Scratches of Destiny

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My happiness did not last long, when I was about 2 years old my grandmother left me because the angel izrail had done his duty. Nothing else can restore a heart rate that has been cut off.

But what is with me? why do I never seem to know him? I'm not even looking for grandma. Whereas before, a day not to meet grandma alone I felt a deep longing.

Grandma got sick and in the end had to go to the hospital, I've never looked for grandma again.

I forgot about my grandmother, didn't I. Not forgetting.

More precisely I no longer whine asking to meet with grandma. I don't know what happened to me so I became like this.

I never cried again if there was no grandmother beside me, until finally grandma left for good I never looked for her either.

My attitude that had suddenly changed like this had left all my family astonished by my drastic change. Some think this may be one of God's ways so that I don't feel too sad about looking for a grandmother, because God wants to take her sooner. Maybe this is one of the best ways from God for me so that later I will not be sad and not bother everyone until I am made to forget about grandma.

 

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My growth is so fast, it does not feel now I am about 5 years old. I have been in school at TK Z which happens to be located not far from where I live. It is not uncommon for me to walk to school alone, without friends.

It feels, loneliness accompanied by a sense of loneliness has become my friend can even be called my best friend.

Ever since I was a kid, no matter how old I was, I've been used to living alone. I do everything alone.

From childhood I was far from the affection of a father. Not for what, but it's all because my father had to work out of town, Nganjuk who was close to home when he was born first. Since then I have rarely met my father, once a month not necessarily met. You can imagine how lonely and longed I was when there was no father beside me.

The days I spent without a father, I was accompanied only by a mother who had conceived me, given birth to me, cared for me to this day.

I miss you, but things don't last long. Not because I met you, but because of something that kept me away from you.

Dad works out of town, while my mother has to work from morning until late afternoon, my sister is still in school and working. After school I was always at home alone with no friends, I was accompanied only by TV and books that I used to write all my heart curses every day.

It turns out that this feeling of loneliness is too deep makes me more crazy, but not crazy huh. I'm still sane, if I don't believe I can be checked.

Sometimes being too lonely makes my heart so erratic, which at first is very happy. However, 5 minutes later I felt a deep sadness.

••

When the morning after doing two raka'at together, I already found my mother who was busy preparing breakfast for her children. While my brothers are already getting ready to go to school and work.

I immediately rushed towards the bathroom, with lightning fast I had already completed my bathing activity. When I came out of the bathroom I heard the sound of my mother saying goodbye to my brothers. Then my mom came up to me to say goodbye, too.

After saying goodbye to me, my mother gave money to me to snack later at school and at home.

Not long after Mom left for work, my brothers began to follow my farewells to work and school until finally there was only me at home.

It's normal for me, I have nothing to do alone. Not because my brother or mother does not want to take care of me, but they all have their own busy lives and I have never had a problem with that.

Outside there children my age are still spoiled by his parents, wearing a uniform must be worn by his parents, so eating must also be fed by his parents. Wherever accompanied by parents, ask for this is always obedience. There is no shortage of affection from both parents. That's lucky the boy.

If asked if I want to be like that or not? The answer I would have wanted, but this has become my way of life. Everyone has their own life path, not everyone has the same life path. I always ask Allah SWT, may I live this life with gratitude, bitter or sweet life, may I always be grateful not to complain in the least. Maybe this is the best for me and maybe this is one of God's ways to make me independent not too dependent on others even though it is my own family.

I always knew it wasn't because God didn't like me or hate me. This is precisely the form of God's love for each of His servants. Even though I didn't get the full affection of both my parents. I remain grateful, at least I am still given the opportunity to meet them, still able to see my family intact even though the presence of my father is not always beside me, besides all of us.

flashback to here first yes.

Connect ...

For those who are still confused by the storyline try to understand little by little the story yes, surely know that this is part of the story from Alira's past, Alira, later there will be things that seem not easy to forgive and will be a very difficult past to forget, and will be a very deep regret.

If you want the continuation follow my story read ersad pasih ️

See you at Next.

Healthy you guys, do not forget to stay in the trail like, comment, and rate 5 yes let the author add his up spirit.

Thank you also to anyone who has supported me so far, may Allah always take care of you wherever you are and may your kindness be reciprocated by Allah SWT.

Aamiin Aamiin Aamiin ya robbal'alamin

Assalamu'alaikum, see you ️