Sons & Daughters

I'm Sorry

"Why am I so stupid that I don't realize it" I said after hearing all the explanations from Fina

"I was confused at first too. Why are you willing to leave the person who has harbored his love for you for 10 years, just for the sake of a man you just knew," Fina told me

"Honestly, I love my son. Loved her. But all this time, I've been deceiving myself. I just don't want him to regret being with me."

"That's impossible! Look Princess, it should be me who regrets having been a hindrance to you two. Now you'd better be honest with yourself," exclaimed Fina trying to wake me up

"Who is the first person you imagine when you hear the word love."

"Who will always listen to your complaints, even if it's just a trivial thing."

"Who's the one you've been waiting for all this time. Who hah who!" The questions Fina asked me made me reflect back.

***

The necklace that Reyhan gave me, I wanted to fill up quickly. What's the point of keeping something from people you don't really love. It will only make you sick. Regret and sadness, out of concern. The necklace, I immediately let go and I keep it in the drawer. I'm a stupid woman. I'm not being honest with myself. Why is that simple word, I can't say when dealing with you. "I love you Son" I muttered as I slept in my dream.

***

I dream of something beautiful. About a precious memory of me with the Son. Which I've forgotten all along. Back when I was in 6th grade, Son secretly put a glass of mineral water in my bag. I was so happy that day. Because of me, there was absolutely no money to buy drinks. A drink of water in this little plastic glass means a lot to me. Only, he was embarrassed to give it straight away. If it wasn't for Rena accidentally seeing the Son, holding my bag, I probably wouldn't have known forever.

Until now, if I buy mineral water, I always buy drinks with the same brand. Don't want another. No, not because of the price. I want to keep remembering those beautiful memories. Even though, I still forgot.

You know Son, I'm a freak huh. We promised to always be together, but I forgot you. Why as long as you're in America, you haven't told me. If I knew the reason you broke our promise, I wouldn't be mad at you. I might just be a little disappointed. But look at my situation now. Soon I will belong to another man and that man, not you.

Were it not for the sound of birds chirping in my window, I would not have wanted to wake up. I got up and wiped away the tears that had soaked the curves of my face. I wouldn't, if mom and dad saw me like this. Looking at her little princess, who was upset by love.