Tafakur Love Mualaf

Misunderstand

I was reprimanded in the library on Saturday. Though the original intention, I just wanted to walk with Eli. Why am I restless, feeling an unpleasant feeling. Especially when a student says, I called Ima's mother to the library.

"Firsya here, approaching. There's something I want to talk about." said Ima's mother.

With hesitant footsteps, I walked closer. "What's wrong, ma'am?"

"Firsya, you will soon be an apprentice, you can't if you get sick. Maybe you will be put in the business center" he replied.

"Mom, can't I choose an internship, like the rest of my friends?" askaku expectantly.

"It's not like that Firsya. When you intern at a school practice, you will get an assessment from the teacher. In the world of work, you have to enter every day. It can't be half a day, sometimes it can be until the afternoon." he said.

"Double System Practice (PSG) isn't a little long, about a few months away. Now in month two, I may be healed." I replied.

"Firsya's spirit, changed from now on. I see you rarely smile, often bow your head. You don't blend in, with the others. About love just relax, if the match will surely meet. Like Mama and Mizi." said Ima's mother.

"Yes, Mom." Smiling covers the sadness.

The deg!

My heart refused, I did not want to practice in school alone. It seemed, my heart caught up faster to what was about to happen. I feel like after this day I won't be okay. Mom misunderstood me. Looks like there's a mouth twisting the facts, I have to figure out what I think.

"Alright, if your situation improves. We will set it back." said Ima's mother.

"Yes, Mom." Answering briefly.

”Bu, you're even far from my expectations. You blame me, like I

heartache is entirely due to love. Do you know, I'm your protege. Can't, I'm asking for a little protection. You didn't even ask me at all, why I didn't want to blend in. Do you think I like to be alone, I want to have a lot of friends. Hua... hiks... hiks...” inner me.

Eli doesn't know anything, I'm the only one who understands my own feelings. I was the only one who cried silently by myself. I entered the classroom, with tears still standing. When explained it will be very complicated, so I choose silence. I wanted to make it a book, a story I've been through.

I saw people in class, joking around with friends. Sakim, Ido, Riyadi and Ansyah were also there. If it's not based on patience, maybe I can destroy the whiteboard. And the worst possibility of forgetting yourself, which is throwing chairs at the intended person.

I took my foot out of the classroom, and saw Rulif throwing his face away. I thought he really hated me. Just like the letter on the table, which I found a few months ago. In the cursing letter stated that he was the sender. There also revealed, a sad thing in my heart.

"Your face is sinister, making me always imagined. O angel from the flood, I was frightened and ran in tears. Ugly, dirty, blah..."

It was more or less the content of the letter, and the point was insulting. Deeply, I want to prove the truth. I also wanted to find out who had complained to Ima's mother.

”Am I so disgusting like that, that you threw your face away when you saw me Rulif. It turns out that you, like Mother Ima, don't trust me at all. Or maybe you're just pretending not to know. Because you prefer your friends, compared to me this.” my inner.

Truly finding a deep lara, I cried when I came home. I took ablution water, and cried after prayer. I complained about all my unexplainable heart. Don't know how many tears I've spilled, as long as I'm in class with them.

I really wanted to prove if he was the author of the letter. I can only go through social media, because if I ask directly will make the center of attention. I ventured that time I dispelled the prestige, and added him as a friend. But unexpectedly, a few minutes later there was a white sign. I can't ask for any more friendship with him, before it's confirmed. I asked the Facebook center for help, apparently because he blocked the friend request.

I am not an angel, I cannot be a prophet. Maybe Siti Maryam's desperation, like my desperation back then. Being ostracized, slandered, underrated for years is no easy feat. If there is anyone you consider most patient, bring him before me in the present, I thought. I wrote status not a pearl word anymore, with no disguise at all.

"Rulif Cakraandas, you're really evil. You can block my Facebook, I hate you."

Why I dare to put it on Facebook. I was really hurt, for the insults on that paper. I think it was really Rulif, who wrote it for me. I feel like I'm on the edge, if I don't scream for help I'm going to fall. I wish anyone would listen to me, rather than ask why and blame my actions. My body curled up on the bed, the teardrops kept flowing. Love claps one hand, not worth the pain of being pitted against sheep, slandered, and belittled.

Within minutes, hundreds of likes flooded my account. The status I made earlier, yes the status about Rulif.

”I'll go, hope you're much happier. I admit defeat, before fighting took your heart. I'll never start again, once I've finished it. Later after graduating from school, I will try not to meet you. As much as I can, as hard as I try. Except, for the matter of fixing the friendship. If at any time God deliberately brought together, I would avoid. If at any time the circumstances turn back to being you who love, I promise I will refuse even if my age is enough to get married. I promise, I'll turn you down. I won't, I definitely won't. I promise I will refuse, I promise myself.” my inner.

I know why my head is spinning. It might also be because of this complicated matter, because I was at a dead end. I didn't find any bright spots at all. I faced the storm alone, until it was worthless. Even in life, for the first time I was sick for a long time. From the beginning, two months happened.