Pregnancy I Didn't Want

griefs

Part 3

The more the day my lower abdomen gets cramped, my breasts become swollen and painful, my mood is also not because it often changes. These are signs that I am going to have a menstrual period. But this has been a month.

"Why haven't I come to the moon yet?" I'm confused.

There was worry in my heart, could it be that I was pregnant. I deny that happened. I believe the next day or two of my period will come.

All the effort I've made. Every morning I drink sour turmeric herbal medicine, drink young papaya grated, and drink yeast mixed with coriander. Ah... It was all for nothing.

The day changed, and now it had entered the second month.

Every morning I wake up feeling my lower abdomen, precisely in the uterine area.

I feel like my uterus is getting hard.

"You why Ara? I see you so often as a little confused." Ask Mas Ardan curious.

"There's nothing." My answer belies the question.

"Don't lie well, I can rasain loh, you keep something from mas. Come on, be honest, let's settle down together if there's a problem".Ardan continues to persuade me.

"Hoo.hu...hu..." I can't answer Mas Ardan yet. My tears started to pour. I hugged my husband tightly.

"Darling don't cry. Calm down. Tell me first let you feel relieved." Mas Ardan stroked my head lovingly.

"I haven't had my period... Mas don't get mad ya. (hu.hu.hu.hu.)" I was crying so hard that I had the feeling I had been holding all this time.

"That means you're pregnant? Why are they angry too. Well... Why are you crying too?" I saw Mas Ardan smiling sumringah.

"I don't know if I'm ready to get pregnant again. Kasian Dilan mas, he still needs a lot of affection from us." I'm still as happy as I am.

"Tomorrow we'll go to the clinic, yes, let's check for sure."

"No. I don't want to. I don't want to get pregnant first." My objection to Mas Ardan.

"Continue to love dear, if God has given you the gift of pregnancy yes we keep dong. God entrusts us because God believes we can take care of him." Mas Ardan lectured me softly.

While in my mind that only thought of how I menstruated as soon as possible.

***

"Eastern... Vegetables..." There was a typical scream of vegetable traders early in the morning.

"That there is a pineapple." Ask me slowly before being caught shopping by other mothers.

"There-there's mbak. Over there, it's the season now. How many?" He passed by and got it for me.

"Three of them. Don't be too mature."

"Mama Dilan cook what now..?" Ask my neighbor Goddess who suddenly appeared beside me.

"Somegranate soup is the same as fried tempeh." The presence of my neighbor who was this kepo made me misbehave.

"Everything is wrapped in a vegetable soup bang and the paste equals one pack." My love, so that the pineapple I bought is invisible to the Goddess.

"How much is the total bang?"

"Thirty thousand of them."Soon I

pay with money.

"I'm in a hurry, let's cook it quickly." Soon I leave them.

"Dewi see yes I bought pineapple, he could later mocked me." I'm getting worried about myself.

***

Before breakfast I ate the young pineapple.

Before I caught Mas Ardan, I was afraid he was angry.

"Mom..." Dilan's voice surprised me.

"What's matan mom?" Ask curiously.

"Fruit eating. Mama made Dilan breakfast first." I persuaded him not to ask for the pineapple I was eating.

"You want Ma's." He whined while snatching his pineapple from my hand.

"Ikks.. wryly, what fruit is this Ma?" Hurriedly he mopped and wiped his mouth.

"This is called pineapple. Dilan, play take it. It's medicine for Mama, Dilan can't eat ya." I had to lie to him.

"Mama cook vegetables same fried tempe first. Later when I wake up we have breakfast." Invite me, so that he does not become upset.

***

"Dilan wake up father first baby, take breakfast."

Not yet I can finish my words I've seen him eagerly running towards the room.

"His dreams Mama has come, we have breakfast first.." I welcome Mas Ardan and Dilan to the dinner table.

"The vegetable aroma is delicious." Praise Mas Ardan for teasing me.

"Apaan the mas. I'm just cooking vegetable soup." I smiled shyly.

"Well, if my wife is cooking, it must be delicious." Thoughtful ideal.

"It could be, gombal early in the morning, taste first how it feels." I'm getting embarrassed.

"Emmm... Really good." Mas Ardan tasted the vegetables and then took a plate of rice full.

"Dad... Fathering... Ian matan was a wry fruit." Dilan's babble made my heart beat unnaturally.

"What fruit is son.., eat the fruit wry kok early in the morning." Mas Ardan responded casually while continuing to eat his breakfast.

"Fruit pineapple. Mama said it was medicine for mama." Dilan's answer made me want to run away from the dinner table.

"Don't say yes, Dilan continue to eat breakfast first." I saw Mas Ardan trying to calm himself down in front of our son.

Maybe he knows what I'm doing.

"If you have finished breakfast, play by yourself first."

I'm not calm, what would happen if Mas Ardan knew I was doing something weird.

We're done with breakfast.

Dilan passed leaving us both.

I tried to keep myself busy in the kitchen, while waiting for what Mas Ardan would do after knowing my actions.

"Mom..." Ardan called me in a soft voice.

"Yes, it's." I'm trying to calm down.

"What did Dilan say just now." Ask curiously.

"What the hell mas, I just want to." I'm quibbling.

"To my knowledge, well, people eat young pineapples trying to abort the womb, don't do it weird, don't take any chances." Mas Ardan's tone began to rise.

"Who's pregnant, I'm just having a late period." My tears are starting to melt.

"Look we check, let's be sure you're pregnant or not." Challenge me.

"No. I told you from yesterday I don't want a check, I don't want to go to the clinic, and I don't want anyone to know." I replied trying to strengthen myself.

"Whatever. But if you do something that threatens your safety or your content that I believe has developed it. Let's just say I'm lost in this world." He screamed as he left me.

I was crying so much.

He was never rude to me before.