The Beautiful Cheating
New Mission
El and I still speak a thousand languages. The debate that took place a few hours ago is quite draining my energy that has not fully recovered. I feel like I no longer have face, no longer have the courage to be in a relationship with El. In my heart I asked, should I just go back to Ali Suprapto? Meet him and follow all his rules? But am I willing to face his crazy treatment? Remembering Maya alone made my fear of the old man even greater.
"Until when are you going to be like this, Seika? Is it still lacking, proof of my love for you? Is this how you feel about me?" El started to open his voice. Now, what I hear is no more tenderness, but cold and piercing.
"Please, give me some time. Let me digest all the facts I just knew. Knowing you were killed was a very heavy wound for me. Knowing the father of a murderer is like a curse to me. I'm sure, not a few people would label me as the son of a murderer if they knew the truth." Yeah, I'm desperate. I no longer have a burning spirit like my reckless plan to Jakarta yesterday.
El shook his head slowly. There was a look of regret implied on his stern and handsome face. "How can I stay away from you, while you're like this? You're here by yourself, honey. Stupid time with our family past. Because what we're going to face is the future. We will not be forever entangled with the past, it will only create distance between us" he said.
"Yes, right. Unfortunately, it's not that easy. I need some time to make my own right now. Please, understand my feelings, brother," I said, accompanied by tears that burst along with the pounding blows I just felt.
"Cannot. I don't want you to leave here in this state of yours. Let me go, okay," she pleaded. It makes me feel guilty at the same time. But my emotions are unstable, I just need to be alone.
Long story short, I finally approved El Barrack's proposal. And I don't know where El lives.
Not felt, I have been alone in this masculine house. I don't know where El Barrack slept for the two days I was here. Yeah, I haven't seen Nina and El in two days. Two days later, I refused Ninda's call, arguing that she was still busy. I was just not ready to see my father's face. The face that I knew was friendly, cheerful, thoughtful, and nurturing was once a murderer.
Not running away from reality, I still have to compose sentences so as not to sound hurtful and judgmental in the ears of the father later. Anyway, I still love that old man. I love him more than I love myself.
Even these two days El has no visit or just ask for news of goods though. I'm saturated, it turns out very lonely living a kara like this. Indeed, there is Ma'am Atik and Kang Toyik in this house. But they are just workers. It's so hard to interact freely with them, for some reason.
In the middle of my reflection that only made the chest more tight, I suddenly remembered with Juragan Ali. Where is he now? Not to worry about him, it's just .. If he doesn't exist isn't it good for my main mission to come to this metropolis?
I got the idea to go to that house and find my phone and make sure my madmen are in shape. Before the mission, I first thought carefully about the risks if my mission failed. Also a backup plan that I have to do later.
I, who had an above average level of recklessness, decided later in the afternoon to move. That's if El Barrack doesn't come here. If El comes, I'm sure you know the outcome.
