Tafakur Love Mualaf

Cornered

A few days later, I went to school. My face is getting tangled, my eyes look swollen from crying all night. Because what? Because God must meet me, with Sakim and Ido again. I thought they wouldn't be in accounting class. Although I was not healed, I forced myself to go to school. I don't want to miss any further lessons.

"Firsya, I have something to talk about. Come to the side of the class." invite Rahma.

"All right." Answering briefly.

I shook my head, followed him out of the room. I went to the side of the class, along with Rahma.

"Firsya, you have defamed Rulif. He was told by his brother to change schools." said Rahma.

"Because he blocked my Facebook, when I asked for a friendship" I replied briefly.

Suddenly the class leader appeared, and his friends. Their company is what I do not know, what his heart is like.

"You are selfish, just thinking about your own feelings. That's Rulif's right, if he wants to block you." said Iska.

"That means he hates me." I replied.

”It also proves, that the letter on the table is the sender. He's the one who chided me, half dead. Why do you all seem to judge me, and then the first troublemaker why not be judged?" my inner.

"She does not hate, just ilfeel the same as you." said Rahma.

"Here you go, all of you defend him." replied I, who was emotionally stirred.

"Hih, arguably even good he said belain the doi." said Rahma.

Suddenly Tiya came. "What's this?"

"Please tell Rulif, I'm sorry. I was wrong, selfish." If you are disappointed, give up.

Tiya went into the classroom, then a few minutes later came back out. "He said he was sorry, but stay away from him."

”Hmmm... If not the school environment, maybe right now, I will clash my mouth to the end. No matter what, with anyone's judgment. Because the only one who knows what really happened is me and my own heart. Who started it? Who spread my feelings to Rulif? Who suffers, if you know the story from the beginning. Who is oppressed and humiliated every day? Who is secretly crying? Who does not study quietly? What status have I written, comparable to the suffering all this time? In your eyes is finished, in my inner eyes never ridha. Before I get justice, I'll get away from all of you.” my inner cry.

I don't want to shed a tear in front of them. I feel like I can make love clap one hand, but I never accept this kind of storyline. I immediately ran towards the palm trees. It looks deserted there, a farm boy's practice. Still ringing in my ear, the speech of Iska the class leader. Since then, I have not believed in the sincerity of love. Even I, too, can't believe the name promise. In fact because the beginning betrayed my best friend, I could collapse helplessly. The problem became big, as it kept the fire burning. It hurt countless times, until I closed my heart. Silently fixated staring at the pond, standing upright on its surface. I don't care, if you think that's not-no. Most importantly, God knows I'm trying to stretch my chest.

If those who oppress me do not pay for it in the world, they will pay for it in the Hereafter. I still cried myself, calling Rara's name so many times. Wishing my best friend in Junior High would come to see me for a moment. He knew I was sick because we were talking on our cell phones. But, he did not know of this complicated matter.

"If there were no Emak Comblang, surely this would never happen. I can love her secretly, without having to experience this. I won't be set aside by Ms. Ima."

"Firsya wait, don't run anymore." Ulia asked.

I stopped my steps, shedding tears. "I want to be alone."

That first-class champion, really good. I could feel her sincerity, because she was the only person who ever grabbed my hand. Although he was often friends with others, but he was not reluctant to be friends with me.

Ulia is approaching. "Firsya, calm yourself."

"They all fought, cornered me alone." I hugged him right away.

”Thank you for ever reaching for my hand, you are an unforgettable friend. You also did it once, when I cried myself behind the toilet.” my inner.

Ulia invited me to sit by the pool, I listened to her well. Quite soothing and sincere impressed, compared to other remarks. Atul had just come with Eli, they were silent because they did not know the problem. They looked astonished, just standing near a rubber tree.

”Will there still be people who believe me, that I cry not because I am crazy about love.” My inner being tormented.

On returning home, Tiya's words ringed in my ears. I remember that statement.

”Alright, I decided to stay away from everything. Because here it's fair to stay away from anyone involved. I will never ask for friendship again, until you ask for it yourself. It might also take a long time, to confirm my inner friendship request.”.

I started deleting Facebook accounts one by one, although I was really sorry about the account. Many photos of memories together, but I had to burn. I want to calm down, without seeing them again. Without playing social media, without seeing them milling again.

I won't call Rara, after all she's busy with her own world. From that moment on, I hope full of God. I want to hold on to love tightly, but not to creatures. Only love for God will never end painfully. I opened the bookcase, read the stories of the prophets. Fondling at each paragraph, then I drugged into it.

The story of Zulaicha and the prophet Joseph, who really made haru. Ismail's story is truly amazing. The story of Adam, who can provide motivation. Just a few sheets, I put the book to its original place. I put my foot in the kitchen, ate my lunch. My stomach feels hungry, because covering everything takes energy. My mom looks at me who looks moody.

"Firsya, why?" ask Uni.

"It's okay Mak, my head just hurts" Firsya replied.

"Yes, rest first." said Uni.

"Yes Mak." I replied briefly.

It still feels these tears, until when I cry. I intend in my heart to continue it at midnight. Wanted to complain to God to give justice for their actions.