The Fate Or Destiny

Eps. 32. Think Aja...

At night, it was so dark outside. There are rolling power outages in the city because there are power plants that are in trouble. And in the region of Wenang this is the second time this week. Keke turned on the big flashlight in the children's room, outside he just lit a candle.

"Via... before going to bed do not forget to rub his teeth again yes, then Via forgot right?"

"Yes but later, Via is almost done..."

"Still need Keke's mom's help?"

"Not again... Via can be this one alone..."

Keke came out of the children's room to the balcony, standing watching the night atmosphere. Lisya had just fallen asleep and Via was still finishing PR, while Rommel was still hanging out at the store. Outside there is a small light from every house. From where Keke stands there is also a house that looks bright because it uses a generator.

Keke thought about buying a small unit. He has 1 freezer box big enough to store meat and fish, 2 large size refrigerator on the lower floor and another medium size one on the upper floor. Everything is always full, if the electricity goes out long enough it must affect the freshness of foodstuffs.

"Sweety..."

Benaya had suddenly joined Keke on the balcony. Keke was a little surprised...

"Eh...??"

Benaya held Keke's head then stood parallel to Keke on the balcony leaning on the side of the airy balcony no flower pots. Keke shifted to give distance, it was really tight, Ben's hand finally released. Ben smiles at Keke's reaction, his girl sometimes still likes to spontaneously move away when he makes physical contact.

"Not slept yet?"

"Not sleepy... Did you eat?"

"Basar cook yes... who asked always have eaten yet?"

Benaya twitch Keke's cheeks.

"Yes.it's spontaneous..."

"But if I pay attention to the most people meeting here the same question... have not eaten yet?"

"It's a habit, it's a way of saying hello, a way of being friendly. When meeting a friend is not asking how is it, but the question is, have you eaten yet? Sometimes the truth is."

"Yes, too, remember once visited the village papa, I forgot where the tree here. We stopped by one of papa's cousins to go home detained, saying don't go home for dinner first. Yes, we did not go home, sit down again chat lamaaa. I thought at that time...When did I eat it? Finally we say yes, eh cousin papa say again, want to eat first why would you want to go home? Lah.. from earlier we've been waiting for how many hours tuh food not out, it turns out the pleasantries doang... hahaha..."

"That's it here, Brother Bens is also here..."

"I. mmh.. I'm the spoiled one..."

"Eh? Not connecting..."

"Manja is Manado-Java."

"Oh..."

"Hahaha.kirain you want to laugh, hahh my girlfriend is very expensive smile as she laughs."

Ben who tried to joke just laughed himself. Keke small grin responded. He stood comfortably looking at the star-filled sky, so it looked really beautiful. Something that is rarely noticed gives the impression of amazing when every night the sky is the same, the stars are always there. Keke's eyes looked for flickers of light at the furthest point his eyes could catch, then turned to the point of light closest to the brightest star, his eyes exploring enjoying the night sky in silence.

Benaya notices Keke, the blurry silhouette of Keke's face due to the bright reflection of candles from inside the room near the balcony door so an exotic sight for Ben, like seeing a softness wrapped in a cold attitude, like a softness, there was cheerfulness and warmth but it was camouflaged by an attitude that rarely spoke.

"Mirror..."

"Yes..what..."

"It's okay, just talk, there's no sound..."

"Eh? Bens' sister just said what, whatever..."

"Ok ok. answer me if I ask yes..."

"Yes..."

"Emmh.. Today, why..."

"Routine work."

"Emmm... Yica's fussy not today..."

"Yes still. Fussy funny anyway, mastiin kak Bens did not turn into ants, papi Bipi butan fir continues to be talked about a few days."

"Hehehe. children's logic sometimes we can't reach."

"I told him to call Omen again. uh he didn't want to, not Omen. It was papi, so he said..."

"You know why he's like that?"

"Why?"

"He needs papa's figure. A child's language is sometimes meaningless, but it is actually an expression of his heart. Why would he not want to replace papi with Omen, because he knew from the beginning Omen was om not papa. Do you know?"

"Yes..."

Keke replied wistfully, saddened by this condition, the children's papa did not want to approach even the last did not want to claim to be papa. What he should do for the children... Keke remembered someone now, who was so eager to be recognized as the father he said he always remembered him. Something touched his heart, had he ever been rejected as a child? Why in his childhood did he never look for her?

"I understand this when Paul left, the kids lost their papa figures, they got close to me... Yica same Via is also so directly close to me. because it was earlier. And plainly they. When there is a papa figure to someone they do not hesitate to approach."

Keke, who listened to Ben's words, saw this for a long time, the kids quickly got along with Ben. Sometimes he feels too that the kids treat Ben like a papa, so he lets Ben around them. But he didn't think that kids really needed papa figures.

"Mirror..."

"Yes..."

"You're the opposite of them, you doang yoyo-like. Here.so girlfriend really don't understand what I want..."

Ben pulled Keke's hand inside.

"Where are you going?"

"Not going anywhere, moving place doang, aching my legs long standing there."

Ben pulls Keke towards the sofa, more comfortable here and freer to hold the girlfriend.

"Eh..."

The opposite of Ben who seemed to enjoy the room with minimal illumination, Keke's heart began to worry, he was in Ben's close embrace, Ben, he felt uncomfortable sitting together again with just the light of a candle. Ben's breath was so pronounced on his left cheek.

"When do you have a day off besides Sunday? Your red date is still working..."

"My work counts 1 week 6 days..."

"There's no holiday? You're the one who's doing it yourself..."

"There's a brother, stupid name if you can't take a day off."

"When?"

Ben played Keke's finger in his hand, rubbed, folded until the sound came out...

"Aww. sakiit..."

Keke's voice was slightly choked, a fad very similar to a finger...

"Hehehe... When are you off?"

Keke finally chose to lean comfortably on Benaya's arm, legs he raised to the coffee table following Ben's sitting position, while the girlfriend's hand is still not moved but this time like massaging Keke's left hand slowly.

"Usually the last week of December and early January..."

"That's his holiday?"

"Yes... why?

"Pengen take you to Jakarta to meet mama papa..."

"Oh..."

"Oh aja? This child...emang yaa basic, do not want to know why?"

"Don't..."

The sound that comes out of the mouth of one word, different from the voice that plays in the heart, a lot of guesses there. Keke was so afraid Benaya began to go in the direction that he meant in a direction that had clearly been taken in a serious direction for their relationship.

Ben lost the word, sensing something in Keke's short answer. His intuition said that Keke still rejected such talk. Keke is very sensitive, if forced Keke attitude will soon turn stiff again and away.

"When was the last time there?"

"never..."

"When Dinand was concerned you weren't there?"

"Oh... Did Dinand get married? Same with Youla?"

"Yes.2 or 3 years ago. Who has forgotten."

"Sir Bens was present at the time?"

"Yes, papa's mother was Dinand's parent's guardian. You guys weren't invited?"

"Son't.we've lost that contact since I got home."

"Oh.. that's..."

Silence again... Benaya's mind and heart are fighting, when Keke can be spoken to about the intentions in his heart, what try yes, maybe their relationship will never develop in a more intimate direction.

"Sweety..."

"..."

"Darling..."

Benaya gently pricked Keke's arm that he hadn't taken off since.

"Eh. yeah..."

"I can talk seriously about you. Don't respond first, I want you to think about it first... Emmh, can you sweetie?"

"What?"

Keke's soft voice trembled slightly.

"I want her to be together until the end of my life. I've never felt this strong feeling in another woman, just as you're just this feeling continues to grow... kangen keeps on knowing..."

Benaya stopped saying. He gives a kiss on Keke's left cheek also on Keke's head. His right hand pulled Keke's head towards the chest of his field. He wants Keke to understand the affection he has for Keke, he wants Keke to accept his touch as a form of affection for Keke.

Ben learns Keke has never dated before other than the monkey love in High School he knew, so Keke is like a stranger to the physical touch of a man on his lover. It could also be because the two of them used to be in frequent physical contact but in a much different sense... Ben often nicks Keke's head, often pulling Keke's hand rough because of emotion.

"Rens..I have a big desire for both of us in the future.We are not only dating but we are moving on to the next stage... thinking of the future with me?"

Silence.Just the breath of the two of them sounded for a moment. Benaya tried to find out Keke's response by squeezing Keke's left hand fingers that had been in his grasp since. Keke's head position has not changed, his hands are still comfortable Benaya's grip, passive indeed, but it's something for Ben, it's a sign Keke did not refuse and will not stay away.

"Think of that, baby, I won't force you to answer... I love you. Iang bangeet..."

Keke's chest rumbled, over and over again he heard the expression of a Benaya's love. But just a moment ago, the statement was like paving the way for his fear of a marriage, yes... Ben was telling her to think about marriage, right? The bad shadow of her mother's marriage, her sister's marriage is so attached. He was afraid of being left out...

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Think of the people who love us....

that's aja.... 🤭🥰

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