Tafakur Love Mualaf

PSG

The awaited time has finally arrived, the scope of the school has passed. We all prepare ourselves, intern at PT. The glow. Eli and I left early in the morning, but were at a friend's boarding house first. Ichi and Lianti interned at Taspen's office, which was in the city of Jambi. All the students and students gathered, in the courtyard of Ima's mother's house. They are busy with photos with Mr. Mizi. I did not follow, choosing to sit on a rock. Reluctant to join together, because I am not an important person. It's a joke, because some people don't like me.

”Sick beyond measure, seeing Rulif dodging me. At least if he wants to stay away please, but no need to waste face. I'm like a disgusting fly, and you're so scared of getting hit by his germs.” My inner self.

Eli and I just found out, it turned out to go to Sinar Berseri village using a motorbike. While leaving, Eli and I were escorted. Aluna brought her own motor, but could not shake her hand. Eli hitchhiked with Ulia, and I was forced to call my father. With clear eyes I saw, Rulif and Yura brought their respective motors. However, I refused to hitchhike.

”Why, why don't you intern in town. I really want to forget about you, even if I don't know if it will work or not. I don't want to kick you out, Rulif, but I'm like a transparent being in your life. As invisible, though there is actually my inner.”.

I just saw him in the distance, it was hard for me to reach him. I knew enough myself that I was exiled. Mother Ima got rid of me, but it was not balanced in my heart. If only it could disappear, I would like to ask Rulif to go as far as possible. I didn't want to catch a glimpse of him, but couldn't rebuke him or be friends. It would be greatly tormented, beyond his insensitive heart.

Ulia offered me to go with her, and I accepted. While Eli was chatting with Rulif, he did not hitchhike with Ulia. I resigned myself, to go with Ulia. As far as I know, my heart is focused. I thought of a way, so as not to meet Rulif. I am a difficult person to let go of feelings, but maybe a person who can not come back after mengikhlaskan. Especially at that moment, my heart was forced to let go. Can't relax as freely as I can, but liking is my business. Not the business of Rulif's friends, or anyone else.

I was with Surti and Aluna and Ibu Ay, heading to PT. Garden office light. Eli, Ulia, Rulif, and Yura are part of the factory office. I really want to scream, express my heart. But I don't know, I have to complain to who this disbelief is. I've poured everything out on God, and asked to keep it away from Rulif if it wasn't the best.

In silence I was stunned, left by Ay's mother after the introductory session. The people in the garden office are friendly, the workers are really nice. We were taught how to input, harvest foreman reports, and so on. He was also told to scan the paper, so we get his knowledge. I felt relieved, a little forgetting my sadness. A day there, much better. Sometimes I deliberately looked for a gap, not to cross paths with Rulif. Since our office is quite far away, it won't be able to meet either. The days went on well, only at the beginning of the internship did we meet.

"Firsya, you don't sleep in mes?" ask Meta.

"No Ma'am." I replied.

"I often see two men, and two women in mes" Mikaila said.

My heart can't lie, it just loves Rulif. If he can be removed, I want to throw it away. At least I don't have to keep the load. Not being ungrateful for this gift, but loving alone is not a good thing. I was plagued with some living beings, because of the sense that now settles in my heart.

If you fall in love with your eyes, you can forget when you don't see them. But if you are in love, know that it is difficult to forget even though it is invisible. As I have now, we have not seen each other for a long time. We never communicate, but still the heart loves him. The mind asks to forget, but it cannot. I chose not to force it. Let it disappear on its own, as time passes.

I had a feeling that I would love him until I graduated from school. Forgetting Rulif, just like wanting to slash his own skin. It's hard for me to take it off, even though I've worked so many times. Until I got hurt, cried bloody, got the curse of falling in love. I will not love her in silence anymore, I will love her in sincerity. Stay afloat, even if it releases.

”I don't know with my heart, why he can't keep up with my mind. Why does he still want you, though my mind asks to go as far as possible. Why should there be this feeling, when you are called love. I just want to find the busyness that I like, without having to make you focused.” my inner.

Once, I saw Rulif, Yura, Ulia, and Eli walking, right in front of the garden office. I got out of the way as quickly as I could, without throwing a smile. I intentionally did not want to meet him. Let Sakim, Ido, Riyadi, and other friends be satisfied, seeing Firsya who is considered to be deceptive away from Rulif. I went back into the garden office, when the workers were no longer there. They're all out, for lunch. I cry in my seat usually. No one knows, because the office is deserted.

A few days later, a woman approached me. He told me to write on the paper, and I went to his room. He smiled at me, the guy was so friendly. Her name is Jannah, I often call her mbak.

"Firsya, your writing is very good." he praised, smiling.

"Thank you Ma'am." I threw a smile too.

”My ideas have indeed become book authors, stringing together meaningful words in my life. And so, I kept fighting to get it. Now I'm in the process, Firsya spirit. Prove to the world that you are worthy of love. Spirit, you can definitely succeed. God has seen how sad your school days are. And you have to be sure, that a great gift in the future awaits. He cannot abandon his servant, who is earnest yet persecuted inwardly.”

When school came home, I drove my bike home. Riding it with medium strength, very careful because of the muddle. Sometimes I think, when I'm in a columnar table. Will I be retained, if it becomes a burden of equipment shrinkage. Just imagine, I will definitely be replaced. It is not impossible, time also changes new equipment for you. Equipment that should enter your life. Assist with your every move, treading through all accounts in the report table.