Oh My Love's

New Load

At this moment, Sasha was massaging my forehead, while I slept on her thighs and a long sofa. My head was quite dizzy, probably due to exposure to the sun for too long and it was quite hot today.

I looked at Sasha's face and said, "Sasha, have you lost your good looks?"

"What are you talking about?" His eyes squinted in response. "Are you tired of seeing me?"

"Now I see you, it's like I want to puke." It's not a joke, I really said it and now the nausea is starting to come, but I'm holding back.

Sasha brushed her hair back with her next hand and chuckled. "Don't look at it then."

"But I want to see you continue" I replied, stroking her cheek with one hand. "I really want to vomit."

"Wake up first."

After being ordered, Sasha got up and picked up the P3K box on the drawer under the TV. He took the herbal sachet medicine to catch a cold, then gave it to me. While trying to drink it, I ran to the kitchen and vomited in the dishwasher.

Something stuck in my brain. Lately I have not come months and it feels tired quickly, not like I usually like this. On second thought, I cleaned my mouth and walked to the room without caring about Sasha who was worried. I took the phone while biting my index finger, and opened the web shopping online to buy small items that I should not have bought openly.

A few minutes passed and the exit of the apartment was knocked. Before Sasha went to open, I darted as fast as I could to receive a small package from the courier that came.

"So what was it?" sasha asked without getting any answers from me.

Surely, I went to the bathroom and fulfilled the call of nature. Sitting on top of the toilet and lamenting an object showing two red lines had me grabbing my own hair. Isn't this fast enough? I think I want to kick every home over getting this reality.

I looked towards the belly that was still in normal shape, slim and small because it was not yet time to eat. Will it grow up so fast? Looks like I need a corset. But it could make me feel sick myself. How do I hide it?

Out of the bathroom and I immediately stood in front of the large mirror that I usually used to look at while improving the appearance of the uniform. I pulled the shirt up and kept looking at the stomach which was no different from a plywood.

Were the test results wrong? Seems like. Ah, but there's no way such a thing would be broken or lying. What the hell am I thinking? It is as if you are lying to yourself to deny what happened.

After all, I cannot describe the natural expression anywhere and anytime.

In an apartment, a school, in front of friends or Sasha, it feels like a sour-faced statue. Sometimes many people ask about my problems that are depicted in the face, but I can only be persistent. Learning not to focus, eating tasteless, starting to stay away from Sasha as much as possible even if she just invites me to talk.

Am I right in behaving like this? My anxiety was too heavy and my mouth was always silenced for being reluctant to speak the truth.

"Lia, what are you doing?"

When I ate breakfast before going to school, Sasha's words shocked me. Hurriedly finish the bread with this thawed chocolate, then immediately leave without responding to it. Again my bad reaction made the people around me sensitive and maybe worried.

I should how? Can this be called bad luck?

"If there's a problem, tell me."

My daydream broke as Sasha suddenly appeared sitting in the bus seat next to me. My face is really hard to control to hide worries.

My only choice was one, which was to answer, "Nothing."

"You're not good at hiding feelings" Sasha replied as she pulled out a mini notebook from her pocket, then read after saying, "Absolutely, I can't be used as a place to lean on you when there's a problem?"

"No problem." My head stared at the window and tried to set the reaction as flat as possible.

Silence and mouth refused to answer the question. No, I was wrong in this situation too. Not really, what I got wasn't a mistake or a bad luck. If I think like that, I would have just eliminated what disturbs my calm.

"It looks like yes" he continued and my hand clenched automatically over his thigh.

When we got to school, Sasha didn't ask any more questions despite Hana and Tristan asking me about my condition. Moreover, the class president admonished me to go to the UKS because he said my face looks pale. I'm stressed about this little thing.

My problems started to increase as the break was about to end, Sasha pulled me away to the back area of the school. Then, both of his hands folded like a boss waiting for his subordinate's confession.

"You've been like this for a week." Without looking at me, he continued, "You think, like this I don't feel burdened?"

My forehead shriveled and was annoyed by his words. My emotions were falling apart and I knew there was no need to be angry.

"What do you know about my burden? Just feel it no!" my sergeant glared. "Damn, don't talk if you don't know anything."

Gawat, I accidentally spoke rudely.

"How can I feel if you don't tell me, Lia?"

The bell for the order to enter the class has rung. Good thing, I have reason to avoid.

"Despite knowing, you won't feel it either" I replied. "I want to go back to class."

As she was about to walk away, Sasha spontaneously held my hand. "It's polite to stop talking like this?"

My hands jolted hard until they got away from him, then walked off to the class that fortunately the OSIS had not patrolled. I felt a little guilty for talking to Sasha. Should I apologize? However, my emotions refused to do that.

When I got home from school, I took the time to slow down in cleaning the table, so that the picket kids would be done. However, Sasha remained silent in her seat as if waiting to come home with me.

I felt my heartbeat speed up as looking around became increasingly blurry and faint. My chaotic thoughts began to interfere and I felt like there was a wind blowing all over my body.

"Hey, Lia," called the girl behind me as I got up from the bench. "Cover your skirt with a bag. Hurry, before the others see you."

Spontaneously I glanced so focused at the back skirt and found a red color that formed a small circle. Apparently menstruation, then the testpack results are wrong.

"Need pads? I have this," said the other girl sweeping behind the class

Suddenly I felt staggered and my balance was less stable. A moment later, I felt my eyes blurry and dark. Finally, I fell down and hit the head on the table next to me. Panicked voices echoed and my consciousness slowly came to a thought. It also felt like someone was holding me until the shaking was very uncomfortable.

"It looks like she's anemic and because it's coming months, she's passed out!"

"I don't think this is a healthy month. It must be clean blood that he let out and not dirty blood, so it's like this."

"Don't take it to the UKS, the hospital directly. Children who picket UKS is impossible to take care of patients like this."

"Reserve a taxi, hurry!"

Eventually, all the sounds disappeared, along with my consciousness.

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