't I told you that my age is not suitable for playing in a relationship? I really want to marry you. Don't you see my sincerity?"

"Then what about your daughter?"

"We're trying to negotiate."

"Will it work?"

"Maybe."

"You look dubious, Mum."

"I'll make you happy, Riana" Gerald said.

Riana silent. Both of his eyes stared intensely at Gerald, trying to guess what exactly his lover was facing right now. His mind kept wondering.

"Riana," call Gerald slowly. He looked at his lover with a gentle expression, made Riana's banquet wither away and now he felt a little wary.

According to him, Gerald is not a romantic man who likes to look at his lover with this kind of gentle expression. Usually if the man does that, there will be something serious that the man wants to express. Suddenly his feelings were mixed.

"Why, Mas?" ask Riana worried.

"You think we better get married or Vallery?"

Riana was silent for a moment, digesting Gerald's sentence. "Bag!!" call Riana jerking, after she realizes the purpose of the lover's words. Spontaneously he distanced his body from the embrace of the lover. Both of Riana's eyes glared sharply at Gerald. Demand an explanation from the lover.

"What are you talking about?" riana looked annoyed.

"That might be our negotiation, Riana. Vallery will give his blessing, as long as I marry him to his girlfriend." Gerrad's tone shook slightly. Feelings of unwillingness, anger, disappointment, and guilt again filled his brain.

Riana approached and grasped Gerald's large arm and stroked the back of her hand slowly.

"Mas, you don't have to do this. Don't be rash, I'll patiently wait-"

"But the baby isn't, Riana." Gerald looked desperate and frustrated.

"B.baby? Whose baby do you mean?"

Gerald budged. He closed his eyes and breathed a tired sigh.

"Mas," call Riana starting to worry.

"Vallery... My daughter is pregnant, Riana. What should I do?"

"Mas," called Riana to be sad.

She shifted her body to get closer to Gerald, then with a swift movement, Riana hugged Gerald while patting her lover's shoulder. Hoping to calm down Gerald's mood.

"What should I do, Riana? I feel like I've been a bad father to my daughter. I failed to be a good Papa for Veryery. I failed to educate him. What the-"

"Alright, Mom! It's not entirely your fault," Riana cut still trying to appease Gerald, "you've tried everything you can. You keep Papa's pride in Vallery, I'm sure of it, Mas."

"Then what should I do now? What are we supposed to do? We have to get married, Riana, but Vallery and her boyfriend have to get married too?"

Riana silent. To be honest he himself was also confused, moreover he was still a little shocked by the news he had just heard. His brain is still trying to digest all this.

"Later we try to find a solution together, Mas," said Riana trying to calm down. Now the important thing is that you calm yourself first, Mas. You are not alone, there is still me. Okay?"

Gerald nodded obediently. "Thank you" he said sincerely.

"No problem," Riana replied while trying to smile.

God, why is everything so complicated. Inner Riana started to get frustrated.

Tbc,