Queen Kepo
16. Fear
...I'm more afraid of losing you than I am afraid of being perceived as bad by people...
The queen held the cheek next to her right, freshly slapped by Kayla. Kayla looked at the Queen sharply, as if the Queen was her great enemy. While the Queen replied with a look of disbelief if the one who just slapped her was Kayla, her own best friend.
"The pain is not as bad as what I felt" instead of apologizing for his rude actions, Kayla instead hurt the Queen again with her scathing words.
"Oh so you're getting revenge?"
Both Kayla and the Queen allowed her eyes on the source of the sound coming right from the doorstep of the music room. With the man who was being watched by the Queen and Kayla walked to the side of the Queen.
The man was, of course, Gavin, who was standing next to the Queen by clenching his hand on the Queen's hand. Gavin there seems to be a defender of the Queen who makes a suddenly strange atmosphere.
Because a man should defend his girlfriend instead of his ex-girlfriend, but Gavin never knew he should always be her without any care. The queen frowned while looking at Gavin in disbelief while Kayla looked at Kayla with an aura of hatred.
"Gavin why do you deket the tempter?" the weightless and unquestionable question was thrown out of Kayla's mouth in anger.
The Queen had just opened her mouth to refute what Kayla had just asked, but Gavin's hand tightened it as if telling the Queen to be quiet.
"Who seduced me?Queen you mean?The Queen never seduced me even me who often seduced the Queen, that's because I love her"
Instantaneous silence. What Gavin just said only made things worse. Kayla is getting emotional. While the Queen is getting scared, even though she should be happy because Gavin just said that Gavin loves her but this is not the right time to be happy. Much happier than the suffering of others.
"Lo's boyfriend is I'm not the Queen" Kayla pressed in a slightly high tone.
"What I love is the Queen is not lo" shouted Gavin no less high than Kayla.
...*...
..."I'd like to say" ...
Dozens of times the Queen said that but it was always answered with a slab by Gavin. The Queen could have spoken without Gavin's permission but the Queen did not confirm if she could be okay after that. Gavin forbade her from speaking a single word and that was definitely the Queen's must obey.
Gavin who before the Queen knew was a troublemaker student. On his first day at High School he made a mistake. That's what Kayla told the Queen. Even Gavin dared to slap even cruel to his girlfriend and she was in the school environment.
The Queen regrets having to deal with Gavin. The Queen regrets ever being imposted on Gavin's life and the Queen regrets ever assuring Gavin to be his girlfriend.
"Where are we going?" The queen ventured to ask even though she was actually very afraid that Gavin would get angry.
Gavin releases the Queen's hand. He exhaled his breath riled. His footsteps stopped at that moment. The queen also stopped her steps.
"Where is it up to me"
"But you're the same as me, not alone"
"Because I'm going anywhere"
The Queen's face looked terrified. Because Gavin would do as he pleased and now people started glancing sharply at them. Naturally, Gavin is the troublemaker who is often the center of attention and the troublemaker is now together with the Queen-friends of his own girlfriend.
The Queen thought that Gavin would not understand what the Queen had been feeling. From the beginning of the scorn of the people, the reaction of Kayla and also the others if they see the Queen mingling with Gavin. Perhaps what they saw was a multilayered romance of happiness but deep down the Queen felt that this was a layered compulsion of sadness.
"Gue was afraid" the Queen murmured in a soft voice almost like a whisper.
Gavin who heard it immediately pulled the Queen's hand without caring for a few pairs of eyes that would later document their soaps and then spread it through mouth to mouth.
Gavin removed his gotu kola when he managed to bring the Queen to the back of the cafeteria of one of the schools. Luckily, this canteen was deserted. Because it's home and the cafeteria is closed. The question the Queen always asks herself is what Gavin will do at this hour of return.
"Gue was scared but you made me even more afraid" said the Queen honestly. His eyes did not dare to look at Gavin.
Gavin looked at the Queen's every move. Gavin approached and asked.
"Why afraid?"
The Queen kept quiet, thinking Gavin should know what the Queen was afraid of.
"Why afraid?" gavin asked once again, It turned out that Gavin really did not know what the Queen was afraid of.
"Why afraid?"
"Do you not think that every action that you do is painful to people, including me. Just now, if you hold my hand-" The Queen deliberately hung her words to look at Gavin, the Queen wanted to see what kind of response Gavin gave. It turned out that Gavin was really paying attention to her and the Queen was a little nervous, a little bit.
"When you have a boyfriend. And what people say when they see us. It is not considered bad, but I. Too selfish to understand my feelings"
The queen exhaled a long breath, there was a sense of happiness in her heart for having said the burden on her, although not all of it.
"Lo don't have to be afraid. Other people are never self lo, they never rasain what you rasain. So from now on think to yourself"
"It was selfish***" the Queen swore in her heart.
The queen was eager to say that Gavin was selfish but how did she say it.
"Agoist" involuntarily the murmur slid from the Queen's mouth and it seemed Gavin heard because he immediately said "No papa I'm selfish. Losing you hurts more than I considered bad in people's eyes"
"Gue em-" Gavin didn't do it.
"My sister Queen" Gavin snapped in a high tone successfully making the Queen immediately look at him.
Now their eyes meet. After a few seconds Gavin continued his words.
"Gue is selfish. I never cared about people. I love you and I won't care about people and your same heart"
The queen seemed to not understand what Gavin meant, then she nodded her eyebrows.
"You don't know who it is for. I love you whether you want to like it or not" press Gavin makes the Queen even more afraid.
The queen focused her gaze in the other direction. He no longer wanted to look at Gavin's face.
"Gue wants to go home"
"Gue wants you"
"Gue's seriously going home"
"Gue is serious about you too"
