The Love of the Widow

Chapter 34. Pulang Kampung's

My life feels meaningless.

The pain of losing Randy and Ainara still can't get out of my mind.

Two more weeks ahead of the fast.

I will spend the fast and the Feast with my parents.

I sat on the back porch of the house while waiting for magrib time.

I took my little blue diary again.

again I chalked up the bitter feeling that continues to be my friend now.

"My wounds are fixed on the day that the moon and the sun keep changing.

My pain is evidence of a deep loss in your passing.

Really am... Not because I am not pleased with all the messages that have been determined.

But I am just a human being with a heart.

Strenghten.. Strengthen Me...!!!

Missed you... My hall...

Missed you... My beloved husband."

I closed the diary in my hand.

I sweep unstoppable tears on my cheeks.

"Astagfirulah... Strengthen Me O ALLAH..!!" whispered in my heart.

"Aina. soon magrib, I want to go to the mosque. Are you coming or not?" ask Mom to me.

"Yes Buk, Aina's coming! wait a minute Aina get ready!!" I said to Mom as I hurried to get some water.

In my village, the atmosphere of the fasting month and Hari Raya is one thing that is very extraordinary.

The whole community greeted cheerfully.

Especially children.

Every month the fast arrives, there will be a shocked market in the front field of the mosque Bitul Taqarrub which is not far from our home.

Various snacks are sold there.

The market will begin to open ba'da ashar until before magrib arrives.

I became one of the people selling there.

I helped her prepare some traditional cakes that she would sell later in the afternoon.

From the start of getuk cake, serabi cake, yam talam cake and lastly a wide variety of cendol.

"Wish the sell-out yes..!!" he said with a smile.

"Aamiin. inshaa ALLAH. Mother's cake will taste good!!" I said while kissing her spoiled.

Fasting this time is full of advice about life for me.

Every night after the prayers of tarawih we hold a joint study for the Qur'an.

And I became one of them.

After studying I always take the time to discuss in private with the ustad or ustazah who guide the study.

There was so much advice that finally calmed my heart.

The advice that made me understand how much life I was living was only temporary.

advice that finally restores the spirit of my life to get back up from the slump.

****

The voice sounded so beautiful in my ears.

I recalled how beautiful the Feast I had with my husband and son was.

I came back crying.

"Happy feast my dear husband... Happy feast, my dear son.... I miss your laughter so much." I whispered in my heart.

Immediately I wipe the tears that flowed when Mother entered my room and invited me to immediately go to the mosque to pray Eid al-Fitr.

When we finished praying, we shook hands with each other.

some of my friends at High School also prayed the same meajid.

"Aina. the day after tomorrow there is a grand reunion at SMA at 10.00 wib. You're not coming?" ask my classmate Yati first.

"Not knowing Yat, the feeling is lazy ah." I said in reply.

" Came yuk... Friendship with teachers and friends.. I'll pick you up at 10?" her word again to me.

"All right." I answered briefly.

"Naahh.. gitu dong, how do you know we can mate again there.. right??" he said with g

laughingly.

I just returned with a smile.

Yati is a widow of two children.

She separated from her ex-husband two years ago.

Reportedly her husband was having an affair with a neighbor next door to his house.